IAM943- Psychotherapist Addresses Toxic Relationship Patterns
Podcast Interview with Dr. Janie Lacy
Dr. Janie Lacy is a Licensed Relationship Trauma Psychotherapist who has over fifteen years of experience working with those who have unsuccessfully tried to break free from their toxic relationship patterns. By addressing the root issue of their suffering, Janie creates breakthrough experiences from the inside out, allowing her clients to finally find peace within themselves they have so desperately longed for in life. She is the Founder and CEO of Life Counseling Solutions in Maitland, Florida.
- CEO Hack: Getting up at 5 am and listening to podcasts, writing my gratitude journal and pouring into my self
- CEO Nugget: Get support and ask to help
- CEO Defined: Being at the bottom o the chain
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Dr. Janie Lacy 0:00
I would tell myself to get support along the way. And asking for help is not a bad thing.
Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business, some awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview? And so you come to the right place Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I am CEO podcast.
Gresham Harkless 0:35
Hello, hello, hello, this is Gresh from the IMC podcast and I have a very special guest on the show today, Dr. JD Lacy of life counseling solutions. Dr. Janie, it's awesome to have you on show.
Dr. Janie Lacy 0:44
Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here.
Gresham Harkless 0:46
No problem. Super excited to have you on as well. And before we jumped in, I want to read a little bit more about Dr. Janie so you hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. Dr. Janie is a licensed relationship trauma psychotherapist, who has over 15 years of experience working with those who have unsuccessfully tried to break free from their toxic relationship patterns. By addressing the root issue of their suffering. Dr. Janie creates breakthrough experiences from the inside out, allowing her clients to finally find peace within themselves, they have so desperately longed for in their life. She is the founder and CEO of life counseling solutions based in Orlando, Florida. Dr. Janie, are you ready to speak to the IMCL community?
Dr. Janie Lacy 1:22
I am ready to speak to the I am CEO community.
Gresham Harkless 1:26
Awesome. Well, let's do it, then. It's kind of kicks everything off. I want to hear a little bit more on how you got started. Can you take us through what I call your CEO story? Where did you get started with all the awesome work you're doing?
Dr. Janie Lacy 1:34
Absolutely. You know, I'm a big believer that we find our purpose. And we find what we're meant to be if we heed to all the signals along the way, because I always tell people in my mind, I didn't set up I didn't set out to be a CEO, and have payroll and having Portugese and have that responsibility of like it was not my plan. So there was a bigger plan for me. But you know, how I got started was basically I was in the MBA program at UCF. And I had a mentor at the time that I gave a lot of weight to and I remember going to the to my mentor, and I said, I think I want to drop out of the MBA program, and I want to get into Counseling Psychology. And I was like nervous because this person was kind of like a father figure to me. And he looked at me and said, I don't know why I didn't think about that sooner. So that I dropped that MBA program, make a long story short, got into a counseling psychology program. And then I was looking at the salary of a therapist, and I'm like, Okay, this truly must be a God thing, because I dropped out of my business school, my MBA program, my undergrad in business. But when I look along the guideposts along the way that God was preparing for me, I'm a person of faith, but God was preparing me for what was the come. So I had this bachelor's degree in business that I thought was a waste at that time. And then now I had my counseling psychology degree. And I was working for different organizations, and someone came along, which was an angel at the time and said, Look, I, I'm an internship program, my husband and I have been very successful. We don't want to go work for an organization. And we need a licensed person, I was licensed at the time, Scott license, and we'll build out your Pratt, we'll build out your office and one of our commercial properties in Orlando, so that you can just be on site so that I can practice and not have to have go into an agency. So make a long story short, those two years haven't had enabled me to kind of get a little bit of running my own business and figuring it out. And then after two years, I was able to expand to life, what life counseling solutions is now debt-free, hired therapist, all these other things. So I think when we listen, and we allow ourselves to have let people pour into us along the way, we get exactly where we need to get to because at that time, I had my undergrad in business, doing Counseling Psychology, I was reading leadership books by John Maxwell, I don't know why I was reading those books back then I just liked them. But when I look along the way everything was preparing me for my future. And you know, even I believe today, like anyone that's listening to the podcast, or watching everything that they're doing now everything that we so into is really a seed for our future. Even though we don't know, I'm a big believer that we have to have faith, right? If we wait for everything to be right in front of us, we're probably not going to move. So the faith journey for me, and that's how I got started.
