IAM947- Author Empowers Women to Make the Best Decisions

Renee Bauer is an award-winning divorce attorney, host of the Happy Even After podcast, author, and creator of the online divorce course, called the d-course. She is committed to educating and empowering women to make the best decisions for their future by giving them the tools they need to make rational and reasonable decisions rather than decisions fueled by anger and hurt. Renee also founded the Connecticut family law firm, Bauer Law Group.

• CEO Hack: To-doing and writing power statements based on the to-dos
• CEO Nugget: Believe that what you're putting out there will come back (ii) Have patience
• CEO Defined: Being authentically true to who you are

Website: http://www.msreneebauer.com/

IG: @msreneebauer
Twitter: @msreneebauer
A children's book: https://renee4c30b8.clickfunnels.com/percy-book1606931699370

Full Interview:

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Transcription

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[00:00:09.90] – Intro

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I Am CEO podcast.

[00:00:39.20] – Gresham Harkless

Hello. Hello. Hello. This is Gresh from the I Am CEO podcast, and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Renee Bauer of the Bauer Law Group. Renee, it's awesome to have you on the show.

[00:00:47.50] – Renee Bauer

Hey. Thanks for having me.

[00:00:49.00] – Gresham Harkless

No problem. Super excited to have you on. Before we jump in, I want to read a little bit more about Renee so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. Renee is an award-winning divorce attorney, host of the Happily Happy Even After podcast, author and creator of the online divorce course called the d course, and she's committed to educating and empowering women to make the best decisions for their future by giving them the tools they need to make rational and reasonable decisions rather than decisions fueled by anger and hurt. Renee also founded the Connecticut family law firm Bauer Law Group. Renee, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

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[00:01:19.20] – Renee Bauer

I sure am.

[00:01:20.29] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Well, let's do it then. So to kick everything off, I wanted to hear a little bit more about how you got started with all the awesome work you're doing. Could you take us through your CEO story? We'll let you get started with the business or your podcast.

[00:01:29.59] – Renee Bauer

Yeah. So I got fired from my first job as a lawyer. So that's where that's where my story starts. And, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I started my law firm, and I had sort of a vision of what I wanted to create as a family lawyer. I do just divorce. And I noticed there was such a gap in the market for, like, this holistic, service of not just swiping the law onto a piece of paper, but offering people the emotional counseling that goes with it and providing a service that a lot of lawyers just weren't providing for their clients at the time. So from that, place, I grew the law firm.

So now we are an award-winning law firm in Connecticut. We are as busy as ever despite the pandemic. And, we have just adopted this approach that just takes on the client and all of more than just their finances that we're looking at. We're looking at them as a whole person and how we help them outside the other end. It's not at the end of the divorce. We're shooing them on their way. We're setting them up to be equipped to have a successful post-divorce future. So from doing this work for eighteen years in my state, I had a desire to share my message with a broader audience.

And I've twice divorced myself and lived with all of the emotions of it, the guilt, the shame, all of that, and wanted to talk to, especially women, about their emotions that they have when they're going through a divorce and how they sit with it by themselves and they sit with the shame and it starts to define you. And I saw the opportunity, to share my experiences both professional and personal, and create a program to help people out the other side that focuses on not just the law. It's it's part spirituality, part mindset, part strategy, and that's what's missing in this environment. And so through that, my podcast launched, and all of the things that have, come from that. So I'm super excited that my reach has expanded so far beyond just my little state.

[00:03:31.90] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. It's an exciting point. And I love that you said that because so many many times when a door closes, we automatically think, you know, and feel bad about that. But sometimes, it opens us up to other opportunities that we never really thought of before. And I love that you talk about that. I say so often that we forget about the human aspect of business on so many different levels especially in a divorce when things don't work out the way we thought that they would always work out. We often don't look at that human part. We look at the and probably especially in your world, the transaction piece who gets what, and so on, all of those aspects. But kinda skipping over that is, like, doing a disservice to, like, the people that are involved and I think even in the world as a whole if we drill down.

[00:04:12.09] – Renee Bauer

Absolutely. And especially in the divorce environment, if you're just looking at that in sort of a funnel and only focusing on just the necessary steps to get out the other end, you're missing this whole other piece of it because the success of and I think anything, of any sort of adversity, whether it be a divorce or losing a job or anything like that, is so much more than just that thing. And mindset is such an important part of it. And for me, my kind of spiritual twist and the infusion is in faith, which has nothing to do with religion, is so important as well.

And that's the indicator of how you get through adversity and whether you're going to just survive this thing that's happening to you in your life or are you going to use that as an opportunity to pivot and, and to rise? That could be losing a job, a breakup, or a health issue there are so many things that we bump up into in our messy lives that an important tool is to take all of those pieces and use that as a catalyst to say, okay, now what am I going to do with this? Am I going to kind of pull the covers over my head and just say, poor me and I'm a victim in all of this? Or am I going to say, you know what? This is not going to define me and I'm going to turn this into an opportunity to be bigger better and happier than I ever was before.

