IAM2320 – Counselor and Advocate Helps People Heal their Pain, Illness, and Trauma

In this episode, Grace Quantock discusses various topics related to health, wellness, and entrepreneurship.

Grace emphasizes the importance of daily listening sessions for preparing for appointments, regulating the nervous system, advocating for oneself, and addressing symptoms.

She highlights the need to support individuals living with pain, illness, and trauma without causing disembodiment, burnout, or blame.

Grace shares her journey into entrepreneurship, which began due to her illness and disability, necessitating flexible work.

She discusses her experience navigating complex medical systems and transitioning from personal advocacy to wider community support.

Grace runs Onwards Together therapy, offering psychotherapeutic counseling and coaching for complex trauma, as well as creative therapeutic journaling workshops and a program called Refuel and Resource for medical and wellness trauma.

Grace emphasizes the importance of recognizing systemic issues and personal context in managing health and success, advising that success comes from creating one's own path rather than following others' systems.

Website: gracequantock.com

Book: www.livingwellwithchronicillnessbook.co.uk/book
IG: grace_quantock

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Transcription:

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Grace Quantock Teaser 00:00

You can start listening to them. You get one a day. It takes you through prepping for the appointment, regulating your nervous system, getting ready to advocate for yourself.

Planning what you're going to take with you, planning how you're going to discuss your symptoms, how you're going to address this.

And basically everything I do is designed to support people living well with pain, illness and trauma without going into disembodiment, burnout or blame.

Intro 00:26
Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate safe and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview?

If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 00:53
Hello, hello, hello, this is Gresh from the I AM CEO Podcast and I have an awesome guest on the show today. I have Grace Quantuck. Grace, excited to have you on the show.

Grace Quantock 01:01
Thank you so much. I'm so honored to be here. I'm so honored to be with your amazing listeners and readers. Thank you.

Gresham Harkless 01:07
Thank you so much. You're doing so many phenomenal things and I think of course, before we jump into having that phenomenal conversation,

I want to read a little bit more about Grace so you can hear about some of those awesome things.

And Grace is an award-winning anti-oppressive psychotherapeutic counselor, writer and advocate known for her work with marginalized individuals living with pain, illness, and trauma.

She is the author of Living Well with Chronic Illness. Write your own roadmap to healing in tough times.

Over the last 15 years, Grace has supported thousands through her therapeutic sessions, workshops, and writings aimed at dismantling oppressive health narratives.

Featured in publications like the Guardian and the Times, and a recipient of the Curtis Brown Breakthrough Award.

Grace's work continues to foster significant societal shifts. She's committed to helping her clients live personally and collectively, advocating for a fairer world.

And I absolutely love, love, love everything that Grace is working on. We had a great conversation when we first connected and I think so many times you don't realize that something is real until you hear someone that's been able to do that.

And it also empowers so many people that are in these marginalized communities. So I absolutely love that.

And she has such a powerful TEDX talk as well too where she mentioned that when you embrace your otherness, you can do so much more.

And she has a pretty cool freebie as well too. We'll probably talk about a little bit later on. But, Grace, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

Grace Quantock 02:27
I am so excited. Yes, please.

Gresham Harkless 02:28
Awesome. Well, let's get it started then. So to kind of kick everything off, what I wanted to do was rewind the clock a little bit here, a little bit more on how you got started, what I call your CEO story.

Grace Quantock 02:37
Absolutely. So, you know, for me, like so many people, my journey into being CEO, into entrepreneurship, began due to illness and disability.

And many of us end up in this place because we need to work for ourselves. Not only because of a dream or because of what we want to do in the world, but potentially because it's difficult for us to access a more traditional job or a job at outside their home or a job that's less flexible.

So for me, you know, When I was 18, I was about to go to university, I was studying to be a historian, and I was thinking of working maybe in an archive or, you know, going into research and academia.

And I experienced a serious relapse of one of my autoimmune conditions. And so suddenly, from, you know, being ready to go and study and kind of devote all my energy to that, I was at university.

But rather than spending my focus on my studies, I was in this complex world of hospital waiting rooms and endless medical appointments.

And so I began to draw on actually my academic skills, my background in research and also in climate activism, to research and find out how to navigate the system,

how to survive, how to stay myself and find ways forward in a system that medical systems very convoluted and also doesn't always necessarily take into account our complexities,

our different backgrounds, our different ways of being particularly, you know, back then, but still now.

And so what happened was that started to kind of word started to spread about how we were navigating things. And actually we started calling our phone, like the crisis hotline.

People started kind of calling us about, like, how to navigate things. And actually then when I was 21, I had a new diagnosis.

And originally they thought I had a really extensive sarcoma, so a really extensive bone cancer. And so I was waiting to see if I needed to have chemo.

I said, right, if, you know, if I don't have to now fight for my life through chemo and radiation, what will I do with that time? I don't have to spend doing those treatments.

And, you know, really, as for many people having kind of a brush with mortality, an experience that really brings that to the fore, I made a list of what I wanted to do.

