IAM1953 – Connection Counselor Helps You Unlock the Best Version of Yourself

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Joe Kwon 00:00

I believe that everyone has tremendous value right now already, right? You were born already, you had that value. What happens is, it often gets buried underneath cultural norms, expectations of our parents, of our bosses, of our society fear.

Fear of being great, of taking risks.

Intro 00:21

Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups, and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview?

If so, you've come to the right place. Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you're in search of.

This is the I AM CEO podcast.

Gresham Harkless 00:48

Hello, hello, hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast, and I appreciate you listening to this episode. If you've been listening this year, you know that we hit 1600 episodes at the beginning of this year. We're doing something a little bit different where we were purposing our favorite episodes around certain categories, topics, or as I like to call them, the business pillars that we think are going to be extremely impactful for CEOs, entrepreneurs, business owners, and what I like to call CB nation architects who are looking to level up their organizations.

This month, we are focusing on finishing it out fighting the good fight and closing out the job. I think just as important as it is to start something, it's even more important in how you conclude it or finish it out. So if you think of the different things that you can finish out, it could be everything from a project, it could be from a day, it could also be from a business in and of itself and it could also of course be for the year. So when you think of finishing out, I want you to really think of these episodes because what we're going to really focus on is the last question that we really ask, which is defining what it means to be a CEO.

And all the creative, innovative, and I think truly insightful questions that we received from this question is really what we want to highlight during the show. But of course, we want you to enjoy the entire episode and think about how you're going to finish things out and how you're going to finish things out strongly. So sit back and enjoy this special episode of the I AM CEO podcast.

Hello, hello, hello. This is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast and have a very special guest on the show today. I have Joe Kwon of Connection Counselor. Joe, it's awesome to have you on the show.

Joe Kwon 02:21

Gresh, I'm so excited to be here and meet you and participate in your wonderful program.

Gresham Harkless 02:26

Yeah, absolutely. I always say my job is to hold up the microphone and you do the awesome work. So I appreciate you hopping on the show. Before we jump in, I want to read a little bit more about Joe so you can hear about all the awesome things that he's doing.

As the Connection Counselor, Joe teaches busy professionals how to unlock the 12 super personal skills that elevate your career. He's the author of the groundbreaking Unlock Your Leadership series, including Unlock your Executive Presence, which finally wrestles to the ground this elusive ability.

Acclaimed coaching keynote speaker with over 20 years of experience in corporate America, his goal is to help you unlock the best version of yourself. Joe also hosts The Big Lie and Why It Works podcast. And when he is not teaching, he loves to spend time training in Aikido.

Joe holds a BA in psychology from the University of Virginia, a JD from Georgetown University, Hoya Saxa, and lives in New Jersey with his family.

Joe, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

Joe Kwon 03:21

Ready to go. Just want to mention undergrad UVA. So, University of Virginia. Yeah.

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Gresham Harkless 03:26

Okay. And the JD from Georgetown, right? Okay.

Joe Kwon 03:29

Yeah.

Gresham Harkless 03:29

We'll definitely take that and make sure I get that in again, cause that's important. To kick everything off, I wanted to rewind the clock a little bit, hear a little bit more on how you got started.

Could you take us through your CEO story? We'll let you get started with all the awesome things you're working on.

Joe Kwon 03:41

Yeah, absolutely. So my whole life, I've just loved talking to people. Coaching is maybe too glamorous of a word. Just exchanging ideas, being a sounding board. So I've been doing that my whole career just because that's who I am. Just how what you do is Gresh is part of who you are. And one day I'm on the phone with I hope she doesn't mind. I use her name, Paula Portal, former colleague of mine from Argentina. So I met her on a business trip. We work for the same company and I guess I must have made a good impression on her. We stayed in touch over the years. She's a seasoned executive.

Several years later, we are both at different companies. I get an email from her and she says, Joe, I really want to invest in myself this year and I want to hire a personal coach and I'm willing to pay for it. Would you be my personal coach? And Gresh, my mind just exploded. I was like, wait, I can get paid for what I was already doing for free. The reason why that's my origin story was I didn't truly appreciate the value of those conversations of those insights. I was going to do it anyway, whether I was getting paid or not, because that's who I am.

But then I started thinking, wait a second. There is a business. There is a value that people will gladly, gladly exchange, whatever compensation happens to be, it doesn't have to be money necessarily for the insights and the coaching I receive. That's how the Connection Counselor was born.

Gresham Harkless 05:11

Nice. I absolutely love that. And it's often other people that often will say, Hey, you should get paid for that. Or, Hey, I will buy your service that kind of opens up the floodgates to all the awesome things that we can do.

