IAM1471 – Key Points In Discovering Yourself

Gresham was featured on This Might Get Uncomfortable podcast where he talked about his personal experience and also shared his insights on how he got to that aha moment despite the motionless growth circumstance.

People are considered the most adaptable creatures that they can acclimate to various degrees. We were once in the “discovering yourself” stage but it seems we cannot go out of our prized comfort zones.

Almost always you hear people saying that they are growing and yet, they are lost in the stagnant space. Sitting down in conversation with Whitney Lauritsen and Jason Wrobel, Gresham Harkless Jr., Founder of CEO Blog Nation, imparts his insights and personal experience he used to get that aha moment despite the motionless growth circumstance.

It's not always the case that if you're comfortable and satisfied, you're developing. Listen in and learn the points we can try to improve on.

Episode Link: https://progreshion.com/2021/04/09/gresh-is-featured-on-this-might-get-uncomfortable-podcast/

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Transcription

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00:00 – Intro

Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups, and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview?

If so, you've come to the right place. Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

00:20 – Gresham Harkless

Hello. Hello. Hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast formerly the CEO Chat Podcast. So doing something a little bit different as we ease into the fall from the summer.

And you know, everybody's traveling a lot more, you know, life is obviously a lot different than it has been in the last four years, definitely since I started this, let alone the last two years or so.

But I had a podcast called the CEO Chat Podcast, which is a lot more of a long-form podcast. I didn't really reach the 1400-plus episodes that we did with the I AM CEO podcast.

So there's a lot more long-flowing, a lot more conversational, but might be dusting off, the CEO Chat podcast and bringing that back out.

So with that being said, while considering that what I wanted to do is go through some of the interviews that I had that were some of my favorites and share those, it's not gonna obviously be the full entire interview. We're gonna have links in the show notes so that you can go and listen to the full interview. But I wanted to do some snippets that you can get.

You're going to hear, of course, you know, the visibility, either the resources or the connections in each of these different snippets.

So it's going to be one of those things that are really going to help you to hopefully learn more about the guests that are on the show, what they do, how they do it, why they do it,

but also get that opportunity to really learn about some resources that can make you more effective and efficient. So sit back and enjoy this special throwback CEO Chat episode. But I was trying to do something bold. I really said, okay, I really have entrepreneurial tendencies.

I want to really start something, so I want to take bold action. And it didn't go according to plan at all. It was one of the darker moments that I think I've had. But now I can say like, you know, going years forward that it actually was something that I needed to, to have happened.

I say I'm hard-headed enough that if probably if I didn't tear my Achilles tendon, I would have been, you know, bouncing around doing a bunch of different things.

But I think at that time it's just, you know, I wasn't a happy camper. I was sad, I was embarrassed because I was trying to do something bold and it didn't work out. But I think, you know, hindsight's 2020 and it was something that kind of led me there.

But I wish that I could say that I knew that I was gonna, you know, build myself up from that.

But it was me at that time pouring myself into, like, interviews and the blog that I have and all of those things where I couldn't do anything else.

That is what kind of was that light at the end of the tunnel was reminding me of where I wanted to be. But it was still a dark time because you never know how those things are going to come out.

So for me, it was a gradual process. I can say now that definitely it happened for a reason, but I didn't know at that time. So, Are you ready to speak I AM CEO Community?

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02:39 – Jason Wrobel

Yeah, I think it's interesting to talk about sort of these moments in our lives where I feel like when we're in a point of pain or suffering or depression or sadness, as you're talking about, Gresham it, to me, feel sometimes when I'm in those.

Those positions in my life, feel like they're never going to end. Like, intellectually, we know they're gonna end right on one level, we know, you know, I'm not going to be at this level of pain. I'm not going to be at this level of despair for the rest of my life.

But in a way, when we're that deep in it and we're that deep down the well, it sure feels that way, doesn't it? It's like, when am I going to be out of this?

And so, you know, as you're coming out of this injury and you're. You're getting your strength back, you're going through. I assume you're going through physical therapy to get, you know, your. Your function is back.

You know, what's that process of coming out of that darkness for you? Because I feel like, as humans, Whitney and I talk extensively about mental health here.

We talk about depression, and suicidal ideation. We talk about people's origin stories. That's something we really love to get into get those deep, soulful personal stories.

So as you're recovering, as you're getting your strength back, how did that process inform you as an entrepreneur, as a man, to face the uncertainty and the pain and the suffering that is inevitably going to find us all in life?

You know, how did that set you up for, I guess, being more resilient? I don't want to use the word tougher, but being more resilient and trusting that, yeah, I can make it through this darkness and find the light on the other side of it?

04:09 – Gresham Harkless

Yeah, I think that's a great question. And as you said, like, the process was definitely, you know, I didn't tear my Achilles Completely. Completely.

