IAM2535 – Coach Helps People Create Stable Intimate Relationships Full of Big Love

LinkedIn: Alice Turpin-Johnson

Previous Episode: iam326-coach-helps-people-create-stable-intimate-relationships-full-of-big-love

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Alice Turpin-Johnson Teaser 00:00 

So, I offer coaching and education for couples and singles who want to learn how to create the relationships that they actually want.

And so, what that looks like is I'll combine coaching services with education. So, we might get on a 45-minute coaching call, and we'll use that coaching relationship to help that person really get into themselves.

And really get clear on what it is that they want in a relationship, what that looks like, what that feels like, and then how to actually make that happen, make that manifest in their lives.

Intro 00:33 

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview?

If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 01:00

Hello, hello, hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO Podcast, and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Alice TJ of AliceTJ.com. Alice TJ, is awesome to have you on the show.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 01:10 

Hi, thanks for having me. It's so good to be here, Gresh.

Gresham Harkless 01:13

No problem. Super excited to have you on. And what I wanted to do was just read a little bit more about Alice, so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing.

And Alice helps people create stable, intimate relationships full of big love. She doesn't want to just listen while you rehash your most recent fight or dissatisfaction each week.

She wants to help you transform your relationship without changing who you are. This isn't about self-improvement. This is about letting go of what you're not and learning about what you need to create the love that you want, Alice. Are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

Alice Turpin-Johnson 01:45

I absolutely am.

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Gresham Harkless 01:46

All right, let's do it. So, to kick everything off, I wanted to hear a little bit more about what I call your CEO story. What led you to start your business?

Alice Turpin-Johnson 01:53

Yeah, I love this question. So, I was a teacher before I started relationship coaching and education. And I loved working with students and being in the classroom.

But what I really wanted to be teaching was emotional literacy and resilience, and interpersonal communication skills.

And I was able to weave in bits of those things into what I was doing in the high school classroom.

But I was also expected to make sure that students knew how to use a semicolon and write a works cited page.

And those are important things, but I got to the point where I felt like those weren't the things that I'm here to help people with.

So, I started exploring my options. And I knew that I wanted teaching to be a part of what I was doing.

I wanted to teach people powerful communication structures and emotional literacy skills, and new ways to fight.

So, I knew education would still be a piece of what I was doing, but I also really wanted to empower people to kind of take back creative agency when it comes to designing the relationships that they want.

And so, that's where the coaching piece came in, because at least for the type of coaching that I'm trained in, co-active coaching, it's designed in part around this foundational belief that every person is creative, resourceful, and whole.

And so, the coaching relationship is about helping you access those things in yourself so you can get really clear about what it is that you desire and what it is that you need, and how to actually make that happen in your life and in your relationships.

Gresham Harkless 03:32

Nice. I absolutely love that. I love how, sometimes, when you're in a specific role, for example, like a teacher, sometimes you only look at it in one aspect, but the fact that you were able to tap into yourself to realize that there's another way that you can teach it as well.

And if I may say, I think it's something that's not taught, obviously, a lot in school. A lot of people don't really have that emotional intelligence. I guess that's the phrase to use to understand themselves, but also understand the people around them. So, I'm glad you're doing that.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 04:01 

Absolutely. Thank you. And I think that's happened to so many of us as entrepreneurs, right? That we realize that there's some piece of what we're already doing that's really, it's like deep in us somewhere.

And we want to just kind of fan that flame, but in a way that more fully expresses who we really are.

Gresham Harkless 04:17

Exactly, exactly. I think that's when everything hits that perfect spot, if you can say, where you are perfectly in line with who you are, but you're also doing that work, and you're able to kind of show that in many ways.

So, I wanted to drill down a little bit deeper here, a little bit more on how you're helping people find this and some of the things that you're doing to help your clients.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 04:39 

Absolutely. So, I offer coaching and education for couples and singles who want to learn how to create the relationships that they actually want. And so, what that looks like is I'll combine coaching services with education.

So, we might get on a 45-minute coaching call, and we'll use that coaching relationship to help that person really get into themselves and really get clear on what it is that they want in a relationship, what that looks like, what that feels like, and then how to actually make that happen, make that manifest in their lives.

And then the education piece, maybe we take 15 minutes at the end of our hour-long session, and we do some education, learning about a new way to communicate, or a new way to interact with emotions, or how to get embodied in your emotions so that you can process them a little bit differently in a way that maybe serves you more.

