IAM2137 – Founder and Author Helps People Navigate the Online Dating World

Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating. Services include profile creation, photo selection and photography, message writing, date planning, and coaching. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site: Tips & Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern-Day Matchmaker and the co-host of the popular dating podcast So, We Met Online…

A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The Washington Post, NPR, Good Day Philadelphia, CBS, and Ask Men, and she currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column.

Erika Ettin studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 (after a seven-year career as an economist). She has worked with nearly 1000 clients and is responsible for relationships, marriages, and the confidence some people simply need to “get out there.”

Website: A Little Nudge

LindkedIn: Erika Ettin

Instagram: Dating Coach Erika Ettin

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Transcription:

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Erika Ettin Teaser 00:00

And then for some people, I do everything. They just show up on their dates. So I actually do manage their accounts for them. I send messages to people. I reply, I have to embody this person. It sounds crazy. And when I started the business, I didn't know if anyone would want that. It's my most popular because people love not doing work.

Intro 00:21

Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview. If so, you've come to the right place. Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 00:46

Hello, Hello, Hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO Podcast and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Erika Ettin of a Little Nudge. Erika, it's awesome to have you on the show.

Erika Ettin 00:55

It's awesome to be here.

Gresham Harkless 00:57

What I want to do is just read a little bit more about Erika so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. And Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating. Services include profile creation, photo selection, photography, message writing, date planning, and coaching. She is also the author of the book Love at First Sight, Tips and Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern Day Matchmaker and the co-host of the popular dating podcast So We Met Online.

A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country including the Washington Post, NPR, Good Day Philadelphia, CBS, and Ask Men. She currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column. Erika Ettin studied economics at Cornell University, received her MBA from Georgetown, Hoya Saxa. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 after a 7 year career as an economist. She has worked with nearly 1,000 clients and is responsible for relationships, marriages and the confidence some people simply need to get out there. Erika, are you ready to speak to I AM CEO community?

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Gresham Harkless 02:05

All right, let's do it. So the first question I had was just to hear a little bit more about your CEO story and what led you to start your business.

Erika Ettin 02:09

Okay, I think some people know they want to start a business and then backfill what they actually want to do. I was the opposite of that. I had an idea and the only way to do it was to start it myself. So when I started my post college working career, it was never, I never thought to myself I'm going to be a boss, I'm going to be a CEO, I'm going to have my own business. Because my parents always taught me to take the stable approach. You take the one that might not be as fun, but you make money and you live a comfortable life.

So I worked for 7 and a half years at Fannie Mae. I know the listeners can't see me, but I am not meant to be in a cubicle. Let me just tell you that I'm wearing all kinds of funky stuff today that you can't see. This would not have flown at Fannie Mae. So I went to business school at night while I was there and I still didn't, I didn't even pay attention in entrepreneurship class at business school because I didn't think it was in the cards for me. But then in 2011 or late 2010, I had an idea. So I had been doing online dating for a while. I was a very early adopter.

And because my background's in economics, I started a spreadsheet to track my own online dating experience, which is totally nerdy, but it worked. So I was tracking like my response rate. If I wrote to someone, did he write back? My conversion rate, if he wrote back, are we going on a date? And I got pretty good. And my friends started asking me for help. One thing led to another. I quit my job, this is a very abridged version. Quit my job, started the business, a little nudge, and that was like 7 and a half years ago. So it was really, I had the idea of what I wanted to be doing, helping people with online dating in some tangible way that did not exist. So it's not like I was going to go apply to a company. There wasn't one. So I had to make one.

Gresham Harkless 04:03

That's interesting. I always love in like true entrepreneurial firm, you have an issue or something that you want to solve. Exactly. And then rather than like if there was a job that obviously there wasn't at that time, you decided to build your own job, so to speak.

Erika Ettin 04:18

Yeah, and it's a much better fit for me because I love running a business. I still get to do the math and the tracking and the spreadsheets, keep the spreadsheet for every client. But I also get to work with people. And I'm a night owl. And I think the corporate world favors morning people. I can work at night now and that's fine. And so running my own business, just having that freedom to do things on my own time is also something I really enjoy.

Gresham Harkless 04:44

Yeah, it makes sense you goaded around your strengths and how you work best, which is always important to do. So now I wanted to bit deeper and hear how ex people that are looking for to date online.

Erika Ettin 04:56

So I work I don't care male, female orientation, anything. So online dating site. I help the already existing online for example, if you were a client, we would talk either in person or over the phone or FaceTime or Skype, depending on where you're located. Clients in person in DC and New York, and then everyone else is remote. And you get to know you, get to know what you're looking for. We discuss what online dating sites you might wanna try. And then write your profile from scratch for whichever site or sites we decide on. I also look at your pictures because it is extremely hard to evaluate yourself when you look at your pictures.

