IAM182- Entrepreneur Teaches Sales Teams How to Identify and Manage Their Fears

After closing multimillion-dollar deals with brands like Target, Hilton, and Nike, working with Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs, and influencers alike, Kristy Ellington found the one thing that connects us all is fear.

And after living most of her life IN fear, Kristy knows first hand that Fear is what stands between you and sales, personal growth, and success. Kristy spent 10 years in sales and marketing but now teaches sales teams how to identify and manage their fears and harness the power of emotion in order to close more deals, more often.

• CEO Hack: Mindfulness to help control my life and business
• CEO Nugget: The things you are going through are lessons and not meant to victimize you
• CEO Defined: Creating a shared vision with the people you work with

Website: http://kristyellington.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristykellington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kristyellington
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristyellingtonllc/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBZUVq7CD0nx_nRw_CqVj9A

Full Interview

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Transcription:

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Intro 0:02

Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups, and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 0:27

Hello, hello, hello! This is Gresham from the I AM CEO Podcast and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Kristy Ellington of Kristy Ellington Consulting. Kristy, it's awesome to have you on the show.

Kristy Ellington 0:36

Great to be here! Thank you so much for having me.

Gresham Harkless 0:38

No problem, no problem. And what I wanted to do was just read a little bit more about Kristy so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. And after closing multimillion-dollar deals with brands like Target, Hilton, and Nike, working with Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs and influencers like Kristy Ellington found the one thing that connects us all is fear. And after living most of her life in fear, Kristy knows firsthand that fear is what stands between you and sales, personal growth, and success. Kristy spent 10 years in sales and marketing the now teaches sales teams how to identify and manage their fears and harness the power of emotion in order to close more deals more often. Kristy, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

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Kristy Ellington 1:19

I am very ready.

Gresham Harkless 1:22

So the first question I had was to hear a little bit more about your CEO story. What led you to start your business?

Kristy Ellington 1:27

Oh, man. So this is probably the third or fourth business that I've started. But because of the aforementioned fear, I wasn't showing up completely for my businesses or my audience, or my customers. And it really just led to me just like crashing and burning multiple times.

So, this iteration really comes after kind of a personal growth year where it was kind of just like you hit rock bottom, and then you start to rebuild, and you realize all of the things that look behind you and see all the mistakes that you made and all the wrong moves that you took.

So this year with this business, it just felt really well timed just because of all of the experiences that I've had with the sales teams with starting my own side businesses multiple times. And this is the first time I've actually gone full in 100%, with the company starting from the ground up.

So yeah, it's kind of a long and windy road. And as I said, I failed multiple times and was definitely ashamed of those failures before. But now that I know that those failures just really lead to being a stronger person and a stronger leader once you actually go full in and fully show up. It's been such a wild ride, but I wouldn't change anything.

Gresham Harkless 2:26

Awesome, awesome. Yeah, they often said your ups and downs sometimes make you who you are. So sometimes we go through those difficulties or those quote-unquote, failures, you can actually be stronger and more prepared for your next venture and whatever you're doing next.

Kristy Ellington 2:38

Absolutely.

Gresham Harkless 2:39

And so I know you touched on it a little bit. So could you tell us a little bit more about how you supporting these clients, how you're helping us to kind of work with fear, be okay with fear, and be able to kind of tackle that?

Kristy Ellington 2:47

Yeah, so yes. So my experience comes just from being in fear myself and seeing how sales teams and just people, in general, are held back from their success. So, what I do is a combination of online coaching programs, which is a four-week program that I another session is starting next month, where I take people through my curriculum, but I also teach in-person courses and classes for sales teams in a summit situation. So full-day courses or summits. So it's a combination of both.

So I started as an online entrepreneur, but this is my first time really wanting and feeling the call to work with people one on one. So I do take some one on one coaching clients as well, executive leadership, for example. So there's a myriad of different ways that I work with people, I like to keep things small. So my group coaching programs are small. And I think that talking about fear is just really scary in general.