And one of the things I wanted to do was actually, you know, do what I was doing informally and advocacy more formally. I wanted to get my work out in the world.

I wanted to write a book and see my words go out there and support people and do personal things as well. And so I made this little list. I was coming up hydrotherapy.

I was in the grounds, I was waiting for the phone call. I made my little list and then when it turned, I actually had extensive thinness to my bones and extensive bone problem, but not a life threatening one, not cancer.

I started then working, you know, towards bringing this out of just our personal circle and kind of into the wider world. And it took a lot because I was living wholly on benefits.

I had to get permission to work while on the benefits because I wasn't well enough to work full-time.

And all of that took, you know, so long to. Because, you know, I was seeing articles that would say like, the first was overnight success.

And then the one time I think the Times wrote about me and said like, put me as an entrepreneur success story, but fascinating.

They didn't put in all the help I've got, the grants, the mentors, and it's like, yeah, yeah, an overnight success with like 15 years and, you know, support behind you.

So that was kind of how I began and how I work now is just really in community and I'm really honored to be doing what I'm doing.

Gresham Harkless 06:26
Yeah, well, I appreciate you so much and sharing that. And so I wanted to drill down a little bit more to hear a little bit more on how you're working with and serving your clients.

Could you take us through a little bit more of what that looks like? And I would love to hear, of course, more about your book as well too.

Grace Quantock 06:39
Thank you. Absolutely. So I run Onwards Together therapy. So I offer psychotherapeutic counseling and I also offer coaching. And we're really working with complex trauma lives and bodies.

We're working with a level of complexity that often isn't met elsewhere that is kind of said to be too much.

And it's when we are deemed too complex rather than us necessarily identifying other. Some people may do so. I also run creative therapeutic journaling workshops.

I have a program coming up called Refuel and Resource about addressing medical and wellness trauma. And of course, I have written the book Living Well with Chronic Illness. So this is available in the UK.

We are doing our best. We are working on getting a U.S. offer. And anybody who wants to know when that is, you can sign up on my newsletter, which is on my website, gracequantock.com and that's when you'll be notified.

One of the things I also offer that I'm really proud of alongside the book is these pre-appointment pep talks. So these are these free audio coaching that you can get over about 10 days.

And so it's when you have a scary medical appointment, you can sign up, you can start listening to them. You get one a day.

It takes you through prepping for the appointment, regulating your nervous system, getting ready to advocate for yourself, planning what you're going to take with you, planning how you're going to discuss your symptoms, how you're going to address this.

And basically everything I do is designed to support people living well with pain, illness and trauma without going into to disembodiment, burnout or blame.

Gresham Harkless 08:19
That's so powerful.

Grace Quantock 08:20
And so, you know, I believe we talked to one thing we were talking about before was kind of like, do I have like a hack or an app or something that I love the most?

And actually it is, I thought about this for a long time and I thought, you know what it is? It is the visible app. So this is an app which helps you manage your energy if you have fatigue or chronic illness.

So I wear a heart monitor and it monitors my heart rate, my heart rate, ability, my heart rate, and it tells me when I'm overexerting and it gives you pace points in the day.

So I start with so many points, if I stay within my kind of energy envelope, I get to kind of keep having this much energy. If I exceed it, it's a little bit like a bank account.

If you kind of exceed your limit, you get overdraft fees. So you have to stay within your limit. And the more you stay within your limit over time you get kind of energy interest and your limit gets a little bit bigger.

So honestly, as somebody who runs my own business, managing my energy, not going over and outside of my energetic budget as well as my financial budget is a really, really important part.

Gresham Harkless 09:26
Yeah, absolutely. That's a phenomenal hack. And I think when we started to realize like I think so many times we think that there's an unlimited amount of energy, time and resources that we have.

I almost wonder is that part of like what you feel like is your secret sauce thing you feel kind of set you apart and makes you unique?

Because I feel like there's this kind of awareness of understanding that there are limitations in what we can do and the amount of energy that we have.

But at the same time it's like that balance being between understanding these I'm not going to allow outside imposed limits to kind of quell what I'm able to accomplish.

Do you feel like your ability to be able to understand that, that, hey, I have this amount of time or this amount of energy or whatever that might be, I'm going to maximize that, but at the same time, I'm not going to allow someone else to tell me what I can and cannot do or put any limits on that.

Do you feel like that's part of your superpower of secret sauce?

Grace Quantock 10:17
Thank you. Yeah, there is, there's a whole lot about other people's voices and figuring out what we've ended up. We call that psychological interject.

What we've kind of swallowed wholesale, what we've been fed and it's kind of, we've started to believe is true and actually starting to excavate some of those voices and saying, well, is that true for me?

Does that apply for me? So I always talk a lot with, about. We talk about orientation. So where are we orienting the problem?

Are we orienting the problem in our bodies, in our lives, or are we orienting it systemically, perhaps where it belongs now, if it is systemic, what can we then still do about it?

How can we then still navigate it? But it's about, you know, so often we get told systems. And, you know, I have done so many.

