IAM2001- The Essential Role of Mental Resilience in Overcoming Challenges

Life is known to throw a curveball or two at unexpected times. Just as we think we have everything figured out, an unforeseen challenge arises its head, totally overturning our plans.

This is a regular occurrence in the world of entrepreneurship. However, many are of the ethos that overcoming these setbacks and emerging stronger is what truly characterizes the spirit of an entrepreneur.

In this episode, the theme of resilience is inspired by an insightful dialogue between Jason Wrobel, Gresham Harkless, and Whitney Lauritsen.

Life's unpredictability is not just a rhetorical statement but a reality that every entrepreneur should be ready to shoulder. He stated that while these unexpected trials have the potential to be our greatest teachers, they often cast us into moments of self-doubt and depression.

However, these setbacks could also be the impetus for growth if dealt with the right mindset.

Episode Link: gresh-is-featured-on-this-might-get-uncomfortable-podcast

Gresham Harkless Teaser 00:00

I want to really start something. So I want to make, take bold action and it didn't go according to plan at all. It was one of the darker moments that I think I've had, but now I can say going years forward that it actually was something that I needed to have happened.

I say I'm hardheaded enough that if probably if I didn't tear my Achilles tendon, I would have been bouncing around doing a bunch of different things.

Intro 00:20

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business from awesome CEOs? Entrepreneurs and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview?

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Jason Wrobel 00:47

So as you're recovering, as you're getting your strength back, how did that process inform you as an entrepreneur, as a man to face the uncertainty and the pain and the suffering that is inevitably going to find us all in life? How did that set you up for, for being more resilient?

I don't want to use the word tougher, but being more resilient and trusting. That yeah, I can make it through this darkness and find the light on the other side of it.

Gresham Harkless 01:12

Yeah, I think that's a great question. And as you said, the process was definitely, I didn't tear my Achilles completely, so I didn't have to have surgery, but I still had to have the cast, cast after cast, going through PT, learning how to walk again.

I remember even figuring out how to take my toes and pick up marbles and move them from side to side. Just all those things you take for granted, you start to really appreciate all the things that you're able to do on a regular basis.

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And I always bring myself back there to understand even the process of everything, because I think especially with starting a business or just anything in life, it's what I tell myself all the time.

It's a marathon, and I try not to get caught up in. You want to make sure you're saying focus on the day-to-day, but you don't want to get so caught up in where you're going to be or trying to move too fast to where you cheat yourself of the process, but also maybe even stir up a lot of that frustration on things not moving as fast as you want them to go.

So for me, that time was really that me realizing that no matter how much I wanted to start walking again, I had to remove one cast to get another cast. I had to learn how to get to one crutch and another, and it's just a whole entire process. So you can't really treat that process.

So for me, it made me kind of respect the process to do anything whether it be starting a business or learning a new skill or a hobby or whatever it might be, that I have to really get present with that. And of course, it's always a process that I have to really learn from. But it's something that I always go back to that moment because I took a lot of things for granted because you just assumed everything was going to go the way that you want them to go.

And when they didn't, go the way you want them to go. That's when you really find out like who you are. That's when you get to that resilience of that mental toughness because things will not go 100 percent how you want them to go. But how are you going to react to that? And that's something that I challenged myself.

And if I ever get in that place, I say, okay, You did the Achilles. You were able to get through that. You were able to get through the physical part, but also the mental part of being stuck in bed and not being able to get your own food and things like that. So you can get through a lot if you're able to get through that.

Jason Wrobel 03:22

Sometimes in life, I think it's more important to play at your own pace. And so I'm wondering if that Mentality still translates in your business right now as an entrepreneur, where you play at your own pace and you don't get caught up in the stuff that you see on social media about people telling you how to run your business or how you should do your promotions.

How do you find your lane and how did you find your lane amidst all that noise? Cause it's so easy to get caught up in the noise.

Gresham Harkless 03:48

Yeah, I think that's a very valid point. And even like during, when I tore my Achilles, one of the things that I wanted to remind myself of is I started to get. Pardon to some degree, like even as I was recovering, like I had, my friend had a wedding and it was in New York and they were like, Oh, you're not going to come to the wedding because I know you tore your Achilles.

I said, no, I'm coming to this wedding. And I'm literally on crutches on the bus, taking that five-hour bus ride to do that. So as you said, the lemon, I guess the lemon juice that was in me was just like, This hurts. This sucks. But I want to try to not have it dictate my life. And that's what kind of came out of me from that.

And that's how I've tried to approach things in my life. I think so many times, especially when you're younger, you start to see or believe that you should be X, Y and Z or A, B and C because so and so says that or because everybody's doing that. Whether we're talking about You being on social media channels, or this is how you should run your business or you need to be a speaker or whatever that might be, however, that manifests itself for me, I'm a big believer in when you're young and when I'm talking about young, I'm talking about really young.