I work with couples a lot as well on how they're communicating together, because we've got these two unique humans, and then they're coming together to build a thing.

And if anybody who's listening even has a business partner, it's like, whoa, okay, all of a sudden it got more complicated.

So being able to communicate around that is super important. So, I'll do a lot of communication education there as well.

Gresham Harkless 05:50

Yeah, that's huge. And like, like you even touched on that, I was gonna say, I feel like, sometimes you're just thinking of intimate relationships, I guess you can say.

But there's literally relationships with everyone and need them, you need to have that kind of, I guess, skill in order to understand people, understand how best to work with somebody or how best to be in an intimate relationship, whatever that might be.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 06:11

Absolutely.

Gresham Harkless 06:12

Nice. And now I wanted to ask you for what I call your secret sauce, and this could be what you feel distinguishes you or your organization, or what you feel kind of sets you apart.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 06:23

Definitely. It's interesting. I was told so early on in business that I needed a signature method or a formula that was just mine.

And it would be great for marketing, right? For me to be able to be like, solve your relationship with these seven steps, and here's my fancy name for it.

But and I think that that can work really well in certain industries, but with what I do and working with people about their relationships, my clients are human, and they're bringing that human to our coaching relationship and to our teaching relationship.

And so, each one of them comes with this unique set of values and desires and fears and all of these things.

And then when I work with couples, there are two people, each unique and different, bringing that to the table.

And so, like I think that some couples would get some benefit from sort of a formula or a signature method.

I found that people get such a greater degree of power and benefit from really learning how to master the creative control of their own relationships.

So instead of having it be me giving them a list of to-dos or me giving them like a five secrets to, in five weeks, solve your relationship, to really teach them how to become the practitioners of their own relationships.

Because every single one of us has the ability to do that. We have the ability to become the practitioners of our own relationships and be able to then create the relationship that we need and want as we change.

Because, like who I am and what my current relationship is, will be different 20 years from now.

And so, I want to equip people with the skills to do that for themselves, instead of feeling like, okay, well, now I need another formula because now things are different and something else is going on.

And what do I do with this? Instead, I want them to have the tools to be like, okay, we know how to look at what's going on, figure out what we want, and then make that happen.

Gresham Harkless 08:32

Absolutely. And I love that because you're empowering the people that you're working with, the people that are in a relationship to, like you say, be able to use whatever quote-unquote, I guess, skills or be able to be aware of what that looks like and how to kind of, I guess, adapt maybe their actions or whatever, based off of whatever their current situation is.

Because I feel like, just like you said, if you have that seven-step process, for one, it doesn't take into account the different personalities that you might have in the room. And another thing, it doesn't take into account all those changes that people have.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 09:04

Absolutely.

Gresham Harkless 09:05 

That makes sense. And I wanted to switch gears a little bit and ask you for what I call a CEO hack.

And this might be an Apple book or habit that you have, but it's something that makes you more effective and efficient.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 09:18 

Yeah, I love that. I would say my biggest CEO hack is also my biggest life hack, and it's a community, a real community.

One of the first things that I did when I got into business was to find a handful of other entrepreneurs who I really enjoyed being around.

And I loved what they were getting into and what they were creating to put out into the world, and creating community around that, right?

Like encouragement, accountability, get a group of people and have it be a place where y'all can bounce ideas off each other, and like send each other ridiculous dance videos for celebration when one of you tries something new and gets excited about it.

And then the same, surround yourself with that same thing in life, right? Like build relationships such that you have a handful of people who are solidly in your corner.

And there are people who you love, right, who also love you, but there are also the people who are gonna show up with their words and their behaviors to show you that they're in your corner, right?

Like you trust them, you feel safe, they love you for all of who you are, they encourage you, they're willing to really lovingly call BS when you do things that don't align with who you really are or what your values are, and have that be the core of your community, and make sure that if you're in a relationship, your partner is one of those people.

Gresham Harkless 10:46

Absolutely. And it makes perfect sense, especially with running a business or really sometimes just life in general, there's so many ups and downs.

And things that happen that you need kind of those people, that community that you mentioned, to kind of lean on, because sometimes it will often is very, very difficult to get through a lot of things solo or by yourself.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 11:06

Absolutely. And it's, I mean, that if we don't do that, it's like this entrepreneurial journey can be so isolating.

