IAM815- Coach Educates People on the Power of the Mind and Radical Self Love

Intro 0:02
Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups, and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you’ve come to the right place, Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you’re in search of. This is the I am CEO podcast.

Gresham Harkless 0:29
Hello, hello, hello, this is Gresh on the I am CEO podcast and have a very special guest on the show today have Tiffany tombs of Blue Lotus mind, Tiffany saw some heavy on show.

Tiffany Toombs 0:38
Thanks for having me. I'm excited.

Gresham Harkless 0:40
No problem excited as well to have you on and before we jumped in, I want to read a little bit more about Tiffany so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. And you may know Tiffany as the international speaker and leading expert on rewiring the unconscious mind for success and tapping into your personal potential. For over 20 years, Tiffany has educated and transformed the lives of thousands of people across the world. She is the author of stop being a selfish bitch, a comprehensive guide to living your best life through radical self love, a top rated self help book, Tiffany's clients and course participants experienced undeniable results showcasing over and over again that our unconscious mind can be our most powerful asset. When we truly understand how to make it work for us, Tiffany, are you ready to speak to the imcl? community?

Tiffany Toombs 1:21
Let's do it.

Gresham Harkless 1:22
Let's do it. So to kick everything off, I know that session a little bit. But I want to hear a little bit more on how you got started. Can you take us through what I call your CEO story, we'll let you get started.

Tiffany Toombs 1:31
Yeah, so I've been coaching since I was 14. So I started out in the fitness industry and even back then my goal was to help people be more comfortable in their skin. And I thought that the way that we could ultimately bring out people's power and their confidence was through fitness, which definitely is a piece of the puzzle. After I finished university, I moved down to Australia, I had plans to backpack for like six months to a year stayed for eight. And it was really an awakening period. For me, I hit rock bottom. And everything I kind of thought I knew about the world was broken apart for me to really step into who I am. So growing up, I was actually abused by my step mom growing up, she would lock me in closets for me with curling irons. When I was seven, she threatened to leave me on the side of the road on the outskirts of the city that I'm from for a stranger to come and kill. And the last time that I saw her she the last time that I saw her she was threatening to kidnap me so that my family would never see me again. And so what what happened was I developed all of these belief systems about what my worth was. And I developed all these belief systems around not being not being safe standing out the abuse would really happen whenever I was getting the attention and she wasn't. And so it caused me to really like shrink back in myself and settle in relationships settle in business partnerships, I got into business with a couple narcissists in Australia was dating one at the same time. So my life was just like full of all of this chaos. And so on the day that the day I found out I was pregnant, was the day I found out my boyfriend had a girlfriend in another state and life slowly started to crumble, it was like brick by brick started falling down, I found out that my ex my now ex was a compulsive liar. And most of what I thought was true in our three years together was a lie. And then I lost the baby. And so that really, that really brought me to my knees. And at one point I was suicidal, and then considered ending it all that was the only way that I could see really letting go of all of this pain. And so it was that kind of healing journey that led me to realizing how small I had been playing that I had been settling in every area of my life. It showed me the power of the mind. I went through years and thousands of dollars of trying to heal all of this stuff. And it wasn't until I found NLP that in hypnosis that I really started to change. I worked with therapists, I went to seminars, you know, the kind where you like dance, and there's loud music and lots of high fives and hugs and lots of energy. So you feel awesome there and then you leave. And you realize you haven't really changed. You don't you don't really have any tools, hired coaches. And overwhelmingly they all told me like you can't change the past. So we just have to focus on the future, which is what I done my entire life. And it made me a perfectionist and a people pleaser and an overachiever. And I've had some glimpses of success, but nothing that was sustainable. And so when I understood how my mind worked and started to reprogram it to work for me and to let go of all Have that stuff from my past to see that none of that determined my worth or my ability to be safe and secure, then life completely changed. And so I also discovered that I had a knack for it for helping other people with those tools. And that's where the Blue Lotus MIND Institute was born.

Gresham Harkless 5:16
Wow, obviously, I'm sorry to you know that you went through all of that. But it sounds like you've been able to kind of take those experiences, and not only help yourself and help out so many other people, because you've been able to kind of harness as you said, in touch on the power of the mind and how we can sometimes, you know, direct and determine your altitude and where you can go in your life.

Tiffany Toombs 5:35
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, as painful as those experiences were at the time, I wouldn't if I could go back in a time machine and change any of them I wouldn't. Because I learned so much about myself so much about what I'm capable of so much about what it means to be compassionate and empathetic, both to yourself and to others. I mean, the lessons that I got from that time were endless, and they've helped me build a business. They've helped me help other people. They've helped me in my marriage, my now marriage, they've helped me in like, every aspect of my life, so I wouldn't change any of it.

