IAM1143- Coach Helps Partners Deeply Connect With One Another

For over thirty years, Julie Schmit has been professionally coaching others as an energy healer. In 2018, she became a fully licensed marriage & family therapist. Julie helps people and their partners deeply connect with one another without defenses or inhibitions through her scientific and practical approach to intimacy. She offers Couple’s Energy Coaching, Private Coaching, and Group Programs. When she’s not working with clients or students, you can find her savoring ice cream on a patio with her husband, or playing at a local dog park with her puppy, Louie.

• CEO Hack: Book- The War of Art
• CEO Nugget: Life doesn't get easier, it gets better
• CEO Defined: Freedom to not compromise integrity

Website: https://boldandsacred.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boldandsacred/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boldandsacred

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Transcription

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00:15 – Intro

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO podcast.

00:43 – Gresham Harkless

Hello. Hello. Hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast. I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Julie Schmidt of Bold and Sacred. Julie, it's great to have you on the show.

00:52 – Julie Schmit

Hey, Grash, so great to be here.

00:54 – Gresham Harkless

Super excited to have you on. And before we jump in, I'm gonna read a little bit more about Julie so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. For over 30 years, Julie has been professionally coaching others as energy healers, as an energy healer. In 2018, she became a fully licensed marriage and family therapist.

Julie helps people and their partners deeply connect with one another without defenses or inhibitions through her scientific and practical approach to intimacy. She offers couples energy coaching, private coaching, and group programs. And when she's not working with clients or students, she can find herself savoring ice cream on a patio with her husband or playing at a local dog park with her puppy, Louie. Julie, great to have you on the show. Are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

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01:36 – Julie Schmit

I'm so excited.

01:39 – Gresham Harkless

I'm excited as well too. And just reading your bio seems like you have the key to life, so I think I need to do the same thing, spending time at the dog park. And of course, eating ice cream sounds like a really great thing to do.

01:49 – Julie Schmit

That's what it comes down to puppies and ice cream.

01:52 – Gresham Harkless

There we go that's the key to life so we'll drop the mic from there but I wanted to hear how you got to you know do all the awesome things you're doing so can we rewind the clock and hear a little bit more about what I call your CEO story with let's get started with everything.

02:04 – Julie Schmit

Sure. Yeah. So, you know, the Cliff Notes version of my story is that I've always had this running question, who am I? And I was adopted as a baby. So with this running question, I had this insatiable need to find my biological mother. So I just always wanted to connect with other people. And I had this picture kind of like a Disney movie almost of like what family would be. So I just wanted to have like deep and meaningful conversations and feel heard and validated and just this like sense of belonging.

And even though my adoptive parents were amazing, I still had like all these questions about myself. And I just, you know, I had like all these hopes and dreams, like what this other family would be like. So long story short, I found my biological mother and her children when I was 20 at a time, you know, in the 1980s, long before DNA testing and when adoption records were sealed. So they were closed. It was a rare experience to embark on this journey back then. And I had no guidebook for before, during, or after. I just got into this experience.

Through that experience, I got all my questions answered about my biology and the circumstances for being relinquished for adoption. But I still had this longing for people in my life who I could genuinely feel connected to. I just had this desire to be met with curiosity compassion and empathy. And then by this time, having gone through that whole experience of searching for my biological family, I was kind of terrified of intimacy because it was rough and I still had this longing. So it's kind of like this dilemma. I want something and now I'm terrified.

So that kind of brings me to what I do today is I help people who are longing for intimacy, but at the same time through, you know, things that have happened or, you know, whether it's bad dates or, you know, the past just like move forward with a transformative like experience. What saved me back then was I did finally find people that I could connect with. I got very involved with the yoga community in Southern California in the 80s. It was there that I learned all about energy healing spirituality and the body-mind connection.

And once my money ran out, I moved back to Minneapolis where I'm from and I tried working in the corporate sector, but I just didn't feel inspired. I just felt kind of awkward. So while I was waiting tables, just trying to pay off my credit card bills, I wound up being discovered by a local football coach. This coach, he, you know, was actually kind of interested in what I did to stay in shape. And I told him I just did yoga all the time. And he said, you know, hey, I have this team. Do you mind coming in and teaching my football team yoga? And I was like, okay. So there I was. It was seriously one of the most fun experiences of my life.

I'm there with 18 to 22-year-old boys who are kind of bouncing off the walls. And I teach them this yoga class and at the end of the class there was this sense of calm and peace and gratitude and it was just you know they were like namaste. I was like oh I want to bring that to the world. So you know and that was Minnesota in 1991 very few people had heard of yoga or took it seriously. So I had the opportunity to pioneer something new.

I then went to study at a school in New York to study energy healing. And I started creating programs for the University of Minnesota with their dance department and their theater department. And I worked with the Gopher football team for 6 seasons. And I went to massage school and I was teaching human anatomy and yoga teacher training programs. And I was just kind of jamming along. But I still had that, you know, the body, the spirit, but I didn't have like all the like research and you know, that the mind piece.

So then I went and got my master's degree in marriage and family therapy. So, you know, flash forward to today at Bold and Sacred, I've got the 3 pieces, the body, mind, and spirit. And I've got my couples and individual coaching programs that utilize the principles of energy healing. So that's like I said, the Cliff Notes version and the overarching arc of how I got here today.

07:34 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So I wanted to drill down a little bit more. I know you touched a little bit more on how you work with your clients. So I wanted to see if there's anything additional you can provide for us there so we can learn a little bit more about that and what you feel kind of even sets you apart is what I like to call your secrets. Awesome, makes you unique.