So keeping the group small is really important to me so that it becomes a safe environment. So people can really share their information, and I get to know people a lot better. And we can deep dive into their curriculum in a lot more thorough manner, versus just talking at 50,000 people or 1000 people or 500 people or so. My programs are pretty small. They're like 20 to 30 people, Max.

Gresham Harkless 3:52

Interesting. I feel I feel like people, like you mentioned are so kind of afraid of talking about fear that I guess you kind of have to come in be honest with yourself and say that, okay, I'm not reaching where I could be because of fear. So do you find that a lot of people have to deal with that and have to come to terms with it actually being fear?

Kristy Ellington 4:11

Yeah, I think people have to be ready for this type of program. And I think a lot of it is understanding that you know, I give a lot of examples in my work and sort through the content marketing that I'm doing for the business and through the conversations that I'm having. And it's it really is just identifying what the actual problem is.

And the problem could be as simple as you know, you get really nervous before you go into a sales conversation and you try to ignore it. But then you can't really think clearly when you're actually in that conversation. And your brain is always focused on, you know, how are you performing or how you're appearing to your clients instead of focusing on your client and their problem and how you're going to solve it.

So that's actually fear and fear itself is a biological response. You know, there are definitely experts out there that say you can ignore fear you can get over it. You just have to take action, but not actually dealing with it is part of the problem. Because it's there. It's underlying everything. It bubbles up during your conversations.

It bubbles up during whatever you're trying to present or the phone call that you're on, or before you pick up a call to cold call someone. And it just slows down your thinking because our body goes into survival mode, which literally, like resources are diverted from our brains into our heart and our lungs and our limbs to fight or flight. And when we're ready to fight or fight, we're not thinking clearly. So it's all biological.

And so like these very simple examples that I know, everybody goes through, like everybody does it, I've talked to the leaders of Fortune 500 companies, and even when they're going into conversations with other leaders in their space, they get nervous, and it starts to slow down their thinking, and it hinders their ability to communicate or to analyze a situation.

So it really does affect everyone. And when you start to bring in these really practical examples of how it shows up, people understand and they realize, oh, yeah, that is fear, it is holding me back. Or maybe it's just like having a tough conversation with your spouse about how you're feeling or what's something that you want, or something that you need that gets really, you know, scary, too.

And I experienced that myself. So when you have these real-world examples, and it's not just a concept of fear, it's not just the idea of fear, it actually shows them how it shows up, that's when people get invested.

And they realize, oh, you know, I could be performing at a higher level if I could manage this. But it is a little bit like building a market for it. Because I think it is something that people talk a lot about in concept, but do not actually practically understand how to manage it.

Gresham Harkless 6:17

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. But I love the fact that you're giving practical examples, because it lets people know and understand exactly, this is what fear is. And I think another big point that you've kind of touched on is that often, especially entrepreneurs and business owners, you hear or see the fear, feel the fear, and do it anyway, but you never hear or deal with it. So it's kind of like that one step is kind of very important. So, it's great that you're shining a light on that.

Kristy Ellington 6:43

And it's so funny, too, that most of our fears actually come from past experiences, like our brains remember painful experiences, like from our childhood or youth. And it's just our fear is just a way of protecting ourselves. It's our body's way of protecting us from pain. So for example, I had a huge hang-up with presenting. I was afraid of presenting in public. Public speaking was a big fear of mine.

And once I realized that it actually came from an experience when I was a child, I was teased before and during a book report that I was giving in the fourth grade, that really stuck with me, because it was a person who I actually really liked. It was like my fourth-grade crush that was teasing me in front of everybody. It's traumatizing for a young person, especially a young girl that's going through changes in life and her body and trying to get used to all those things. And so that actually just really stuck with me.

So once you realize that your fear is illogical, and it's something that is coming from a place that's not real, it's not real now, like I'm not being teased in front of a, you know, a sales leader, who I'm presenting to you to try to get on my programs, you understand that it's not real. And so you can start to reshift, the focus back onto your client and really just, be the provider of the service that you that you're trying to provide, instead of just focusing on yourself and your irrational fears.

Gresham Harkless 7:52

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It's funny, I saw something on Instagram, I think yesterday, and it said that I have 99 problems, and 87 of them are made up in my head.