Gresham Harkless 4:15
Nice. So I definitely appreciate you for that, you know, telling us all about that. And reminding us of that, because, you know, I'm really big into, you know, understanding that we all have a purpose, we all have something that's God given, you know, for each of us. And I think the more that we take the steps, sometimes we're not sure exactly what the steps are, or how they're going to align. That's when we show our faith. But it also starts to make sense. Sometimes when we look back and say, Oh, that's why I decided to do this, or that's why I read that book, or I had this mentor things start to align when you have that faith and you start to start to take those steps.
Dr. Janie Lacy 4:45
Absolutely. And I believe when we get into alignment, and when we are where we need to be it doesn't necessarily mean being a CEO every day is easy, right? And for the most part, you know, I think people glamorize certain positions or certain leadership's and it's Not that fun, right? You know, you have to make a lot of tough decisions, you have to sacrifice time, you have to sacrifice, you know, time or even holiday, sometimes there's holidays where I'm at the office, you know, and you got to do a lot of the grunt work. But I think sometimes people get stars in their eyes, or they get caught with these titles. And I'm not saying there isn't benefits to being in leadership or to be a CEO or to be an entrepreneur. But I think sometimes people don't realize that you got to, you got to pay your dues, you got to put in the work. You still put in the work, but you you do the work so that you can not only have a better future, but you also understand that you're walking and you're moving in your in your purpose. And when you do that time is time, right?
Gresham Harkless 5:39
Yeah, absolutely, he gets to make a really big impact. But I love that you said that because I think so many times there isn't like the, I guess the holistic or the full story of what it takes in what you have to do and the sacrifices that people can make. And I always remind myself of this quote, I always hear where the secret to overnight success as it takes 10 years. And we always see that overnight success, we see the person that's doing all the great work, we don't see the 10 years, we don't see the ups and downs and the rounds and rounds and all of those things to get there. We just see that that part. And I think we're doing you know, ourselves just service and so many other people. We don't talk about that and let people know, this is exactly what it is.
Dr. Janie Lacy 6:14
Exactly. And I think, you know, it's important that when we build along the way as we're sacrificing and redoing, it just really prepares you to be the best leader. And it prepares you to be in the position where it's kind of like I get the picture in my mind where you have these broad shoulders where sometimes you just got to bear stuff that other people don't see your bearing. And you know, I think a lot of times when we when we do that it kind of gets us more clearer, we learn along the way. And it just really positions us to be the best CEO, the best leader and being in the best position of entrepreneurship so that we can because for me, I'm a big believer in holding up the ladder for those that are coming behind me. And what I'm doing that, you know, life experience also gives us the wisdom and wisdom is not just life experience. But as we learned the lessons along the way to be able to have the wisdom to hold our hand back to pull people up and not be threatened if they go farther and faster than we do, right. Because sometimes I believe that I learned the lesson so that those behind me can get there faster and further. Because I planted a seed along the way. So when you know your purpose, you don't get threatens you're able to hold people up. And you're also know that there's never going to be a Janie Lacy in that sense that we are our secret sauce and our business.
Gresham Harkless 7:23
Yeah, absolutely. And I was gonna ask you that I want you to hear a little bit more about, you know exactly how you work with your clients. And if that is what you feel is in fact, the secret sauce, the thing you feel kind of sets you apart and makes you unique.
Dr. Janie Lacy 7:35
One of three hats. So the main hat is being a psychotherapist working in my practice and healing and the healing space. It comes for me in three pillars. The first pillar is our mindset. Our mindset prepares us for the second, which is the inner work, sometimes it has to do with childhood sometimes has to do with our toxic patterns, limiting belief systems, and then the bodywork. When we have experienced trauma, our body also keeps the score of our nervous system, there's something called polyvagal therapy. So those three pillars is how I work with my clients, not only individually, but in relationships and group. And then I also am a faculty member for the International Institute of trauma and addiction professionals. So what that means to you and to viewers and listeners is that I teach other therapists how to work within particular women and trauma, because it's not, it's not for the faint of heart, right? You know, it's like you're going out to the battlefield, and I got to make sure I'm armored up. I know what I'm dealing with, in that sense. And it does take those three pillars along the way.