Gresham Harkless 6:11
Yeah, absolutely. And I can't imagine too, that you know, whenever anybody's going through difficult, frustrating and hopeless times, it feels like, you kind of feel like you're by yourself. And I think that hearing your story, and I appreciate you being so you know, transparent about everything that you went through, because I think it reminds us sometimes when our we have our frustrations, those really low lows, and we feel like there's no way out, we hear somebody that's able to overcome, and now you know, be able to kind of learn some of the tools that help you to be able to do that, then it gives us hope, when we're in those kind of frustrating and this, you know, desperate times unfortunate kind of situation. So I know you touched on it a little bit, can you take us through a little bit more on how you work with your clients with Blue Lotus mines and exactly what that process looks like? Yeah, so

Tiffany Toombs 6:53
there's a couple of different ways that we work together. So if they come to me one on one, and typically the people that I work with our one on one are stuck in some form of self sabotage, they have imposter syndrome. They are, you know, hitting against the glass ceiling, whether that's financially within their company, whatever it is, but they just feel stuck. Like they feel like there is more capability within them, there's more potential, there's more ability. And they just can't quite find that next level. And so when they come to me, what we look at is, what are the things that are holding you back. So most people don't realize that 95% of the limiting beliefs will all beliefs, but even the limiting beliefs that we have now as adults, were planted in the mind between the ages of zero and seven. So before we really fully understood what the world was about, we developed all these belief systems like I had for so long. And I mean, I couldn't even 10 years ago, I couldn't even call into a radio station or request a song, nevermind, hop on a podcast interview with somebody. Because my belief was that it just wasn't safe to stand out that it wasn't safe to be in the spotlight. Never mind sharing my story in my book and on my podcast, and why not? So it, we look at what are those seeds that were planted back in childhood, and everyone's like, Oh, this is so cliche, but the truth is like, you know, it's cliche, because that's how we're all programmed, we all get our belief systems from somewhere. And for a while, I was actually an accountability coach, and I hated it. Because it was like glorified babysitting. If you come to me with a goal that you can't hit, I can put together the plan for you, I can hold you accountable to hitting deadlines, but ultimately, then you always need me to get to that goal. And what I was finding when I was doing the accountability work was that maybe you would just start taking action naturally in your business, but that procrastination or that fear would shift to another part of your life. So now, you procrastinated on going to the gym, or on doing food prep, or I'm paying your bills on time. And so behavior didn't fully ever go away, when I discovered the tools that I have now, and I can both educate people and help them get rid of those beliefs for good, the behavior just changes and you don't have this internal battle going on anymore. So it's kind of like if your mind was a garden, rather than just going to the weeds and like snipping the stem where it hits the hits the the dirt, and so your garden looks nice for a day or two, but then those are going to pop back up. Now we pull it out by the by the route, we fit, we go back to that first event, using a little bit of meditation. And we change the perspective of that first event. And this is the closest thing that we can do to rewriting our past. Can we hop in a time machine and go back and change it? No. But can we change our perception of that and allow that to change our reality now? Yes.

Gresham Harkless 9:41
I wanted to ask you for your secret sauce. And do you feel like the ability to be able to kind of see that or maybe help people to see that is what you feel kind of sets you apart and makes you unique?

Tiffany Toombs 9:50
The thing that probably makes me different is that I can take these complex neuroscience concepts and break it down into pieces, creating analogies, whatever that Everybody can understand. So whether I'm going into a corporate space, and I'm doing training there for them to develop their soft skills more, or I'm working with somebody one on one or group of clients all at once, it's helping them be able to have their own aha moment. I think there's plenty of coaches out there who love to tell you the challenge. My preference is to ask questions to lead you to having that aha moment on your own. So that you have the you see that you have the power in you to a figure out what your challenges, and then you're empowered to change it, because I've given you the tools, ultimately, I don't want my aim is to make my clients corporate or one on one, to be totally self sufficient to have all the tools that they need that yeah, I mean, they can drop me a line and ask me questions and whatnot. But I don't want people to have to have sessions with me regularly. So one on one, I work with people for eight sessions, and 99% of my clients, that's it. After the eight sessions, like now we're friends, but they move on to their next thing. And the reason that I want to do that my mentors are like, this is not a good business model, you're essentially always having to hunt for your food. And I'm like, I know. And, like, I'm legitimately here to make a change. And if I, I can only have so many clients who want to talk to me every month. So if I want to empower a million people will then I need to let them go. And so I would say that's what probably makes me the most different.