Kristy Ellington 8:02

That is very real.

Gresham Harkless 8:04

I had to share, I had to say that because that's so very true. And now I wanted to ask you for what I call your secret sauce. And this is what you feel kind of distinguishes you or sets you apart.

Kristy Ellington 8:12

So I do think that it's the fact that you know, I think fear is such a hot topic right now everybody's talking about it. Everybody's saying, you know, don't let your fear hold you back. But no one's actually giving you the tools to do it. And so that's a major part of my program. It is actually walking you through why the groups are so small because we actually get to workshop our way through our fears and learn how to manage them practically and systematically. So it's my program isn't teaching methodology.

I don't teach methodologies. I don't teach process, I teach things that people can apply to the methodologies and the process they already have. It's just a layer on top. And it really stems from being mindful and aware of how you're feeling and actually embracing your emotions instead of pushing them away or trying to ignore them or work your way around to them.

It's actually just feeling your way through them, which is something that I had to learn the hard way like to kind of consider my teachings and my style. And my secret sauce is that I'm almost like life coaching and business mixed together. So it's a little bit touchy-feely, just because we are talking about emotions, but I want these things that I'm teaching these sales teams to be practical advice they can apply to the rest of their life, too. So I think it's not just about business for me. It's about full life, which I think sets me up in my programs and my teachings apart from other sales coaching right now.

Gresham Harkless 9:24

Yeah, that makes sense. Because you have people that are just teaching tactics. So you need to use LinkedIn and use LinkedIn in this way so that you can get more opportunities. And then you have people that are saying, Oh, you get more tied into you know, who you are, and what you're doing. But you're not really clear on how that helps associated with the goals that you have from your business standpoint. So being able to marry the two is definitely and now I wanted to switch gears a little bit and ask you for what I call a CEO hack. And this might be an app or book or a habit that you have but something that makes you more effective and efficient.

Kristy Ellington 9:53

Oh, man. So the biggest shift in my life came when I learned that the director's commentary that was going on in my head all the time was like it was throwing me off. And I wasn't the only one experiencing it. Like, I didn't realize that not everyone had this going on. So this also stems from, like, the mindfulness stuff that I've learned. And I would say that “The Power of Now” was a huge book for me in shifting my thought process. But once I learned how to turn off or like slow down, or just like quite the director's commentary in my head that was going on saying, I wasn't good enough that I'm never going to be, you know, okay, that just judging everyone and everything, including myself, and just picking apart everything that I was seeing, even when I was walking down the street. Once I learned how to quiet that, it really did change my life.

And being able to just like, sit and listen to nothing. So many more creative ideas come to me so many more solutions, popping into my head, so many more inspirations come to me when I'm able to quiet that voice. So I would say mindfulness is a hack that, definitely shifted the way that I deal with things in life, but also how I operate my business.

Gresham Harkless 10:59

Yeah, absolutely, that monkey mind has a mind of its own. And it leads you everywhere. Leads you down paths you don't even want to go. So being able to kind of, like you said, be mindful and understand that the present is here and be able to kind of control that a little bit better, also helps out so I appreciate you for sharing that. Now I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO nugget. And this is a word of wisdom or a piece of advice. Or if you can happen to be a time machine, what would you tell your younger business self?

Kristy Ellington 11:23

What I would tell my youngest business self is that the things you're going through you're going through them as lessons and not to be a victim of your own life. I think we often say a lot of Why me? Or why is this happening to me instead of what can I learn from this experience?

And once I shifted that, in my mind, everything that I had gone through up to that point became such a huge lesson and something to be grateful for, because it got me to this point now. If I hadn't gone through those things, I wouldn't be able to teach people what I'm teaching them now. And I am so grateful for that. So once you shift from being a victim of your life, and turn yourself into a student of your life, I would say that things really start to change for you.

Gresham Harkless 12:03

Awesome, awesome, awesome. And now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of being a CEO. And we're hoping to have different, quote-unquote, CEOs on the show. So what does being a CEO mean to you?

