IAM943- Psychotherapist Addresses Toxic Relationship Patterns

Dr. Janie Lacy is a Licensed Relationship Trauma Psychotherapist who has over fifteen years of experience working with those who have unsuccessfully tried to break free from their toxic relationship patterns. By addressing the root issue of their suffering, Janie creates breakthrough experiences from the inside out, allowing her clients to finally find peace within themselves they have so desperately longed for in life. She is the Founder and CEO of Life Counseling Solutions in Maitland, Florida.

• CEO Hack: Getting up at 5 am and listening to podcasts, writing my gratitude journal, and pouring into myself
• CEO Nugget: Get support and ask for help
• CEO Defined: Being at the bottom of the chain

Website: http://www.lifecounselingsolutions.com/

http://www.janielacy.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/janielacy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janielacy/

Full Interview:

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Transcription

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[00:00:07.59] – Intro

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO podcast.

[00:00:35.39] – Gresham Harkless

Hello. Hello. Hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast, and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have doctor Janie Lacy of Life Counseling Solutions. Doctor Janie, it's awesome to have you on the show.

[00:00:44.29] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here.

[00:00:46.50] – Gresham Harkless

No problem. Super excited to have you on as well. And before we jump in, I want to read a little bit more about doctor Janie so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. Doctor Jani is a licensed relationship trauma psychotherapist who has over fifteen years of experience working with those who have unsuccessfully tried to break free from their toxic relationship patterns. By address by addressing the root issue of their suffering, Doctor Janie creates breakthrough experiences from the inside out, allowing her clients to finally find peace within themselves they have so desperately longed for in their life. She is the founder and CEO of Life Counseling Solutions based in Orlando, Florida. Doctor Janie, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

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[00:01:22.70] – Dr. Janie Lacy

I am ready to speak to the I AM CEO community.

[00:01:26.20] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Well, let's do it then. So to kinda kick everything off, I wanna hear a little bit more on how you got started. Started. Could you take us through what I call your CEO story? We'll let you get started with all the awesome work you're doing.

[00:01:35.50] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Absolutely. I'm a big believer that, we find our purpose and we find what we're meant to be if we adheed to all the signals along the way. Because I always tell people in my mind, I didn't set up I didn't set out to be a CEO and have payroll and have employees and have that responsibility. I'm like, it was not my plan, so there was a bigger plan for me. But how I got started was, basically, I was in the MBA program at UCF, and I had a mentor at the time that I gave a lot of weight to, and I remember going to the to my mentor and I said, I think I wanna drop out of the MBA program and I'm gonna get into counseling psychology.

And I was, like, nervous because because this person was kinda like a father figure to me. And he looked at me and said, I don't know why I didn't think about that sooner. So then I dropped out MBA program, making a long story short, got into a counseling psychology program. And then I was looking at the salary of a therapist, and I'm like, okay. This truly must be a God thing because I dropped out of my business school, my MBA program, my undergrad's in business. But when I look along the guidepost along the way that God was preparing for me, I'm a person of faith, but God was preparing me for what was to come.

So I had this bachelor's degree in business that I thought was a waste at that time, and then now I had my counseling psychology, degree, and I was working for different organizations. And someone came along, which was an angel at the time, and said, look. I, am in an internship program. My husband and I have been very successful. We don't wanna go work for an organization, and we need a licensed person. I was licensed at the time. Scott licensed. And, we'll build out your we'll build out your office in one of our commercial properties in Orlando so that you can just be on site so that I can practice and not have to have, go into an agency.

So make a long story short, those two years haven't had enabled me to kinda get a little bit of running my own business and figuring it out. And then after two years, I was able to expand to life what Life Counseling Solutions is now, debt free, hired therapists, all these other things. So I think when we listen and we allow ourselves to have let people pour into us along the way, we get exactly to where we need to get to. Because at that time, I had my undergrad in business, doing counseling psychology. I was reading leadership books by John Maxwell. I don't know why I was reading those books back then.