[00:05:34.00] – Gresham Harkless

Yes. I love that. And especially, like, we all are experiencing somewhat of a pivot that we had to take in the pandemic. But a lot of that mindset piece is a big part. It's not so much if a thing will happen, it's when it will happen and how we'll react to it. So that's why I love everything you talked about mindset. And I believe that as an extension of that are words and those things that we use. So I love the name of your podcast Happily Even After because it speaks to that, like, even those things even though things happen, you still will be happy and we still have that light on the other side.

So, I know we touched on it a little bit, about all the things that you do to help serve your clients. Is there anything additional that we didn't touch on or that I didn't read in your bio and what do you feel makes you unique and is your secret sauce?

[00:06:15.50] – Renee Bauer

Oh, I love this question. Thank you for asking it. So I'm creating and launching, in the next couple of months. Actually, by the time this episode drops, it will be live. The Divorce Soul School is stuck still in conflict. And the concern of how to move on? I'm still stuck in conflict and concerned about how to move on. I'm still so angry. And we are tackling what you can do. We're not we don't care about what your agreement says. We don't care about who your ex is or how much of a jerk they are. It's what can you do to create the life that you freaking love and you have the power to do that.

Divorce Soul School is based on spirituality and faith plus the mindset plus strategy. And so I take all three of those things to really, it's kind of the secret sauce to creating a life that is just awesome rather than just having life happen to you. You are the creator. Right? Like, you're the CEO of your own life. Now how are you going to get there and and be the boss of it? And so that program is just for that.

[00:07:24.39] – Gresham Harkless

I wanted to switch gears a little bit, and I want to ask you for what I call a CEO hack. So this might be an app, a book, or a habit that you have, but what's something that makes you more effective and efficient?

[00:07:33.60] – Renee Bauer

Oh, okay. So great question. For me, I am a taskmaster. Like, I am the ultimate to-doer, cross it off my list to a fault. So what I do is, each morning I take about ten or fifteen minutes that I sit down and say, how do I wanna show up today? And I almost write these power statements or I am statements based on what I have. Look, today, I had a couple of interviews. So I'm going to show up as a very different person than the one who has to get through that task list. And so it prioritizes, what I what's required of that day, but also how I'm going to, show up for that day and how effective I'm going to be.

So a day doesn't go by without me doing that. And then at the end of the day, I sort of reflect on it and say, okay. I did everything or like yesterday, I got caught up in all of the things that weren't that important, and I had to readjust for today. But it just it's a check-in with me. And rather than just hit the ground running and kind of fumbling through the day and the chaos, which often happens, when you're running a business, it's it's checking in and saying, okay. I'm going to put some intention behind what I have to do today.

[00:08:44.70] – Gresham Harklessx

I want to ask you now for what I call a CEO nugget. And this might be a word of wisdom or piece of advice It might be something if you were to hop into a time machine you might tell your younger business self?

[00:08:54.10] – Renee Bauer

Believe, so that's my one word believe that what you're putting out there will come back and have the patience to keep moving forward. So we see so many businesses that are people trying to do things and they quit and they give up. And it's because they just stopped before they had that momentum. And if you put your time and your effort and your energy and your faith and your passion and all of the things into it, you will be successful.

There is no way. There's no other option. If you continue, that doesn't mean you won't fail. Of course, we're going to fail over and over and over again, and that's part of it. We fail, we learn, and we move on. We fail, we learn, we move on, and we keep doing that until the failure comes a little less and less until you're at that point where you succeed. But believing that you're capable of it is everything. Because if you don't believe in yourself, where are you gonna go from there? You're gonna fall short. You're gonna quit.

You're gonna say this isn't for me. But if you believe that this thing that I'm doing, there's a reason for it. There's a purpose, I'm meant to help people, I'm meant to serve, that will continue to propel you forward in all of those walls that you bump into and hiccups will just say, okay. That was just a pivot. I'll just redirect and keep moving because I still believe that this thing is going to work.

[00:10:12.00] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. I love the word believe. I love how it ties into what you talked about before with that. The word f the f word, the faith word, to be able to kinda tie those things together because I think when you have that faith that what you're doing is going to work out and you believe in yourself as you said so well, it allows you to see those setbacks, but not get stopped by those setbacks.

And I think so many times we have, you know, a path and vision of what we want to accomplish, and it's very rarely a straight line. And if you understand that, you accept that, but you continue to say, I'm gonna find a way, I'm gonna pivot, I'm gonna change, this is the one point of version. I'm I'm gonna come out with the next version. Whatever that might look like, it allows you to continue to have that energy toward that vision and goal that we might have.

[00:10:54.79] – Renee Bauer

Couldn'tagree more. I love that.