Gresham Harkless 11:28
So we love that. And so I wanted to switch gears a little bit. And I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO hack. So this could be like an app or book or a habit that you have. But what's something that makes you more effective and efficient?

Tiffany Toombs 11:38
I would say regular self reflection has been what has allowed me to have a quite a lot of amount of success in a very short time is that I take time after everything that I do. I asked myself two questions. First one, and I always start with this one. What did I do really well. And it's important that we start there, because it's really easy to pick everything apart and be really critical. It's not so easy to look at what we did well. And so when we celebrate our wins, I know that it actually activates the reward circuit in the brain, we get that hit of dopamine, which is what we get when we work out or you know, we eat sugar. And that hit of dopamine strengthens the pathway in the mind to do more of the same action. So firstly, what did I do really well? And then secondly, where can I improve next time? What would I like to get better at not? What did I do terrible? What was my weakness even in like a SWOT analysis, I don't even talk about weaknesses. I talk about areas for improvement, because language matters. And so if I'm talking about this is what I'm bad at or this is my weakness, then it's always going to feel gross to work on that area. So what is it that I want to improve on? And those two questions have allowed me to level up and grow. And

Gresham Harkless 12:55
I want to ask you now for what I call a CEO nugget. And this could be a word of wisdom or piece of advice. I know we referenced kind of jumping back into this time machine. But it might also be something you would tell your younger business self or potentially a client.

Tiffany Toombs 13:08
The hustle and grind mentality is not the way to success would be the nugget,

Gresham Harkless 13:13
I wanted to ask you now my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. And we're hoping to have different quote unquote, CEOs on the show. So Tiffany, what does being a CEO means you?

Tiffany Toombs 13:22
I think for me, a CEO means being the most authentic and genuine leader that we're capable of being and like leading from the front being a conduit to bring out other people's potential. I think that true leaders who ultimately find lasting success are the ones whose name goes down in the history books. They're the ones who understand when to push, and when to just let be. They're the ones who know the questions to ask. And, you know, when when to give a little bit more information. And so for me, it's really about leading from the front showing people what's possible, being able to be vulnerable enough to share like, Hey, this is what I'm going through, as I'm going through it instead of, Oh, well, three years ago, this is this is what happened for me, but nobody knew. And then really just empowering the people around them to tap into whatever their strengths and their superpowers are.

Gresham Harkless 14:20
definitely appreciate you for that definition. Appreciate you for doing it as well. What I want to do is pass you the mic so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional, you can let our readers and listeners know and of course, how best they can overview, listen to the podcast, get a copy of the book and find out about all the awesome things you're doing.

Tiffany Toombs 14:34
Awesome. So I would say like my parting wisdom, I guess would be that we have so much more power than we even realize one of my favorite quotes comes from Thomas Edison that if we were to truly do what we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves. And so I know that you know, the traditional method of smart goals. The army is realistic, but I want you to start letting go of the need to be real Because it was once upon a time not realistic to think that I could be talking to somebody anywhere in the world and see them and have this conversation and this conversation then be broadcast to people all over the world. So the the people who have truly changed the shape of society as we know it are the people who were unwilling to accept what was realistic. So be willing to let go of that need to put a ceiling on what you can achieve, to see what you what your true potential is. And you can get you can go to my website. So my corporate website is EP e p consulting firm.com, or my, my more coaching website, which is Blue Lotus, mind calm. And my podcast is called take the leap. It's available on all the platforms, and my book is available on Amazon, it'll be easier for you to find if you go if you search my name.

Gresham Harkless 15:50
Awesome, awesome, awesome. And to make it even easier, we'll have the links and information in the show notes for the books, podcasts, and all the awesome things that you're doing. But I appreciate you reminding us as that of that as well, too. Because I think kind of being realistic sometimes robs us personally, but the world of some of the biggest inventions and impactful things that can be created. And I think those are the people that aren't realistic, that create new inventions and new things that have us connecting and having this podcast interview and taking things to an entirely different level. So I appreciate that reminder, I appreciate your time and again, I hope you have a great rest.

Outro 16:22
Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at IAMCEO.CO. I am CEO is not just a phrase, it’s a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and everywhere you listen to podcasts. Subscribe and leave us a five-star rating. Grab CEO gear a www.CEOgear.co This has been the I AM CEO podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.