I just like them. But when I look along the way, everything was preparing me for my future. And even I believe today, like, anyone who's listening to the podcast or watching, we have to have faith. Right? If we wait for everything to be right in front of us, we're probably not gonna move. So it was a faith journey for me, and that's, how I got started.

[00:04:15.80] – Gresham Harkless

Nice. Well, I definitely appreciate you for, telling us all about that and reminding us of that because I'm really big into understanding that we all have a purpose. We all have something that's God given for each of us. And I think the more that we take the steps sometimes when we're not sure exactly what the steps are or how they're gonna align, That's when we show our faith, but it also starts to make sense sometimes when we look back and say, oh, that's why I decided to do this or that's why I read that book or I had this, mentor. Things start to align when you have that faith and you start to take those steps.

[00:04:45.89] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Absolutely. And I believe, when the when we get into alignment and when we are where we need to be, it doesn't necessarily mean being a CEO every day is easy. Right? And for the most part, I think people glamorize certain positions or certain leaderships, and it's not that fun. Right? You have to make a lot of tough decisions. You have to sacrifice time. You have to sacrifice time or even holidays. Sometimes there's holidays where I'm at the office, you know, and you gotta do a lot of the grunt work.

But I think sometimes people get stars in their eyes or they get caught with these titles. And I'm not saying there isn't benefits, to being in leadership or to be a CEO or to be an entrepreneur. But I think sometimes people don't realize that you gotta you gotta play your dues. You gotta put in the work, and you still put in the work. But you you do the work so that you can, not only have a better future, but you also understand that you're walking and you're moving in your in your purpose. And when you do that, time is time. Right?

[00:05:39.19] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And you get to make a really big impact, but I love that you said that because I think so many times there isn't, like, the, I guess, the holistic or the full story of what it takes and what you have to do and the sacrifices that people can make. And I always remind myself of this quote I always hear where, the secret to overnight success is it takes ten years. And we always see that overnight success. We see the person that's doing all the great work. We don't see the success. We see the person that's doing all the great work. We don't see the ten years. We don't see the ups and downs and the round and rounds and all of those things to get there. We just see that that part. And I think we're doing, you know, ourselves a disservice and so many other people if we don't talk about that and let people know this is exactly what it is.

[00:06:14.50] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Exactly. And I think it's important that when we build along the way as we're sacrificing and we're doing, it just really prepares you to be the best leader and it prepares you to be in the position where it's kinda like I get the picture in my mind where you have these broad shoulders where sometimes you just gotta bear stuff that other people don't see you're bearing. And I think a lot of times when we when we do that, it kinda gets us more clearer. We learn along the way, and it just really, positions us to be the best CEO, the best leader, and being in the best position of entrepreneurship so that we can because for me, I'm a big believer in holding up the ladder for those that are coming behind me.

And when I'm doing that, you know, life experience also gives us the wisdom and wisdom is not just just life experience, but as we learn the lessons along the way to be able to have the wisdom to hold our hand back to pull people up and not be threatened if they go farther and faster than we do. Right? Because sometimes I believe that I learned the lesson so that those behind me can get there faster and further, because I planted a seed along the way. So when you know your purpose, you don't get threatened. You're able to hold people up, and you also know that there's never gonna be a Janie Lacey, in that in that sense that we are our secret sauce in our business.

[00:07:23.69] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Absolutely. And I was gonna ask you that. I want you to hear a little bit more about exactly how you work with your clients and if that is what you feel is, in fact, the secret sauce, sauce, the thing you feel kinda sets you apart and makes you unique.

[00:07:35.30] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Well, I have three hats. So the main hat is being a psychotherapist working in my practice and healing. In the healing space, it comes for me in three pillars. The first pillar is our mindset. Our mindset prepares us for the second, which is the inner work. Sometimes it has to do with childhood, sometimes it has to do with our toxic patterns, limiting belief systems, and then the body work. When we have experienced trauma, our body also keeps the score. Our nervous system is something called polyvagal therapy. So those three pillars is how I work with my clients, not only individually, but in relationships and group.