So I didn't have to have surgery, but I still had to have the cast. You know, cast after cast, going through pt, learning how to walk again.

I remember even, you know, figuring out how to take my toes and pick up marbles and move them from side to side. Just all those things you take for granted, you start to really appreciate, you know, all the things that you're able to do on a regular basis.

And I always kind of bring myself back there to understand like even the process of everything, because I think especially with starting a business or just anything in life, it's.

I tell myself all the time it's a marathon. And I try not to get caught up in, you know, you want to make sure you're staying focused on the day to day, but you don't want to get so caught up in, you know, where you're going to be or trying to move too fast to where you cheat yourself of the process,

but also maybe even stir up a lot of that frustration on things not moving as fast as you want them to go. So for me, like, that time was really that me realizing that no matter how much I wanted to start walking again,

I had to remove one cast to get another cast. I had to learn how to, you know, get, you know, to one crutch and another. And it, it's just a whole entire process, so you can't really treat that process.

So for me, it made me kind of respect the process to do anything, whether it be starting a business or learning a new skill or a hobby or whatever it might be that I have to really get present with that.

And of course it's always a process that I have to really learn from. But it's something that I always go back to that, that moment because I took a lot of things for granted because you just assumed everything was going to go the way that you want them to go.

And when they didn't go the way you want them to go, that's when you really find out, like, who you are. That's when you get to that resilience or that mental toughness because things will not go 100% how you want them to go, but how are you going to react to that?

And that's something that I challenge myself. And if I ever kind of get in that place, I say, okay, you did the Achilles. You were able to get through that.

You were able to get through the physical part, but also the mental part of being stuck in bed and not being able to get your own food and things like that. So you can get through a lot if you're able to get through that.

06:26 – Jason Wrobel

To bring up a couple of basketball analogies real quick. And Whitney's laughing because she's like, oh, man, is this whole episode just going to be about basketball wisdom and analogies? It might. It might.

But I legit feel, though, Gresham, what you reminded me of was. Was last year, right before the NBA Finals with the Lakers in the Heat, they were talking to Jimmy Butler and Pat Riley sort of about their philosophy as a team that there's, you know,

we hear a lot about with sports teams and also companies, that there's like a culture. Like, what's the culture of the team? What's the culture of a company?

And he was saying about, you know, when you get tested by life, when you get these challenges, you really find out who you are and what's inside of you.

And. And Pat Riley and Jimmy Butler were talking about their whole team's philosophy about a lemon. They said, what happens when you squeeze a lemon?

He said, well, you get lemon juice. And Pat Riley said to Jimmy, he said, exactly. He said, that when you're squeezed in life, what's inside of you comes out for everyone to see.

So this sort of lemon juice analogy is like, yeah, when you get squeezed in life when you face setbacks, challenges, suffering, pain, confusion, what the hell am I going to do next?

It really does start to reveal, I think, deeper parts of who we are, maybe things that we've never even accessed before.

You know, I know certainly that there have been times in my life and Whitney's as well, we've been through a lot as friends and business partners, that times of strife, you know, financial hardship this past year, we've all lived through. Right.

I got to see some sides of myself on a deeper level that I hadn't really acknowledged or fully seen yet. And so I think your story, Gresham, is poignant in the sense that those are the moments in life.

It's not that there's no value in happy moments or joyful moments or celebrating. Right. But I don't necessarily think those moments reveal as much about ourselves as the tough times do.

You know, it's. It's really getting through the muck and the darkness that we're like, wow, not only did I survive that, but I learned a whole lot about myself.

And the other thing, too. You know, you talk about slowing down, and you talk about taking time to appreciate the things that you took for granted. And I think it.

It really is important to take this in when we're in a moment with digital tech and social media things we talk of Whitney and I talk a lot about of this.

Go, go, go, go, go. Hustle, hustle, grind, grind, grind. All the time. Like this constant pressure where you see business leaders, entrepreneurs, thought leaders, authors, etc, whatever, always preaching the gospel of hustle and grind.

And it's like sometimes in life I think it's more important to play at your own pace. Again, another basketball analogy, right? Play at your own pace and then you make the game fit around you.

And so, you know, I'm wondering, you know, if that mentality still translates in your business right now as an entrepreneur where you play at your own pace and you don't get caught up in the stuff that you see on social media about people telling you how to run your business or how you should do your promotions.

How do you find your lane? And how did you find your lane amidst all that noise? Because it's so easy to get caught up in the noise.

09:27 – Gresham Harkless

Yeah, I think that's a very valid point. And like, even like during, you know, when I tore my Achilles, one of the things that I wanted to remind myself of is I started to get, I guess hardened to some degree.

Like even as I was recovering, like I had my friend had a wedding and it was in New York and they were like, oh, you're not going to come to the wedding, because I know you tore your Achilles. I said, no, I'm coming to this wedding.