Gresham Harkless 11:13 

Absolutely. Absolutely. And now I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO, CEO nugget. And this is a word of wisdom or piece of advice, or if you could hop into a time machine, what would you tell your younger business self?

Alice Turpin-Johnson 11:28 

I would give her a hug for starters. My younger business self was so afraid of what people might say or think if I really showed up to do what it was that I wanted to do.

I was so afraid of that judgment. And for the longest time, people gave me advice about how nobody's judging you because they're all spending too much time worrying about their own stuff.

And sometimes that's true, but sometimes it's not. And sometimes people are going to judge you, and they are going to say things about what it is that you're getting up to.

And, they're going to talk about you behind your back. And the shift for me was, was just owning that.

Like, yeah, some people are going to judge me for this, and managing their judgment. That's not my work. That's not what I'm here to do in the world and for the world.

And realizing that the people who are going to judge you, those aren't your people, right?

Like they're not the people who are in your corner. If they're talking smack, they're not going to be your clients or your customers.

So, you're not here to serve those people. So, it's kind of being able to just own. Yeah, that's probably happening. Okay. What's next?

Gresham Harkless 12:42

Right. I love that too, just because it kind of aligns with everything you kind of talked about in when you started your business or thought about starting your business, where you understand what your work is, as you said.

And you don't in anything that's not in alignment with that, you're not going to worry about that. Is that something that you're able to just naturally do? Or do you have something that you go to to make that happen?

Alice Turpin-Johnson 13:05 

It's a process for me, and the thing that's been my biggest kind of go-to is just that phrase, that's not your work.

When I catch myself being in that zone of, oh, but if I put out this video or if I have this conversation, what will they say? Right. Whoever they is, I don't know them.

We're not friends. But I just kind of stepped to the side of myself and used those words. And it's that's not your work, girl. Get back to what you're here to do. That's not your work.

Gresham Harkless 13:38

Exactly. And it definitely starts to put everything in perspective. And I always say, you can't lose if you're running your own race.

If you're trying to run somebody else's race or you're trying to appease somebody else, then you can definitely lose.

You probably will lose because you'll never be happy. But if you're doing, like you said, what your work is, then you won't have to worry about anything else.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 13:58

Absolutely. I love that. And you'll have so much more fun, right? I want it to be fun too.

Gresham Harkless 14:06 

Exactly, exactly. And now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO.

And we're hoping to have different quote-unquote CEOs on this show. So, Alice, what does being a CEO mean to you?

Alice Turpin-Johnson 14:19 

That's a great question. It's evolved for me a lot recently. And what I've been stepping into is that being a CEO means being the visionary of my business.

Gresham Harkless 14:33

Nice. I love that because a lot of times you need to be able to figure out what are the steps or how you're going to build and grow your business. And it sounds like you've been able to do that as well.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 14:44

Yeah, absolutely.

Gresham Harkless 14:47

Nice. Well, Alice, I truly appreciate your time. What I want to do is pass you the mic, so to speak, just to see if there is anything additional you can let our readers and listeners know.

And then, of course, how best they can find out about all the awesome stuff you're doing.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 14:59

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. This has been a lot of fun. I just really want to encourage anybody who's listening, if you're in kind of a tough position in your dating life or in your relationship, to realize that there is such tremendous potential for you to have the relationship that you want.

It's not too late for you. It's not because there's something that is wrong with you. You're great. And you can absolutely create that relationship that you want.

So, if you're in that place, have that kind of dynamic hope of like, I can do this. This can be there for me.

And if you wanna hang out, come and hang out with me on Instagram at heyalicestj, all one word.

You can also shoot me an email, it's Alice@alicestj.com, or come and hang out with me on my website at alicestj.com.

Gresham Harkless 15:51

Awesome. And we will definitely have those links in the show notes, but I truly appreciate everything that you're doing.

Relationships are literally everywhere, and you can always work that muscle and work on that and build that. So, I love that you're doing your work and you're reminding us to do that as well.

So, Alice, thank you so much again for your time, and I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the day.

Alice Turpin-Johnson 16:09 

Thank you so much, Gresh. This has been fun, likewise.

Outro 16:12

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast, powered by CB Nation and Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co. I AM CEO is not just a phrase; it's a community. Check out the latest and greatest apps, books, and habits to level up your business at CEOhacks.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless Jr. Thank you for listening.

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