And then I also am a faculty member for the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals. So what that means, to you and to the viewers and listeners is that I teach other therapists how to work with, in particular, women and trauma. Because it's not it's not for the faint of heart. Right? You know, it's like you're going out to the battlefield and I gotta make sure I'm armored up. Up. Right. I know what I'm dealing with, in in that sense. And it does take those three, pillars along the way.

[00:08:33.29] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. That that makes so much sense. And you brought up a really big point, because I think so many times, especially especially obviously in the work that you do, but in so many ways, we're giving so much of ourselves that we often sometimes forget that our cups are full. Forget that we're taking care of ourselves, not just in a selfish way, but just so that we are able to be, our best selves when we are serving the clients that we're working with.

[00:08:53.29] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Absolutely. And we have to be far enough away from the clients that we're serving, but yet relatable to them to really make a difference. And a lot of some not all, but some of the women, I can relate to their struggles. Some of them are CEOs themselves. They're C suite. They're entrepreneurs. They're successful by society standards, but they have challenges in personal relationships because of things that are unhealed, inside of them. Right? So having my own healing journey and also being a CEO, you know, someone that, does very well in that sense. So they I'm able to relate with them on that sense so they can trust me. Right? Because of the, the receipts, so to speak.

[00:09:28.29] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Absolutely. And I think, as you said, so well that so many times we go through things in life not necessarily for ourselves to get the lesson only, but also so that we can help out so many other people have that relatability and that empathy that we're able to show. And it allows us to serve even more better. But I also you know, definitely correct me if I'm wrong. It kinda sounds like I always say we zoom over the human aspect of business and we forget that we're holistic people and, like, relationships and all those things play a part in how we're running our business and and vice versa. And sometimes when we forget or skip over one aspect of ourselves, we sometimes are doing a detriment to other parts of our business or our life or our relationships.

[00:10:06.39] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Yeah. If we haven't learned anything from what we've gone through in twenty twenty, that is relationships matters more than ever. Right? So our health, our relationships because when you think about so many stories that I heard where people found themselves alone. Right? But they were all about business. They were all about focusing on task and things that they were doing, but nobody was sending groceries to their house. Nobody was checking in on them. Or those that did have people that were there for them and supporting them through the pandemic realized that the most important thing were relationships.

Was their health in their relationships and their peace of mind? So when we think about CEOs and being entrepreneurs and business owners, you cannot replace you know, there's that saying your network your net worth is your network, your network is your net worth, right? It really is true, right? It's priceless. It's who's there for you, who can help you with resources, all of those things. So as we continue to walk in twenty twenty one, I say build your network. Build your network and not just about what I can get, but what I can give them and strengthen the relationships you've already had and not get so focused.

And I'm practicing myself, not getting so focused on task and what we have to do. But my own personal goal is that reach out to one person a day. It could be my family. It could be a friend. It's someone. Even if it's a text message. Hey. Thinking about you. How's it going? Because when I make that promise to myself, that means it's at the top of my mind, and it's what's most important, as well as exercise. I got up this morning, and I did some agility training.

[00:11:35.20] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah.

[00:11:35.60] – Dr. Janie Lacy

That's why I haven't had any coffee yet. They're taking care of my physical my physical health. So I think all those things matter for us as CEOs and entrepreneurs.

[00:11:42.60] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Absolutely. Those things are definitely huge, and I love, that you talked about that relationship piece because I think definitely during a time like this, and we're still kinda in and going into twenty twenty-one, it's just understanding what truly, truly matters and being able to kind of be reminded of that. And it kinda sounds like those are hacks that you do, CEO hacks, things that make you more effective, efficient. Is that that working out and and making sure that you're checking in on somebody on a regular basis?

[00:12:04.89] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Absolutely. So I'm a big believer that we give the first fruits of our day to ourselves. And I have a son. Right? So, whether you have families, you have spouses, you got pets, you got stuff going on, I make a promise to get up each and every morning at 5 AM even if I go to bed at 01:00. And what I do in that power hour, it's a power hour for me, is I do two devotionals. I journal about those devotionals. I write my gratitude list, and then I do some type of stretching or exercise. And then I start my day as I'm listening actually to podcast. Right now, it's Clubhouse all the way all the time in the background.