So I am pretty blunt about what works and what doesn't and why. So once we finalize the pictures and the profiles, some people that's all they need. Most people, they need a little bit more than that. So for some people, I'll actually log into the sites, suggest people they may wanna reach out to, and then write their first message to get their foot in the door. Then it's up to them to follow through. And then for some people, I do everything. They just show up on their dates. So I actually do manage their accounts for them. I send messages to people. I reply, I have to embody this person. It sounds crazy. And when I started the business, I didn't know if anyone would want that. It's my most popular because people love not doing work.

Gresham Harkless 06:21

Exactly, delegate everything, right?

Erika Ettin 06:23

Exactly. So that's what I do. And then I added within the last few years a kind of very low level package where I'll write you a dating app profile for like tinder or bumble or hinge or one of those and that's just like less labor intensive for me.

Gresham Harkless 06:36

Okay that makes sense. Well it sounds like you cover all of the gamut of everything that you want.

Erika Ettin 06:39

I try.

Gresham Harkless 06:40

Yeah and it is great because you have some people that just might want the profile written or some people that are like can you just help me to reach out to that person?

Erika Ettin 06:47

Exactly. Because like some might lack the motivation and some might lack just the, they might just have writer's block, but are plenty motivated. So, and some might just be so busy that they know they're not going to do it on their own.

Gresham Harkless 07:02

And do you think fear also plays a big part as well?

Erika Ettin 07:04

Absolutely. But most people have at least gotten past their fear of trying online dating once they've reached out to me.

Gresham Harkless 07:12

That makes perfect sense. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So now I wanted to ask you for what I call your secret sauce. And this is something that you feel that's been pushing you. Far with you. There you go. After that and set you apart. What would you say your secret sauce might be?

Erika Ettin 07:25

This is something I struggle with because I am my business. When you go to my website, you scroll down, it's a picture of me. People have usually seen me when they hire me, either give a presentation or their friends work with me. So maybe this sounds conceited, but the secret sauce right now is me. And the reason I say I struggle with that is I can't replicate myself. So I think it's that I am equally left and right brain.

So I can think of things in an analytical way. I can give you advice based on actual data, but then I like to relate to people too. And I like to write. So while I think it's great that the secret sauce is that I have that combination of skills, it's also not because it's not replicable. Or maybe it is and I haven't found that person yet.

Gresham Harkless 08:11

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. But I know I do think when I was reading your bio and listening to how you got started. I was like, it's really rare to have somebody that is such a great people person, but also can really look at the numbers in it.

Erika Ettin 08:22

Yeah, so I had an employee for 3 years and she was only about the writing, which is what I hired her for. But to find someone who can be client facing and do the writing is different. Also, I guess part of my secret sauce is I'm uncannily organized. So if I'm managing 10 people's online dating accounts, like actually logging in, I don't remember a bazillion passwords and make sure I'm signing the right game every time and remember who their dates are with so that when they call me after I could be like, oh, how was the date with Joel? Somehow I keep that all straight.

Gresham Harkless 08:59

Yeah, no, that's certainly hard to do and definitely you don't want to say the wrong thing on the wrong profile or anything like that.

Erika Ettin 09:06

Oh my gosh, exactly. Not on what I've forgotten that.

Gresham Harkless 09:06

Exactly. Awesome. So now I wanted to switch gears a little bit and ask you for what I call a CEO hack. And this might be an app, a book.

Erika Ettin 09:15

Oh, I love these.

Gresham Harkless 09:16

Yeah. So something that makes you more effective and efficient.

Erika Ettin 09:19

Oh, this one's easy. And I tell everyone, but I don't even want to because then you're all going to use it. It's not special anymore. But it's a free service called Follow Up Then. Do you use follow up?

Gresham Harkless 09:29

I do, I swear by it.

Erika Ettin 09:31

Like every email I send, I blind carbon copy. So basically I use it so that I can blind carbon copy. You can use it in a few different ways, but I've learned carbon copy a time at which I want to see that email again. So basically it's something I want to remember to do. So let's say I say to you, I'm going to follow up with you in a week.

On that message, I'll blind carbon copy one week at followupthen.com and it'll send me that email back in one week. So that way I don't have to look at it for the week because I also enjoy a nice clean inbox. So follow up then is a boomerang for gmail. You can send messages later. Work really late at night want my clients thinking that one in the morning. To go out before I wake up the next day.

Gresham Harkless 10:21

Yeah, I love those two hacks and that's definitely a way so that you can leverage your best time of day that you work and then still be super efficient and not have to keep everything in your head because it's in your email.

Erika Ettin 10:31

Exactly. I just I like unclogging the email. I also don't like putting reminders in my calendar for things that are just like I need to email someone. So if I use follow up then it just comes back to me.

Gresham Harkless 10:41

Exactly. Exactly. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Now I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO nugget and this is like a word of wisdom or piece of advice. So imagine if you can jump into a time machine and talk to your younger business self, like what would you tell yourself?