A lot of times there are seeds planted of who you are and what makes you who you are. So I always go back to that. I always go back to I started a family newspaper when I was like 10 years old, my dad went TDY, he was in the military. So. I like creating and writing and doing all those things. And that's something I always went back to when I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be and who I was.

Whitney Lauritse 05:15

I love that. It's so incredibly important. And I'm curious, what is your process for tuning into yourself? Because that's something that I'm constantly reflecting on. I think it's a long process to understand ourselves and who we are because we have to brush away, chip away. dig away at all these different elements of ourselves and all these layers that we've accumulated over time.

And I find that many of those layers are other people's influences or society's influences, right? We have so many things at play. So I'm curious, what has that process been for you, Gresham, as you've Tried to really figure out who you are so that you can be in alignment.

Gresham Harkless 05:59

Yeah, I think it's always-evolving process.

I almost feel like you never really truly feel like you understand all the different aspects of yourself. But for me, a lot of it is just trying things, trying different things. Like I mentioned, when seeing what works and what doesn't work for me has been absolutely huge, but I'm. maniacal about understanding myself, taking the Myers Briggs test, all of these different kind of personality tests just to try to get an idea of who you are.

But I think what makes it probably a little bit more difficult is we're evolving just like businesses, just like life itself. We're changing and evolving too. So something that I might not have liked 10 years ago, I might love now. But I think really drilling down and working and for me, it's just absolutely trying things and seeing what works and what doesn't work is what helps me to understand that.

But I always try to get really, really, alone or in a quiet space to really. question myself and meditate on different things that I'm trying or different things that might be certain ideas. Because I think when I do that, it gets a little less noisy. You don't take away the history or the culture or all of those aspects.

But I think when you get really quiet and you're by yourself to some degree, you have only yourself to answer to. And I think when you're able to do that, it allows that to happen. So that's usually kind of like what I go through. It's not like very, very structured. And, but I feel like It's something that has helped guide me to where I am now.

It doesn't mean that everything I do is completely in alignment, but I'm always trying to get more and more in alignment, trying to fulfill my goals and my aspirations and my gifts on an even deeper level. That's

Whitney Lauritse 07:42

Awesome. And so I'm interested in what you drew from Myers Briggs and how it plays a role in your life and.

As part of this conversation for each of us, really reflecting on the reasons we're drawn to personality tests and are they really telling us the truth or are they giving us another label that might even not be something that benefits us? That's a big question I'm asking myself.

Gresham Harkless 08:07

Yeah, I think that's a really valid question.

I haven't heard of that, but I'm definitely going to check it out now. And I almost feel like for me, the personality test has been a way that I use. And I understand myself to know where my, I guess my zone is my zone of genius, so to speak, and where I use it more. So as a tool, not as a box. And I think for a lot of things, especially we can talk about tests.

We could talk about educational tests. There are a lot of biases that go into the people that create those. And I think that we have to look at those things. But I think a lot of times people use Tests in order to place people in boxes or say somebody can't do X, Y and Z, and they don't have a kind of a holistic look at what it takes to build a team or maybe run a business or to do it on a great level, at least I should say, or an impactful level.

And I think so many times people will manipulate things in order to have what they consider to be their goal, their personal prerogative, whatever that might be. They're going to use a test. They're saying, okay, this person is an introvert, so I don't want to hire introvert. So I'm going to use that as a reason for not hiring that person without drilling down and actually getting to know that person.

So for me, personality tests are simply And it's not just one. So Myers Briggs was one. There's another one called true colors. There's a lot of different ones. I personally have used it as a way to see myself and understand my tendencies, not to put myself in a box, but more so understand, like, how can I respect my strengths and my understandings, but know how somebody else who's completely different, not.

wouldn't jive with me, but actually could compliment me and can create a more holistic and stronger team. So I almost am attracted to people who are different more so because that provides an opportunity for us to grow strong together rather than people saying, which is often what happens, I think, in a lot of businesses and organizations.

And I see it a lot in sports as well, too, is where we get this kind of. I want to be around people that look like me, that talk like me, that think like me, because I want to be comfortable rather than, okay, I want to actually grow and be better and make a bigger impact. So I use these sets to get around people who are actually not like me so that I can grow as a person where iron sharpens iron.

So that's what I feel overall, but that's interesting. I definitely want to check that out for sure.

Jason Wrobel 10:27

I think it's interesting. I suppose this is for both of you, Gresham and Whitney, without getting that praise from external sources, how do we keep ourselves moving forward and growing with all of that alone time, with all of that doubt that creeps in, with all of that, what the hell am I even doing anymore?

Because I have so many moments like that, where I'm just like, what in the hell am I doing? And I lose my faith in what I'm doing. So without that pat on the back and the cookie, how do both of you keep yourselves going?

