IAM2814 – Why Redefining Success Changes How You Build

The Trap of Inherited Success

Most builders begin their journey with a definition of success inherited from external sources—focusing on more money, more status, and more growth. While these milestones look impressive on paper, they often lead to a “quiet tension” where achievements don't match personal fulfillment. In this episode, inspired by a conversation with abundance coach Rebecca Brown, we explore why checking off boxes often feels incomplete if the goals weren't yours to begin with.

The Power of Alignment Over Expectations

A real shift occurs when you stop defaulting to what is expected and start choosing your direction intentionally. When success is based on internal alignment rather than external pressure, decision-making becomes significantly easier.

By getting clear on your own definition of success, your priorities sharpen and your energy becomes more focused on the lane that actually matters.

Engineering Your Own Race

The core takeaway for any leader is that if you run your own race, you cannot lose. Chasing someone else's definition of success is a guaranteed path to feeling empty, even after reaching major goals. Ask yourself: “What does success actually look like for me right now—not five years ago, and not for someone else?”. Finding that answer changes absolutely everything about how you build your business and your life.

Previous episode: https://iamceo.co/iam2813-why-specificity-creates-scalability-for-builders/

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Transcription:

Gresham Harkless 00:00
Most builders start with a definition of success that they inherited from somewhere else. It came from who knows where. How does it usually sound? More money, more status, more growth, more employees, more clients, more customers. It's usually something we hear. We're saying, hey, that sounds like success. That's what I want, so let me adopt that. But here's what ends up happening. Over time, that definition starts to feel incomplete, foreign.

If you're building something meaningful, you're in the right place. This is the I Am CEO Podcast. I'm gresh, and for over a decade, I've had the honor and the privilege of learning directly from CEOs, entrepreneurs, and business owners just like you on how to build. After recording more than 1600 episodes, one thing has become clear. Success isn't about following someone else's blueprint. And as I like to say on the show, if you run your own race, you can't lose, even when you feel the journey should be a straight and linear path. What I've come to find out is success is a lot more like a plate of spaghetti. So in this special segment and episode, I'm starting to curate and share some CEO hacks and CEO nuggets that I've been dying to share. Drawn from thousands of episodes with phenomenal guests that have provided awesome value on the show, but also my 10 years of business experience as well, too. These lessons are designed to strengthen the foundational principles that every business is built on and guided by a simple equation that we always go back to with our content. Visibility plus resources times connections equals success. This is practical wisdom you can apply almost immediately, so be sure to check out the show notes for more resources and next steps on how to level up. And of course, enjoy this special episode of the I Am CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 01:49

Most builders start with a definition of success that they inherited from somewhere else. It came from who knows where. How does it usually sound? More money, more status, more growth, more employees, more clients, more customers. It's usually something we hear. We're saying, hey, that sounds like success. That's what I want, so let me adopt that. But here's what ends up happening. Over time, that definition starts to feel in episode number 34, I had an absolutely phenomenal conversation with Rebecca Brown. She's a coach who helps professionals and entrepreneurs redefine what abundance actually looks like. What really came up for me and what really stood out was how people are successful on paper, but feel disconnected from what they're building. Think about it. You might have been there before yourself. You've achieved milestones, you've checked off boxes, you've done all the things, but that fulfillment doesn't actually match. How does this show up? If you're a builder, you're working on the business, you're doing all the things every single day and you have this quiet tension. You don't know exactly what it is, but it doesn't feel quite right. It just feels like it's not it. You don't necessarily know how to put it into words, but it's something that comes up and it's just that tension that's there on maybe alignment with the things that you're doing, or maybe goals you're trying to reach. After the execution that you're doing, there's just something there that doesn't feel quite right. You're moving forward, potentially you're doing the things, potentially you're crushing goals. But something feels a little bit off. Here's where the real shift happens. When you redefine success for yourself, for you, this success doesn't come from expectations, but it is based on alignment for you and yourself. And when you get clear, I won't say crystal clear, but you start to get clear around what that looks like. Decisions get a lot easier because they are very much so in alignment. You don't find yourself looking into somebody else's lane and trying to figure out what they're doing. You're able to lean into yours. Priorities sharpen, energy becomes more focused. This shows up perfectly with the strategy pillar choosing direction intentionally instead of defaulting to what's expected. You read that somebody did X, Y and Z to reach success. So you decide to do X, Y and Z, not realizing that the X, Y and Z doesn't align with who you are. Here's a question we're sitting with. Does success actually look like for me right now, not five years ago, not for somebody else, but for me right now, today, what does that look like? That clarity can change absolutely everything. This episode explores purpose, alignment, and how redefining success actually creates a more meaningful path forward. It was a phenomenal conversation that I had with Rebecca and it brings up something I say over and over and over and over again. If you run your own race, you can't lose. If you're looking in somebody else's lane and you're like, that's how they define success. I need to find a success like that. You're setting yourself up for that empty feeling, that not quite full feeling of chasing after the goals. If you're going to do entrepreneurship, if you're going to lean into that you might as well do it in your way and how you do it. So I implore you to run your own race. Because if you run your own race, you cannot lose.