Erika Ettin 10:54

Oh my goodness, gracious. That's a good question. I wish I had thought of it. I wish I had worked out of a co-working space sooner, to be honest. I used to meet all my clients at coffee shops and I found myself traveling to them, which was extremely time consuming. If I had an office sooner to just tell people, here's where to meet me, it would have saved me a lot of time. So I think that's one.

Gresham Harkless 11:17

That's a huge one. Just because I think especially as a CEO, entrepreneur, business owner, you're probably most valuable resource. If not for everybody, it's your time.

Erika Ettin 11:24

Exactly. You're trading time for money. And if I'm driving somewhere for half an hour, I'm losing that. So I really like the co-working space environment. It's good for my business.

Gresham Harkless 11:35

Yeah, it makes perfect sense. And definitely have an opportunity to also connect and collaborate with other people that are running businesses.

Erika Ettin 11:41

Oh yeah, I love that. I hire people who work here all the time for various things. One company shot some videos for me. Another, not to be morbid, a lawyer wrote my will. You can write anything here.

Gresham Harkless 11:54

Yeah, we all begin with the end of mind because we all have the same ending. So it's important to take advantage of that. Exactly. So it's a great provider as well. So now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question.

Erika Ettin 12:05

Oh. Okay.

Gresham Harkless 12:06

Which is the definition for what it means to be a CEO. And we have different quote unquote CEOs on this show. So I wanted to ask you what does being a CEO mean to you?

Erika Ettin 12:15

Well, what does it mean to me or what's the definition to me? I guess both. Both. Just mean to me, I haven't really thought about, I've thought about what does it mean to be an entrepreneur, but I haven't really thought what does it mean to be a CEO. In simplest, I just consider a CEO someone who runs the business or someone who is the top level of the business.

Now for me, I'm the CEO, yeah. I'm also the copywriter. I'm also the trash person. So I haven't given that a lot of thought because if you asked me what I am, I would say an entrepreneur, a founder, and while I am a CEO, and it says that in my email signature, that's not necessarily how I would first identify myself. I think that's a non-answered question.

Gresham Harkless 12:57

No, it makes perfect sense because what we're really trying to do is look at these words, entrepreneur, business owner, CEO, and look at what that means, what that doesn't mean.

Erika Ettin 13:06

Right, I am all of those, but I don't really identify, to be perfectly honest, if I were at a cocktail party

And someone asked what I do, I would much rather say business owner or entrepreneur than CEO, just because I'm one person. That sounds a little pretentious, no?

Gresham Harkless 13:21

No, it makes perfect sense that a lot of people definitely believe that, but I think it's definitely an opportunity to have that conversation around like maybe what is being a business owner? What is being an entrepreneur? What is actually being an entrepreneur?

Erika Ettin 13:30

But is every business owner an entrepreneur? I don't know. So all things to think about.

Gresham Harkless 13:35

Exactly, exactly. I truly appreciate you taking up some time out of your schedule.

Erika Ettin 13:39

Thanks for having me.

Gresham Harkless 13:40

Yes, what I wanted to do was pass you the mic just to see if there's anything additional you want to let our readers and our listeners know. And then of course, how best people can get a hold of you.

Erika Ettin 13:47

Oh boy, I have tow things to say to listeners. One, obviously if you need some help with online dating, contact me. But two, if you're complacent in your job and dread getting up on Monday morning, it's time to think about whether you should continue in that job or try something else. Maybe it's another job. Not everyone is meant to start a business. But think about if you're passionate about something and if it's worth really pursuing that because it's a much more rewarding life when you do what you love.

Gresham Harkless 14:15

I definitely agree with that. And that's good reminder just because everybody's not necessarily gonna start a business but again try to follow your passion and enjoy as much work as you're doing.

Erika Ettin 14:24

Yeah because even if you work more I work much more than I used to at Fannie Mae but at least I like what I'm doing right? The day flies I could use a 30 hour day.

Gresham Harkless 14:33

Exactly, you're not on a cubicle, right?

Erika Ettin 14:35

Oh my God, those cubicles, oh, yes. I can't even, I was like, it was funny, my mom reminded me that when I started at Fannie Mae, I apparently said to her, I don't think I can do this. And then I said once, and I am a very happy person, so please don't take this literally. I told her once I was gonna jump out a window if I had to work in the basement of Fannie Mae, which was ironic, because there are no windows.

Gresham Harkless 15:00

There you go. So that would have been interesting. Awesome, if people, you wanna reach out to you, what's the best way for them to do that?

Erika Ettin 15:07

You can go to my website, alittlenudge.com. You can email me info.iamalittlenudge. Those are the best ways to reach me.

Gresham Harkless 15:15

Okay, awesome. Awesome. Awesome. What we'll do is we'll have those links and information and show notes so anybody can follow up with you. But again, I truly appreciate you for taking some time out of your schedule awesome.

Outro 15:25

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by CBNation and Blue16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co. I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Check out the latest and greatest apps, books, and Habits to level up your business as CEOhacks.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless, Jr. Thank you for listening. Thanks for watching!

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