Gresham Harkless 8:33
Yeah, that makes so much sense. And he brought up a really big point, because I think so many times, especially especially obviously in the work that you do, but in so many ways we're giving so much of ourselves that we often sometimes forget that our cups are full forget that we're taking care of ourselves, not just in a selfish way. But just so that we are able to be our best selves when we are serving the clients that we're working with.
Dr. Janie Lacy 8:52
Absolutely, and we have to be far enough away from the clients that we're serving, but yet relatable to them to really make a difference. And you know, a lot of some, not all, but some of the women I can relate to their struggles, some of them are CEOs themselves, their C suite, they're they're entrepreneurs, they're successful by society standards, but they have challenges and personal relationships because of things that are unhealed inside of them. Right. So having my own healing journey, and also being a CEO, you know, someone that does very well, in that sense. So they are able to relate with them in that sense. So they could trust me, right? Because of the the receipts so to speak. Yeah,
Gresham Harkless 9:28
Absolutely. And I think as you said, you know, so Well, there's so many times we we go through things in life, not necessarily for ourselves to get the lesson only, but also so that we can help out so many other people have that relatability and that empathy that we're able to show, it allows us to serve you know even more better, but I also you know, definitely correct me if I'm wrong. It kind of sounds like I always say we zoom over the human aspect of business and we forget that we're holistic people and like relationships and all those things play a part in how we're running our business and vice versa is sometimes when we forget our skip over one aspect of ourselves we sometimes are doing a detriment to other parts of our business or our life or relationships.
Dr. Janie Lacy 10:06
If we haven't learned anything from what we've gone through in 2020, that is relationships matter more than ever, right? So our health, our relationships, because when you think about so many stories that I heard, where people found themselves alone, right, but they were all about business, they were all about focusing on task and things that they were doing, but nobody was sitting groceries to their house, nobody was checking in on them, or those that did have people that were there for them and supporting them through the epidemic, realize that the most important thing we're relationships was their health and their relationships and their peace of mind. So when we think about CEOs, and being entrepreneurs and business owners, you cannot replace you know, there's that saying, your network, your net, your net worth, is your network, your network is your net worth, right? It really is it true, right? It's priceless. This is who you know, who's there for you, who can help you with resources, all of those things. So, you know, as we continue to walk in 2021, I say build your network, build your network, and not just about what I can get, but what I can give them and strengthen the relationships you've already had, and not get so focused on I'm practicing myself not getting so focused on tasks and what we have to do. But my own personal goal is that I reach out to one person a day, it could be my family, it could be a friend, it's someone even if it's a text message, hey, thinking about you, how's it going? Because when I make that promise to myself, that means it's at the top of my mind, and it's what's most important, as well as exercise. I got up this morning, and I did some agility training. That's why I haven't had any coffee yet. Because taking care of my physical, my physical health. So I think all those things matter for us as CEOs and entrepreneurs.
Gresham Harkless 11:42
Yeah, absolutely. Those things are definitely huge. And I love you know, you talked about that relationship piece because I think, you know, definitely, during a time, you know, like this, and we're still you know, kind of going into 2021. It's just understanding what truly, truly matters and being able to kind of be reminded of that. And it kind of sounds like those are hacks that you do CEO hacks, things that make you more effective, efficient is that working out and making sure that you're checking in on somebody on a regular basis?