So, I'm always pouring into myself. So whatever the day has for me, I am ready because I fulfilled myself. And I believe we give from a place of abundance and not from a place of lack. And when we die from a place of lack, and I once was this person, I would jump out of bed, alarm, snooze. And I'm rushing grabbing junk because I'm rushing. Right? And, I completely have changed my mindset, and I believe that I'm more present when I'm with people. I'm a better leader. And most importantly, I'm better at myself.

[00:13:12.00] – Gresham Harkless

What would you consider to be what I call a CEO nugget, which might be a word of wisdom or piece of advice that might be something you would tell a client, or or if you were to hop into a time machine, you might tell your younger business self.

[00:13:21.50] – Dr. Janie Lacy

No. When I go back into a time machine, I like that question. And I would tell my younger self, I would tell myself to get support along the way, and asking for help is not a bad thing.

[00:13:32.20] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So now I wanna ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. We're hoping to have different quote-unquote CEOs on this show. So, doctor Dani, what does being a CEO mean to you? As As

[00:13:42.60] – Dr. Janie Lacy

What being a CEO means to me is that I'm actually at the bottom of the chain, and I hold everybody up to be able to be their best self, to find them working from their place of strength. So when they look in the mirror, my motto, and I try to hold everyone in my organization of the same model if it aligns with what they're doing is that I wanna die empty because I'm giving everything that I have, but also fulfilling myself in the moment because it is a place of purpose and a place of passion I have fulfilled.

I wanna get to the office and I want I'm happy about getting to the office because I also remember the days when I used to work in organizations where it's like, I couldn't wait till Friday. I can't wait till Monday. I can't wait till today. Right? So I try to espouse that into my own organization that people feel wanted, they feel heard, they feel acknowledged, and most importantly, they feel seen. And that's what me that's what being a CEO means to me.

[00:14:29.89] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I definitely appreciate that perspective and that culture that you get to create. So many times we forget that, we always wanna create that culture, but a lot of times it starts with us. And to be able to have that impact upon ourselves and our lives, and it starts to showcase itself and the people that we're working with, the culture and the community and the environment that we create is so huge because that's when you really start to make an impact, not just for ourselves, but the people and the families of the people and so on and so forth.

[00:14:53.60] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Absolutely. And that's what it's about is that, I want anyone that comes into my presence, they feel better or they do better or they are better because they had a moment of allowing me to touch their life.

[00:15:06.00] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Well, you definitely did that for us today, doctor Danny. So I truly appreciate all the awesome work that you're doing. I appreciate your time as well. What I wanted to do was pass you the mic, so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional that you want to let our readers and listeners know, and, of course, how best they can get a hold of you and find out about all the awesome things you're working on.

[00:15:22.00] – Dr. Janie Lacy

Yep. Absolutely. So if anyone wants to follow me across social media, I'm at janie lacy in all the social media platforms. And I have janielacy.com, life counselingsolutions.com. At the end of this month, I'm releasing my, digital course, Woman Redeemed. It's a step-by-step game plan to end toxic relational patterns. I'm gonna have some lives and masterminds across that, so if anyone is interested in that. And then, my show, Let's Talk About It with Jamie Lacy, also kicks off at the end of this month, and I have some for some, celebrity guests already booked. Grant Cardone, Chris Winfield, Jen Gottlieb, Mattel Williams. So I have some, some great things coming up this month. So follow me and, be along on the journey with me.

[00:16:01.39] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Thank you so much, doctor Danny. We will have those links and information in the show notes as well too for the podcast and in the course and all the awesome things that you're they're working on. But I appreciate you so much for for bringing us so much light and and positivity and energy into, this podcast and this show. I appreciate you so much, and I hope you have a great rest of the day.

[00:16:17.60] – Intro

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes Google Play and everywhere you listen to podcasts, SUBSCRIBE, and leave us a five-star rating grab CEO gear at www.ceogear.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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