07:49 – Julie Schmit

Okay. So, you know, like I said, like with my clients, whether they're couples or individuals, I work with transformation. So, you know, learning how to like express themselves openly and confidently. You know, people who are like, like just automatically say yes, to avoid the stress of disappointing another, you know, sometimes it's almost like a reflex, you know, you know, in, in the industry called boundary setting, but you know, sometimes it's not even that it's just like, you're so used to saying yes or saying yes, it's almost like swatting a mosquito, like somebody's asking you something and you're just like, Yes.

And then it's like, oh, great. Now I have to clean this up. I also work a lot with people who feel the need to prove themselves, to feel good about themselves. Like I have to do XYZ, and then I can feel good about myself as opposed to waking up in the morning and just being like, yeah, I feel good about myself. It's like this inherent feeling of self-worth. I help people who are denying, avoiding, or resisting their need for pleasure, including sex. It's kind of like you have like a to-do list and that's like the last thing. Like I get all these, you know, boxes checked, then I can do this.

Or, you know, like, we're so trained, like, in this country especially, like, we can't, we can't mix things up. Like, it can't be a pleasurable experience to walk the dog. We're always just like, okay, I gotta get this done. Either or, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I help people with that. I offer free calls and free 30-minute calls. I just want people to come with like one question that they have and I will give them one actionable step. And, you know, any questions about my program I offer, you know, those free calls to answer those questions, anything that somebody's challenged with.

When it comes to intimacy and connection with your partner, whether it's the communication, it's like we're having these communication breakdowns, I can bring in like energy work to help with that, as well as couples coaching. And the same thing with, you know, just like moving on after the kids are left, you know, have left. My husband and I are gonna be experiencing an emptiness syndrome pretty soon as my daughter's getting ready to go away to college. You know, a lot of couples are like, now what? Now we have to actually plan and talk to each other. So I help, you know, people through those transitions.

And you know, what I think makes me unique is that not only, you know, my very like tapestry of experience, but I'm funny. Like I use humor to provide levity, you know, because talking about yourself and, you know, transforming yourself or your relationships can be really heavy. And I bring in whether it's stories that are funny or just kind of like observational humor, like don't you just hate that when, you know? So, you know, that's one thing that makes me unique is the humor piece.

11:21 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So I wanted to switch gears a little bit. And I want to ask you for what I call a CEO hack. So this could be like an Apple book or a habit that you have. But what's something that makes you more effective and efficient?

11:33 – Julie Schmit

It makes me, it's a mindset book. So 2 books, The War of Art. I don't know if you've read it, but, and I like quick reads, let's just get to the down and dirty. And so a lot of times, especially, you know, because I'm always like creating something new, the imposter system syndrome kicks in, like, who am I to do this? You know, where do I have the audacity to, you know, work with this, that, and the other thing?

And even if I have done all this, like education and experience, and I have a resume, that just like that feeling and in my gut, like I shouldn't be doing this. And so the book, The War of Art, it talks about, you know, like that's just a function of being human Like everybody has that. Also the 4 agreements.

I just, love the part about not taking things personally. You know, it's like kind of the catch-22 about being like a sensitive empathic person. You know, if somebody or something doesn't work out to just it's they got their own thing, they got their own thing happening, you know, so it's just like these quick reminders. When I hit those 2 dead ends that are my basic life hacks.

12:46 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So I wanted to ask you now for what I call a CEO nugget. So this could be a word of wisdom or a piece of advice. It might be something you would tell a client or if you have to do a time machine, you might tell your younger business self.

12:59 – Julie Schmit

Okay, so 2 things. One is a little more kind of, I don't know, experiential. So when you, when a person embarks on the path of awareness, introspection, insights, and healing, Just know that life doesn't get easier. It just gets better. You know, there's this expectation. It's like, well, why do I still have problems? Well, it's because you're in a body, you're alive. But you're surrounded by people who just provide, it's like a cushy marshmallow or something. It's like, you get to melt into this relationship. So life gets so much better.

13:42 – Gresham Harkless

Absolutely appreciate that quote. And so I want to ask you now my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. We're hoping to have different quote-unquote CEOs on the show. So Julie, what does being a CEO mean to you?

13:55 – Julie Schmit

You know, and I've listened to a lot of your podcasts. So a lot of us, we say freedom, But it's not only like the freedom to like your own schedule and you're your own boss, but and I don't know, maybe you can turn this around to like, I just know, I'll tell you like an experience. So like when I like to dip my toe in and work for other people, it's the incongruence of receiving an angry email and then having to sign the birthday card. So how would you, I guess it's authenticity and not having the expectations of compromising integrity. So, you know, it's just, it's the freedom to not even like being put in that position.

14:59 – Gresham Harkless

Truly appreciate that definition, Julie. And I appreciate your time even more. What I wanted to do is just pass you the mic, so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional that you can let our readers and listeners know, and of course, how best they can get ahold of you and find out about all the awesome things you're working on.

15:13 – Julie Schmit

Cool. Okay, So the best way to get ahold of me is through my website, boldandsacred.com and you know, follow me on social at Bold and Sacred. I help intuitive business people and their partners deeply connect without defenses or inhibitions so they can share the joy of being alive.

15:42 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I absolutely love that. We will definitely have the links and information in the show notes. I love that last piece that you say to really enjoy the experience of being alive because I think so many times we can go, go, go and not enjoy the present as we kind of talked about but also enjoy the relationships that we have in the present as well too. So I love of course that you mentioned that. I love even more that you help people to do that. And I truly appreciate you for taking some time out today.

16:08 – Outro