Dr. Janie Lacy 12:04
Absolutely. So I'm a big believer that we give the first fruits of our day to ourself, and I have a son, right. So you know, whether you have families, you have spouses, you got pets, you got stuff going on, is I make a promise to get up each and every morning at 5am. Even if I go to bed at one o'clock. And what I do in that power hour to power hour for me, is I do two devotionals, I journal about those devotionals I write my gratitude list. And then I do some type of stretching or exercise. And then I start my day as I'm listening actually to the podcast right now it's clubhouse all the way all the time in the background. And I'm always I'm pouring into myself, so whatever the day has, for me, I am ready, because I fulfilled myself. And I believe we get from a place of abundance and not from a place of lack. And when we get from a place of lack, and I once was this person, I would jump out of the bed alarm, you know, snooze, snooze, snooze, and I'm rushing, rushing, rushing, grabbing junk, because I'm rushing, right? And I completely have changed my mindset. And I believe that I'm more present when I'm with people, I'm a better leader. And most importantly, I'm better to myself,
Gresham Harkless 13:11
What would you consider to be what I call a CEO nugget, which might be a word of wisdom or piece of advice, it might be something you would tell a client? Or if you're to happen to a time machine, you might tell your younger business?
Dr. Janie Lacy 13:20
Oh, no, when I go back into a time machine, I like that question. And I would tell my younger self, I would tell myself to get support along the way. And asking for help is not a bad thing.
Gresham Harkless 13:32
Awesome, awesome. Awesome. So now I want to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. We're all gonna have different, quote-unquote, CEOs on the show. So Dr. Janie, what does being a CEO mean to you,
Dr. Janie Lacy 13:42
I suppose being a CEO means to me is that I'm actually at the bottom of the chain. And I hold everybody up to be able to be their best self, to find them working from their place of strength. So when they look in the mirror, my motto and I try to hold everyone in my organization on the same model, if it aligns with what they're doing, is that I want to die empty, because I'm giving everything that I have, but also fulfilling myself at the moment because it is a place of purpose and a place of passion. I feel fulfilled. I want to get to the office, and I'm happy about getting to the office. Glad to remember the days when I used to work in organizations where it's like I couldn't wait for Friday. I can't wait to Monday. Wait till today, right? So I try to espouse that into my own organization that people feel wanted, they feel heard, they feel acknowledged, and most importantly, they feel seen. And that's what me that's what being a CEO means to me.
Gresham Harkless 14:29
Awesome, awesome, awesome. I definitely appreciate that perspective. And in that culture that you get to create it. So many times we forget that we always want to create that culture. But a lot of times it starts with us and to be able to have that impact upon ourselves in our lives. And it starts to showcase itself in the people that we're working with the culture and the community and environment that we create is so huge because that's when you really start to make an impact not just for ourselves, but the people and the families of the people and so on and so forth.
Dr. Janie Lacy 14:53
Absolutely. That's what it's about is that I want anyone that comes into my presence, they feel better or They do better while they are better because they had a moment of allowing me to touch their life
Gresham Harkless 15:05
Awesome awesome awesome well you definitely did that for us today Dr. Janie so I truly appreciate all the awesome work that you're doing I appreciate your time as well what I wanted to do was pass you the mic so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional that you want to let our readers and listeners know and of course how best I can get hold of you and find out about all the awesome things you're working on.
Dr. Janie Lacy 15:21
Yep, absolutely. So if anyone wants to follow me across social media I'm @Janie Lacy and all the social media platforms and I have www.janielacy.com, www.lifecounselingsolutions.com at the end of this month I'm releasing my digital course. Woman redeemed it's a step by step gameplan to in toxic relational pattern someone have some lives and masterminds across that so if anyone is interested in that, and then my show let's talk about it with Jamie Lacy also kicks off at the end of this month and I have some fun left some celebrity guests already booked Grant Cardone, Chris Winfield, Jen Godley, Montel Williams so have some some great things coming up this month so follow me and be alone attorney with me.
Gresham Harkless 16:01
Awesome, awesome. awesome. Thank you so much Dr. Janie we will have those links and information in the show notes as well too for the podcast and in the course and all the awesome things that you're working on. But I appreciate you so much for bringing us so much light and positivity and energy into this podcast and this show. I appreciate you so much and I hope you have a great rest of the day.
Thank you for listening to the I am CEO podcast powered by CB nation in Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at Iamceo.co I am CEO is not just a phrase this community gets your driven CEO gear and CEO gear dot CEO. This has been the I am CEO podcast with Gresham Harkless Jr. Thank you for listening
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