IAM2285 – Coach Helps and Empowers Women to Achieve a Fulfilled Career

Title: Transcript - Mon, 04 Nov 2024 06:31:27 GMT

Date: Mon, 04 Nov 2024 06:31:27 GMT, Duration: [00:16:56.35]

[00:00:00.20] - Lauren Young Durbin

We identify what they want, where they are, where they want to be, and how to get there in a way that their finances don't suffer because we all got bills that we have to pay. So I'm realistic about that and to match their transferable skills so it'll be an easier sell to new employers.

[00:00:20.94] - Intro

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I Am CEO Podcast.

[00:00:48.22] - Gresham Harkless

Hello, hello, hello, this is Gresh from the I Am CEO podcast. I have an awesome guest on the show today. I have Lauren Young Durbin. Lauren, excited to have you on.

[00:00:56.00] - Lauren Young Durbin

Hi. Hi. Thanks for having me.

[00:00:59.65] - Gresham Harkless

Yes, I'm super excited to have you on and talk about all the awesome things that you're doing. And of course, before I do that, I want to read a little bit more about Lauren so you can hear about some of those awesome things. And Lauren is a career clarity coach dedicated to helping women get unstuck in their careers. She works with mid career women collaborating to find lucrative, fulfilling and meaningful careers that help them realize their full potential. When you work with her, you'll have a partner and an advocate in an exhilarating career transformation journey. One that will leave you feeling more confident and equipped for success, more success than ever. She will provide for you support, accountability and action steps that you need to pursue the career of your dreams. And one of the things I was reading before preparing for this is that Lauren is a top 15 career coach in Richmond by Influence Digest. I also love the name of her, her business name. We were talking about it a little bit, a little bit before this Tyke coaching, which is the Greek goddess of fortune and fate, which I thought was absolutely awesome and perfectly aligned with everything that she does. But when I was looking at her website, one of these quotes really stuck out to me and it really spoke to me. It says, you are brilliant, ambitious and gifted and you deserve a career that allows you to shine as brightly as possible. So, Lauren, excited to have you on the show. Are you ready to speak to the IMCO community?

[00:02:15.37] - Lauren Young Durbin

I am. Let's do it.

[00:02:16.53] - Gresham Harkless

Let's get it started then. So to kind of kick everything off, let's rewind the clock, hear a little bit more on how you got started, what I call your CEO story.

[00:02:24.37] - Lauren Young Durbin

Sure. I got Started because even going back to, I don't know, very, very young, I always wanted to promote women and lift up women. And like, even in high school, I was. If we had a report to write, I was always writing about women, strong women, inspirational women. And I remember. This is a short story. I remember in high school, I was a cheerleader, and we weren't getting recognized like the other athletes. And I didn't appreciate that. So I did my research because, you know, I'm was and still am a proud nerd. And I'm like, what's the coverage on this? I went to the principal and I. I laid out my report like I wrote, full point. And then the next year, the cheerleaders were brought out and homecoming and everything. I was no longer a cheerleader, so I didn't get to benefit from all my hard. But going way back, I've always been about, you know, female empowerment and all that. And so I even went to a women's college. So when I got to the point of becoming a coach, I had to decide what. How. Well, I had decide how I wanted to serve. And I realized that although I am a licensed attorney, the way that I thought I can make the biggest difference to the most amount of people was by coaching. And I tried to coach. Not tried. I did coach everybody. But I found that I really love coaching women. So that's how I got to where I am, to the niche that Nanisha met.

[00:04:03.50] - Gresham Harkless

Nice. Well, I definitely appreciate that, appreciate the report that you were able to put together. And. And one of the things that. That kind of really stuck with me is I think so many times when you're, you know, fighting the good fight, doing the right thing, speaking up, when people don't really know what's happening, not only does that sometimes help you out, sometimes it doesn't if you graduate, but it does end up blazing trails that other people can benefit from. And it sounds like, I imagine that's a lot of what you're doing now, where you're providing these services, coaching people up so that they can also blaze trails, too.

[00:04:31.33] - Lauren Young Durbin

I would like to be a pebble in the ripple effect I help. I might be the catalyst to help someone recognize their greatness. Um, and that's one of my favorite things about working with clients, is seeing that spark. Like, yes, I. I have done all these great things because when you're amazing and great, you're always doing amazing, great things, it becomes normal. So it takes sometimes takes an outsider to tell you, yeah, you're shining. I'm blinding by your light. It's not a deal.

[00:05:02.37] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, that's a. That's such a huge thing. And so I want to drill down. I know we touched on a little bit here, a little bit more on how you're working with and serving your clients. Could you take us through a little bit more on what that looks like and how you're making that impact there?