When I was younger, I did so many people's systems and I would go, but they didn't work for me, but I did them perfectly. And a lot of the systems don't acknowledge the systemic issues.

So they were these systems and they would kind of say, do all this exercise or do all this stuff. And they wouldn't acknowledge, perhaps your neighborhood isn't safe for you to exercise alone.

Or as a wheelchair user, the neighborhood is full of potholes and it's literally unsafe for me to be able to do it. Or I live in the valleys of South Wales, which is full of hills, and I'm a wheelchair user.

So that's really, really tough. So they. When things, a lot of the kind of cookie-cutter systems, we feel like we failed them, but actually they failed us by not acknowledging our wider context.

So exactly, say a lot of this secret I'm trying to make not a secret is for us to really acknowledge where we are, what our conditions are, what our environment is, and then figure out what's possible within it rather than again, trying to do somebody else's way of success, which quite frankly, often invisibilizes a lot of privilege.

And so if you look at somebody and you think, how are they doing it when I'm not doing it? Unfortunately, quite often the answer if you actually speak to them and they're willing to tell you is things like family money, inheritance, a rich spouse.

And if, like me, you're not dealing, you don't have any of those things, you could feel like, well, how come I'm falling behind or doing it wrong. And actually it's recognizing there's lots of things that are going on within the context and still what's possible for me within that.

Gresham Harkless 12:35
Absolutely. So what would you consider to be a little bit more of what I like to call a CEO nugget? I know you gave us a CEO hack, but what would you consider to be a little bit more word of wisdom or piece of advice? It's something you might tell your younger business self if you were to hop into a time machine or potentially your favorite client.

Grace Quantock 12:49
I love it. I love it. So it is actually just. I really want to think about it. It's kind of just what we were talking about.

So that our path to success is probably not going to be through following somebody else's system or footsteps. We can gather ideas from people, we can gather wisdom, we can gather nuggets.

But in many ways, you know, one of my mentors said to me, that is digging the clay. You're digging the clay, you're gathering the material, and then you make meaning, you shape meaning out of that material.

But all the other stuff is just, it's just something you're gathering in. And it's up to you then to actually build something from that and not forcing ourselves into somebody else's business model or healing journey, but fitness.

Creating something that fits our life and our body today.

Gresham Harkless 13:37
Awesome, awesome, awesome. So now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO.

And our goal is to have different quote-unquote CEOs on this show. So, Grace, what does being a CEO mean to you?

Grace Quantock 13:48
I love it. So to me, I thought, I thought a lot since you actually talked about this. So to me, being a CEO is about being a change-maker.

So it's about creating spaces, curating spaces, where healing can happen on multiple levels, both individual and systemic. It's about being very transparent.

That's what we're trying to do here today. And challenging these harmful narratives in wellness culture, these ideas that say you have to be perfect, you have to look perfect.

You have to be already very wealthy, you have to be cured, you have to. You also have to often look in a certain aesthetic, you have to be thin, you have to be white, you have to be femme, you have to be rich.

You have to be hearing cis, whatever it is, all of these things that we're kind of told it has to be. And instead looking at what we need to lead, to succeed, to be part of a community while honoring our lives, our community, our needs, our limits.

And I often say I believe in our pain and I believe in our possibilities.

Gresham Harkless 14:47
Truly appreciate that. Of course, I appreciate your time even more. So what I wanted to do now is pass you the mic, so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional that you can let our readers and listeners know.

And of course how best they can get a hold of you. Get a copy of the book, find about all the awesome things that you working on.

Grace Quantock 15:03
Thank you. Yes, of course. So I guess what I really want to say to people who are wanting to be CEOs or doing entrepreneurship work,

who are living either with chronic illness or disability or just who aren't well, who are just living with some level of difficulty there that your struggles with the healthcare system and your body, these don't have.

These aren't your faults. We're often told that if we just try hard enough we can heal ourselves. But that ignores the systemic barriers and the complex realities that we all live in.

So we're looking to support and create a life and a business that fits our body today, not some future well version of ourselves. But you don't have to do that alone.

Community and support make it all possible, especially with podcasts and communities just like this from the part of Nat. So you can find me@gracequantock.com the book.

We're doing our best to bring it to the US but if you just can't wait, you can get it online. The websites are Waterstones and Blackwells and we will put those in the show notes.

Amazon has been a little bit tricky. Some people have got it in Amazon US some people. Amazon's just got confused. But you can find me and all my offerings@gracequantock.com.

Gresham Harkless 16:12
Absolutely. Well, I appreciate that Grace, and we don't want anybody to be confused.

So like you said, to make it even easier, we're going to have the links and information in the show notes as well too so that everybody can follow up. And I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the day.

Grace Quantock 16:21
It's a pleasure. Thank you so much.

Outro 16:23
Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO podcast powered by CB Nation and Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co.  I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community.

Want to level up your business even more? Read blogs, listen to podcasts, and watch videos at CBNation.co. Also, check out our I AM CEO Facebook group. This has been the I AM CEO podcast with Gresham Harkles Jr. Thank you for listening.

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