Gresham Harkless 10:55

For me, it's so funny. I guess she said that because I haven't read. I've been looking a lot for this.

There is this concept and I don't it's called like the dark side and I think it all taps into like how and what motivates you. I think sometimes people get motivated and I don't think there's enough about. At least I couldn't Google and find enough about the dark side. And sometimes getting motivated from negative things, you hear it a lot in sports, like you definitely hear Tom Brady, he's whatever one 98 or whatever number he was.

So he's always having that chip on his shoulder to try to show people that he's better. That's something that I don't think necessarily works for everybody, but I find that works for me. So, but it's a very, it's a balance being because you don't want to get too much in the dark side where you're filling yourself up with such negativity that you start to believe it and you start to go off the deep end and don't really focus on what.

You're ultimately trying to do. But I think for me, it's happening is that's a try to prove to other people, which again, you don't want to be so outwardly focused that you're losing sight of why you're doing what you're doing. But if you can tap into who you are, what you do, what your goal is, what your gift is, and you can revert that energy, that frustration, that pain, whatever it is into those positive things, and you can show to people and.

Maybe not face to face, but just doing it just for validation that, Hey, I did this. I think that has helped me out tremendously, but I think too, I just started to read a lot. I read a lot of people that were successful in how I considered them successful and realized that it wasn't a straight line and it didn't happen overnight.

And even though when I first started, I said. It didn't happen for them, but it's going to happen for me. I'm going to do it overnight. I didn't do it overnight and I'm still working on it. So just understanding that the process, the grind of what it takes to get there, the marathon, as I always say, it's something that I try to remind myself of.

And if I ever get in that dark space and I don't know what to do, I also try to look at people that have been successful. And what that process is and I think on my show so many times I'll ask people like to hop in a time machine and talk to their younger business. So the question the answer I would always have is let yourself know that it's not a straight line because I think so many times.

You quit before things start before things can really get good because you think that it's a straight line. And as soon as you hit some type of turbulence or adversity, you think that you failed, but you haven't failed. You can still keep going just as so and so did. But if we don't hear those stories, we don't know about that.

Then a lot of times we think that we should throw in a towel before we even just getting started.

Whitney Lauritse 13:30

I love that. And that's absolutely true. Really, it's rare that results happen that fast. How could you possibly just judge whether something's right for you or whether something's going to lead to success in such a short amount of time?

So I think what you're saying, Gresham, is so incredibly important to this conversation. And we have to constantly remind ourselves of this, even though we might know it on a logical level, emotionally, we need the reminder.

Jason Wrobel 13:56

It's what comes up for me in this conversation to Whitney of consistency and doing the same things over and over and over and over again.

God, who was it? Was it Winston Churchill? I might be totally making this up. No, I think it was. He said Success is moving from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

Whitney Lauritse 14:20

Gresham, without throwing anyone under the bus, I'm really curious. With you doing so many podcast episodes with people in the CEO space, Do you hear a lot of cliche statements and how often do you, for lack of a better term, like disagree with somebody, but you're respectful cause they have a different perspective than you, but you know, you must attract a lot of people that are conditioned to say a lot of these statements about success that maybe they just heard from somebody and they feel like that's the right thing to podcast or is it completely different?

Do you find that people are actually very self-aware and saying unique things and not those cliches.

Gresham Harkless 15:07

Yeah, I think it definitely depends and I won't throw anybody under the bus for sure. And it just, I think I'm a marketing guy. So hearing a lot of other marketing people, often you'll hear a lot of those things as well, too, where I think, and I usually try to do my part.

Granted, it's a laser-focused interviews, but yeah, I think people sometimes. They say things that will attract people, and I understand that from a marketing perspective, but I feel like it, it's doing such a disservice to people that are starting businesses that have really great ideas that think that they're gonna be successful in a year or in 30 minutes.

And I just, I try to redirect that as much as possible when I hear it, or try to pull as much information that I can so that people can understand that it isn't a marathon.

Whitney Lauritse 15:53

Thank you for doing that. Shows a lot of integrity.

Jason Wrobel 15:56

And it's just been a really wonderful exploration with you, man. Thank you for taking the time today.

Thank you for riding the waves of the technical difficulties and just being with us and sharing your story and who you are, it's been really delightful.

Whitney Lauritse 16:08

Yeah, we loved having you and thank you for being such a positive influence in this space.

Gresham Harkless 16:13

Absolutely. I appreciate, getting the opportunity to be on as well.

Outro 16:16

Thank you for listening to the I Am CEO podcast powered by CB Nation and Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at imceo.co. I Am CEO is not just a phrase. It's a community.

Want to level up your business even more read blogs, listen to podcasts and watch videos at CBNation.co Also, check out our I Am CEO Facebook group.

This has been the I Am CEO podcast with Gresham Harkless Jr. Thank you for listening.

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