[00:05:13.48] - Lauren Young Durbin

Sure. I mostly work with women one on one and one on one coaching. And we have individual sessions. The first session is always figuring out where you are and where you want to be. A big part of what I do is breaking through that wall, because we all have that wall of shoulds. I should be doing this. I have a law degree. I passed the bar exam. I should be practicing. So breaking through that wall of should, and it's like, well, what do you want to do? And I'm a very practical, tactical person. So it's not, you know, if you want to juggle knives in the circus, it's like, all right, so let's look at your budget and see. I make sure when I talk to clients, and this is generally over multiple sessions, we identify what they want, where they are, where they want to be, and how to get there in a way that their finances don't suffer, because we all got bills that we have to pay. So I'm realistic about that and to match their transferable skills so it'll be an easier sell to new employers. So basically, that's where I take people. And I always end up hearing back from former clients because I don't do job search coaching necessarily, or I should say formally, but I always get questions from my former clients about things. Always happy to answer, because I'm like, hey, you know, you're a client for life.

[00:06:45.14] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, yeah. Once family, always family. And I love kind of, you know, hearing that, you know, being able to kind of bridge that gap between, you know, where they are, where they ultimately want to be. And it kind of. And I don't want to put words in your mouth. It kind of sounds like it's almost somewhat of a strategy, because I think so many times, where we think that we are where we want to be, we think that it's just this big leap, or we go to sleep and we wake up, and it happens for a lot of reasons. Might be scared, nervous, might not. It might feel like we shouldn't do. We shouldn't take that step, all those things between where we are and where we want to be. But actually having a strategy, knowing that it can happen ends up Being, I think, very empowering, it sounds like.

[00:07:23.62] - Lauren Young Durbin

Yeah. What I find is that almost all of my clients are just. It's just wheels are turning, and, like, they're like, I can do it. I can figure this out, because I can do things, and I can figure it out. And what they really need is get out of their head. And I listen to one. I would say one of my biggest skills is listening to what's not said as well as what is said, because a lot of times silence, or the. The silent part speaks volumes, and it's the loudest part. So that's so important to me to make them feel heard as well as supported, because a lot of times they're the leader, so no one's really listening to them outside of taking orders. And so it's a place where they can be vulnerable. They can say what they really feel and what they really want, and we all deserve that. So I feel very fortunate that I can be that safe space for them.

[00:08:26.10] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, absolutely. And I almost wonder if this is part of your secret sauce, and it could be for yourself, the business, or a combination of both, but I feel like you have this ability to be able to see the forest for the trees, like you said, be able to kind of hear the things that are not said. Do you feel like your ability to be able to see that, but also connect those dots to be able to. To, you know, get to whatever goal that might be? Do you feel like that's part of what sets you apart and makes you unique?

[00:08:50.00] - Lauren Young Durbin

Definitely. Most definitely. And the fact that I have no problem calling people out on their bs, like, listen, you can lie to yourself if you want to, but I'm not going to sit here and let you lie to me, because oftentimes, I mean, we. We've all done it. Like, we'll tell somebody, you know, I think I want to do xyz. And they're like, oh, no. You know, have you thought about this? And so you stop saying the kind of things and that you want to do and revealing your inner thoughts. So I think it is a combination of me being able to make the connections, hear what you're feeling, but not necessarily saying. And then like, you said, hold up that mirror. And said, what I'm hearing is this. Is that right or wrong? And like, oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess that is the case. It's like, okay, yo. And also, just because you enjoy doing something, you want to make it a career, you doesn't have to be right now, like, you can have a job that's a right now job. And then while you're working on your craft, maybe you want to be a writer so you don't have to be doing your passion right now. So one of the things I do is I help people figure out what's feasible. You know, if it's not feasible for you to be. To go from a director at a, you know, a big company to becoming a sci fi writer, that's okay. Write two pages a day. You just work on and hone that craft or you learn more about the industry you want to get into. So it's about taking the steps, having a strategy, and, and that's what I help people develop.

[00:10:31.78] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, that ends up being so huge. And I love that word feasible. Again, it's like, I know you, when you work with clients, you create and hold that space. But I wonder how much, you know, we actually will hold that space to actually inspect what we're feeling, to create, to even know where we're feeling, let alone to look at it up at the bottom, at the top and say, okay, why do I feel this way? Is it because of the coworkers? Is it because I don't really like the work that I do? Is it because of the traffic that I have to fight through to get here? It's like really inspecting that. Do you feel like that's part of the CEO?