And I'm literally, you know, on crutches, on the bus, taking that five hour bus ride to do that. So as you said, you know, the lemon, I guess the lemon juice that was hitting me was just like, okay, this hurts, this sucks. But I want to try to not have it dictate my life.

And that's what kind of came out of me, you know, from that. And that's how I've tried to approach, you know, things in my life. I think so many times, you know,

especially when you're younger, you start to see or believe that you should be X, Y and Z or A, B and C because so and so says that or because everybody's doing that, whether we're talking about, you know,

you being on social media channels or this is how you should run your business or you need to be a speaker or whatever that might be, however that manifests itself.

For me, I am a big believer in when you're young. And when I'm talking about young, I'm talking about really young. A lot of times there's seeds planted of who you are and what Makes you who you are.

So I always go back to that. I always go back to, like, I started a family newspaper when I was like 10 years old. My dad went TDY. He was in the military.

So I like creating and writing and doing all those things. And that's something I always went back to when I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be and who I was.

I went back to that story because for me, it was something that was unique. It was something I did not to get any popularity at that time. I was just trying to connect with my dad and of course, sell some subscriptions to make a little extra dollars and things like that.

But that's something that made me who I was and feel like I. And that's what I feel like. I always go back to, you know, that creation piece, that creation of content piece. But I will say this, like, it was definitely a process and I tried to be, you know, other people.

I tried to do what everybody else tried to do, but it didn't feel right. I tried to try on those shoes, so to speak, and it didn't fit. I didn't feel genuine.

I didn't feel like I was authentic. I didn't feel like I was running my own business. And I almost felt like if I wanted to, my goal was to start a business and really to hopefully, you know, make an impact and create change.

If I have to do that by being somebody else, I might as well just get the 9 to 5 job and just do the regular whatever it is that I didn't necessarily want to do. If I can't do and run my life and approach my life in the way that is in alignment with who I am, then what's the point of me even doing it?

So it's kind of tapping into that same mentality that I had when I tore my Achilles, where I'm just going to try to do it my way. If it doesn't work out, then so be it.

But I'm going to try. And there's nothing worse than the pain of regret. So I try to tap into that and just stay true to that in every aspect and try to, you know, have that filter of, okay, is this in alignment with who I am? Not saying that I'm afraid to try things, but still, you know, tapping into, like, who I am and going forward from there.

12:33 – Whitney Lauritsen

I love that. It's so incredibly important. And I'm curious, what is your process for tuning into yourself? Because that's something that I'm constantly reflecting on.

I think it's a long process to understand ourselves and who we are because we have to brush away, chip away, dig away at all these different elements of ourselves and all these layers that we've accumulated over time.

And I find that many of those layers are other people's influences or society's influences. Right. We have so many things at play.

You know, each of us has some sort of story we have in our head. And then, of course, there's a lot of timely and cultural messaging out there that can get in the way and cause us to think that we're less than or, you know,

that we're never going to make it because of who we are, who we were born as. So I'm curious, what has that process been for you, Gresham, as you've tried to really figure out who you are so that you can be in alignment?

13:43 – Gresham Harkless

Yeah, I think it's always an evolving process. I almost feel like you never really truly feel like you understand all the different aspects of yourself, but for me, a lot of it is just trying things, trying different things, like I mentioned,

you know, and seeing what works and what doesn't work for me has been absolutely huge. But I'm kind of maniacal about understanding myself, you know, taking the Myers Briggs test, all of these different kind of personality tests, just to try to get an idea of who you are.

But I think what makes it probably a little bit more difficult is we're evolving. Just like businesses, just like life itself, we're changing and evolving, too.

So something that I might not have liked 10 years ago, I might love now, but I think really drilling down and working, and for me, it's just absolutely trying things and seeing what works and what doesn't work is what helps me to kind of understand that.

But I always try to get really, really, I guess, alone or in a quiet space to really question myself and meditate on different things that I'm trying or different things that might be certain ideas. Because I think when I do that, it gets a little less noisy. You don't take away the history or the culture or all of those aspects.

But I think when you get really quiet and you're by yourself to some degree, you have only yourself to kind of answer to. And I think when you're able to do that, it allows that to happen. So that's usually kind of like what I go through.

It's not like, very, very structured, but I feel like it's something that has helped guide me to where I am now. It doesn't mean that everything I do is completely in alignment, but I'm always trying to get more and more in alignment, trying to fulfill, you know, my goals and my aspirations and my gifts on an even deeper level.

15:31 – Whitney Lauritsen

That's awesome.

15:32 – Gresham Harkless

For me, you know, the personality test has been a way that I use and understand myself to kind of know where my, I guess my zone is, my zone of genius, so to speak, and where I use it more so as a tool, not as a box.

15:48 – Outro

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community.

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This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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