[00:10:57.20] – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So now I want to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. And we're hoping to have different quote-unquote CEOs on the show. So, Renee, what does being a CEO mean to you?

[00:11:07.79] – Renee Bauer

It's being authentically true to who you are, the business that you run, how you lead, how you show up, and how you serve. And that sometimes means that you are rocking the boat. You're doing things a different way. You're not following the rule book. Maybe you're burning it and you're doing it without fear. You're doing it without apology and you are forging ahead. That's that that's what it means to me beyond financial statements and, you know, all of the typical things that we think of when you say CEO. It's so much deeper than that.

[00:11:46.20] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Love that. As we talked about in the beginning, that human aspect of business and tapping into that human aspect of the business is sometimes and often being authentic to yourself, your vision, the gifts that you were given, the things that you were put into your dreams, or whatever that might be.

A lot of times you can't fit inside the lines, you have to color outside the lines, and you try to figure out what box you're supposed to stay in because there is no box. After all, you don't see one. But when you stay true to that, true to yourself, true in your actions and things, then that's really when you get to take ownership and, get to tap into that authenticity that you talked about. So I love that perspective.

[00:12:19.60] – Renee Bauer

Yeah. And  I spent a while, on this kind of new journey. So the the law firm thing, I had been at it for a while, but then I started this new business that had the greater reach, and I was trying to do all of the things that were supposed to be done. People said you're supposed to do that this way and do this and do that and show up this way. And the more I tried to check the box of all of that stuff, the less, I felt dead inside. I'm like, this doesn't feel good.

It's not authentic, and then I threw it all out. I'm like, you know what? I'm showing up the way that feels good to me, and that's when things started to pick up and that's when people started to connect and the interviews were lined up and that's because people recognize that they don't want copycats. They want originals. And, you know, and I think that that's so inspiring is to watch. There are so many people out there doing this thing in their authentic way, and that's what makes them stand apart.

[00:13:10.29] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Absolutely. And I think that I always say this, so many times when we are ourselves and we run our race, as I always say, if you run your race, you can never lose. Because if you run your race, you also forget that we inspire so many other people to run their race too. Because they are like, okay. Well, I can do it in my own way. I can be authentic to myself. And it starts to create this, I think, transformational, I guess, watershed moment where everybody's just staying true to themselves, being authentic, and we don't have those copycat moments. And we get to see the beauty in what the world is.

[00:13:40.20] – Renee Bauer

Yeah. And sometimes that's hard to do. Right? Like, it's it is hard sometimes to show up differently because you're going to get the people who say, like, what what what does he or she think they're doing? Who do they think they are? You turn off that noise, you turn down the chatter. You turn down the volume, and you do it anyway. And that's when you are inspiring other people, just like you said.

[00:14:03.89] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. Absolutely. We have to kinda realize and it's easier said than done sometimes that the only checkbox that matters is the one that's inside and internal. And if we kinda stay in alignment and check off the things that are what we want to do in alignment with why we were even here, I think that that makes a huge, impact in moments.

So, Renee, truly appreciate that, and I appreciate your time even more. What I wanted to do is just pass through the mic, so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional you can let our readers and listeners know and, of course, how best they can get a hold of you. Find out about the course, the book, the podcast, and all the awesome things that you're working on.

[00:14:33.39] – Renee Bauer

Oh, yeah. So, Instagram is my favorite place to hang out and I will just direct everyone to go there. That's at Ms. Renee Bauer. And from there you can link up to all of the things that I have going on. And I think my message final message is that what a year we had, but yet what a gift, in the sense that we have been able to step back and evaluate, the rat race and the chaos of what life was before. And I know my life was certainly chaotic and to be forced to slow down and reassess everything like this was an opportunity and it's still going.

It's still an opportunity to just sit back and say, okay, now what? When this is all over, what do I want? Do I wanna go back to that life before when it was craziness and chaotic and maybe I was unfulfilled? Or do I wanna do something different? And if it has taught us nothing else, it's that we only have one life to live and we have to make the best of it. We have to do those big, bold, scary things even though it scares the crap out of us because imagine what would happen if it all came true.

[00:15:41.29] – Gresham Harkless

Yeah. And those, those are the people the people that dare often do. So if you dare enough to try to make those things happen, it's huge. So we would have the links and information in the show notes. I love what you said about the world, but also what a gift. Because I think if we can change our perspective, our mindset, and we can start to look at things differently, we see it as an opportunity to maybe reinvent ourselves, to pivot, to do all the things that we kinda talked about before.

And I think if we look every day, every second, every, moment as an opportunity to do that, that's really when we start to propel our lives and our businesses and our, you know, whatever it is, our relationships in the right way. So truly appreciate that, Renee. Appreciate you again for taking time out, and I hope you have a great rest of the day.

[00:16:20.50] – Outro

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes Google Play and everywhere you listen to podcasts, SUBSCRIBE, and leave us a five-star rating grab CEO gear at www.ceogear.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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