[00:11:03.00] - Lauren Young Durbin

It's a huge part of it. I mean, because we're all busy. We all have like 50 million thoughts going through our head and, and where as an out, this is more of an I think American thing. We don't, we're not, we're taught not to sit in our feelings. We're very about very productivity driven. Like you always should be doing something. Do, do, do. You don't have time. You know, if you're reflecting, you're wasting time. And like, what was I saying? Like, you have time to lean, you have time to clean. Deal. It's a very American mindset. And so we're so busy doing that, we don't spend enough time reflecting and then acting on. Based on that reflection, we just act and then we think, you know, oh, well, you know, the problem is this job and we change jobs and it's like, oh, the problem is this job. Well, you know, maybe you're, you're the problem. Maybe you're the coworker. Everyone goes home and complain about. It could be you.

[00:12:05.97] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, that's powerful to be able to do that. So I know you already touched on some of these, so I wanted to ask you were there any more? What I like to call CEO Nuggets. So this could be word of wisdom, piece of advice is something you might tell your favorite client, or if you happen to a time machine, you might tell your younger business self.

[00:12:23.00] - Lauren Young Durbin

All my clients are my favorite clients.

[00:12:24.65] - Gresham Harkless

There we go.

[00:12:28.62] - Lauren Young Durbin

One of the questions I find myself asking almost every client, if not every client, is when they tell me something, the first question I ask them is, is that true? And the answer, Nubbly, is yes. Yes, it is true. I'm like, what is that based on? What, what facts? Like, don't tell me. Well, he seemed to be annoyed. Well, okay, what. Tell me what the fact is. What is it? What happened? So one of the things, the best things you can do in general, especially like the self talk, is stop yourself, pump the brakes and say, well, is that true? What is that based on? And so that, that could be the first step of the self reflection. Because we tell ourselves so many different things, often very negative things that just aren't true. Because people aren't thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are. They're thinking about themselves as much as they think they. Most people are like, they just aren't unless you're directly in front of them. And let's be honest, sometimes you can be directly in front of them and they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about what they're going to have for dinner or which show to watch. You know, maybe I'm speaking from personal experience, maybe I'm projecting, but whatever. So that, that would be the first thing. The. Another tip I would give people is stop yourself and ask, is that true? What is that based on?

[00:13:56.24] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah. So now I want to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. And our goal is to have different, quote, unquote CEOs on the show. So, Lauren, what does being a CEO mean to you?

[00:14:07.10] - Lauren Young Durbin

Being a CEO is having a vision and a plan to execute that vision and the ability to know what you're good at and what needs to either not be done or to delegate. So it's. And that's not just CEOs in business, that's just CEOs in life and families and friend group, that kind of thing. So it's. It's vision plus action. That's what a CEO is to me.

[00:14:39.73] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, I love that because I think so many times especially I've read around like entrepreneurship and business, sometimes the people fall short because they have these visions, these grand things. But we need to have the execution of that vision. Vision to be able to bring that to. To fruition, to make that impact.

[00:14:54.57] - Lauren Young Durbin

Yeah. I mean, I'm not great at admin things, so it's like, why would I spend money or time, which is money. If you're an entrepreneur doing admin things when someone else can do it much cheaper and better, I should be focusing on things to make money, right? To pay that person.

[00:15:13.50] - Gresham Harkless

Yeah, absolutely. And Lauren, truly appreciate that definition. Of course I appreciate your time even more. So what I wanted to do now was pass you the mic, so to speak. Just see if there's anything additional that you can let our readers and listeners know and of course, how best people can get a hold of you. Find about all the awesome things that you're working on.

[00:15:29.42] - Lauren Young Durbin

Yeah, I want to Please connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm under Lauren Young Durbin. D U R B I N. If you look up Ty Tyche, you'll also find me. That's where I spend most of my time. Feel free to send me a direct message or just connect in any way. I'll be happy to hear from you.

[00:15:51.23] - Gresham Harkless

Absolutely. And of course, to make it even easier, we'll have the links and information in the show notes as well too, so that everybody can follow up with you. Connect on LinkedIn. Found your website here and find out about all the awesome things that you're doing. But I truly appreciate you for taking some time out. I appreciate you even more for the work that you do. I think so many times we don't realize the greatness that we have within. The greatness that we're, frankly, we're already doing. We don't realize that those quote unquote small things end up being huge things. So thank you so much for being that pebble for us today as well too. And I hope you have phenomenal day.

[00:16:19.63] - Lauren Young Durbin

Thank you. You too.

[00:16:21.99] - Intro

Thank you for listening to The I Am CEO podcast powered by CB Nation and Blue16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at Imceo Co. I am CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Want to level up your business even more? Read blogs, listen to podcasts and watch videos at CBNation co. Also check out our I Am CEO Facebook group. This has been the Imceo Podcast with Gresham Harkless jr. Thank you for listening.