Kristy Ellington 12:13

I knew this was gonna be your favorite one. I put some thought into this one. And I really believe that being a CEO isn't just about leading the business and making sure you hit your business goals. It's about creating a shared vision with the people that you work with. I often have found that CEOs, you know, do a really great job of leading the team and having their own vision.

But I think it's really going that extra layer to have to ensure that the people that you're working with and the people that you hire, and your leadership team have a shared vision of what you're doing. Because if anyone is you know, you can hand out your brand book, you can hand out your goals, you can hand out your voice and tone and you can hand out your mission and your values. But if your leadership team especially doesn't share in those with you and aren't personally invested in those things can get squirrely real quick. Because they're responsible for hiring people underneath them who are responsible for hiring people underneath them.

So if you're not all responsible for creating that shared vision of what this company is, it's not just mine, as a CEO, it's everybody's because everyone is working with me. I feel like that's a really big piece. And it's a huge responsibility. And some people might say that if you spend too much time doing that, then you're not spending enough time building and growing the business.

But I think it's just as important to get your entire team on board with this vision and make sure that they understand the role that they're playing in the company and have a personal stake in that. Because, people take jobs, not just to go to a nine to five, I don't believe that people want to just go to a job and go home and you know how two separate lives. I believe that they want to be fulfilled at their job. I believe that they want to have a purpose.

And if you can give them that purpose, even if it's just selling advertising space, or pixels on a web page, like make sure that you understand how this job is impacting their lives and help them get on board with the vision because once you all have a shared vision, I feel like things just like 10x in terms of success and growth and trajectory.

Gresham Harkless 13:58

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. And I've always heard that businesses can fail from going too slow, but they can also fail from growing too fast. And as you mentioned, if you don't have that foundation, where you understand, you know, everybody's why you're dialed into that and it all becomes you know, one cohesive goal, you can have massive sales and massive growth, but at the same time, if your foundation isn't there, it can all kind of fall apart.

Kristy Ellington 14:20

Yeah, exactly! And like, you know, I've been at companies where, you know, the especially the sales organization isn't on board with the mission that maybe the marketing team is on and like they need that alignment and if everyone is just building a different message for each vertical that they're in like sales have a different message and marketing that has a different message in accounting or finance, you know, all of these things, it just becomes kind of a cluster and it just it not only slows down growth, but it actually really takes down the morale for the teams because they're all talking amongst themselves on how you know this team isn't on board with the mission and it's like maybe their mission is different than yours and that just doesn't make any sense.

Gresham Harkless 14:55

Yeah, you hear it all the time! Marketing gives us bad leads, salespeople say they don't even know how to close or something.

Kristy Ellington 15:03

I listen to a lot of podcasts. And I've listened to a lot of sales podcasts recently that are like really down on marketing. Just feel like you guys are on the same team, you'd sit probably two feet away from each other. Talk to each other.

Gresham Harkless 15:17

Exactly. Well, no, that's awesome. Kristy, I truly appreciate you for taking some time out and all the awesome work that you're doing what I wanted to do is pass you the mic just to see if there's anything additional, you want to let our readers and our listeners know. And then of course, how best they can get ahold of you.

Kristy Ellington 15:29

Yeah, the only thing that I could say further is that you know, fear really is holding you back from your success, you may not even realize it on the other side fear is your greatest potential. On the other side of fear is more success and fulfillment than you can imagine. So, you can get a hold of me and learn more about my programs or just what I'm all about at kristyellington.com.

I'm launching a new online four-week group coaching program in January. So, be sure to subscribe. Email us if you want to be alerted for when that launches. And I also have a freebie on my website to see on kristyellington.com/free-guide which you can get the 13 trigger emotions behind every sale, which is really interesting because part of my practice is to harness the power of emotion and help people understand how people really think and the fears behind buying. So yeah, can be interesting.

Gresham Harkless 16:13

Awesome, awesome, awesome. And we'll make sure to have those links in the show notes. So Kristy again, I appreciate you for all you're doing and of course the time he took today and I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the day.

Kristy Ellington 16:22

Thank you, you too.

Outro 16:23

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co

I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes Google Play and everywhere you listen to podcasts, SUBSCRIBE, and leave us a five-star rating grab CEO gear at www.ceogear.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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