Joe Kwon 05:21

Here's the funny thing, Gresh, now that you say that, the time it actually became a business was not that first one, right? It became a business when I was having another conversation with a former boss of mine. We were just talking about something that she was struggling with at work. And then at the end of the conversation, she says to me, Hey, Joe, you're really good at this. You're better at this than I am. Now, I can't teach her anything about the law. We're lawyers by training, but I could teach her about all those sort of connection principles.

Here was the key, Gresh, I stopped and I said to myself, Hey, I'm not going to say her name so and so, it's funny you mentioned that. I just started a side business coaching, would you mind if I send you a proposal, look it over and if you want, this way we can talk on a regular basis. I can give you more time and attention. And what did she say? She said, of course. She became my second client.

That's that kind of recognition that it's not just a favor. It's not just something I do with friends. It's a viable business. That was the key game changer for me.

Gresham Harkless 06:22

Yeah. I know we touched on it a little bit when I read your bio, you did as well, too. Could you take us through a little bit more on how you work with clients and what exactly that process looks like?

Joe Kwon 06:30

Yeah, absolutely. So my philosophy, philosophy seems like too grandiose of a word, but my approach is I believe that everyone has tremendous value right now already. You were born, already you had that value. What happens is it often gets buried underneath cultural norms, expectations of our parents, of our bosses, of our society fear, right? Fear of being great of taking risks.

So the work that I do doesn't seek to change you in a way to change you into a new person. I've started calling myself a leadership transformation coach. All it does is help you unlock what was already there, but was kind of like locked inside. So it's unleashing beast mode.

Gresham Harkless 07:18

Engage beast mode. I love it.

Joe Kwon 07:20

That has been so fulfilling for me. So it's like, imagine like you see a tiger in their cage and the tiger is like all docile. They don't know they're a tiger. Or to use what's that movie? You're a bear with these claws in his head.

That's not a great example, but people don't recognize how powerful they are. Just to help them understand that, and that's the process. That's what I do for people.

Gresham Harkless 07:42

Yeah, absolutely. And I guess even things that happen within our lives can reduce us from that ability to really be our best selves and unlock that greatness.

Joe Kwon 07:50

Yeah. And I love how you say zone of genius. I'm not sure if that's a term you came up with, but that really resonates. Where did you hear that from?

Gresham Harkless 07:56

It was from, and I'm losing the book leap of it's from a gaze Gay Hendricks. That's the name of the author. Yes. It's a really phenomenal book. I often say zone of genius. Some people say zone of brilliance, but I think being able to find that, I love it because we talked about so many times we're looking externally for a bit when in reality, sometimes we have seeds of it already within us and things that we've done.

Sometimes we just ignore it. I love that you're able to help people find that and bring it out.

Joe Kwon 08:24

For me, it's all about alignment. Are you aligned with what I call super personal skills, right? Are you aligned with the power that you already have or are you busy trying to be something else, which you can be very good at?

You can be very good at impersonating, but you're never going to be as good at being someone else. You will be good at being who you're meant to be.

Gresham Harkless 08:45

Yeah, absolutely. I do say sometimes if you we are always running somebody else's race, but if you run your own race, you cannot lose. And we're always running somebody else's race, which sometimes gets us in trouble.

I wanted to ask you for what I call your secret sauce, and this could be for you personally or your business or a combination of both, but is it that ability to see that within individuals and bringing that out? Do you feel like that's part of your secret sauce?

Joe Kwon 09:07

Yeah, that definitely is. There's probably one other thing that I would mention and it's my ability to focus and communicate the hidden principles behind why things work. So let me use an example that seems to get a good response. Charisma, right? You're very charismatic. Lots of people would love to have your charisma.

If they asked you how you're charismatic, I'm guessing you would have difficulty explaining exactly what it is. You're like, I'm Gresh or I'm friendly or I'm myself. That's not really helpful.

Gresham Harkless 09:41

Just like people.

Joe Kwon 09:42

Yeah, you'd like people. I like people too, but no one likes me, right? So, there's a challenge here. What happens is, you not knowing is normal. Roger Federer, you ask him how he hits his serve, he can't break it down. He's forgotten more about hitting a serve than we'll ever learn. But that doesn't help anyone get his serve or become better. So where I come in is I break down those hidden principles and charisma is a good example.

If you look at all the information that's out there about charisma, they'll describe traits that charismatic people will have, or they'll give you like a list and they'll say stuff like posture, eye contact, be yourself. You can do all of those things in isolation, but they will not generate charisma. So what I've done is break it down totally.

Coincidentally, this happened that I figured this out. But once I figured that out, it was super powerful.

Gresham Harkless 10:32

I wanted to switch gears a little bit, and ask you for what I call a CEO hack. So this could be like an app, a book, or a habit that you have, but what's something that makes you more effective and efficient?

Joe Kwon 10:42

It's never finish until you finish. Okay, so let's say you have ten chapters to write in a book. Normally, you would write the first chapter, you would put it down, and gosh, how hard is it to start that second chapter, right? It's really hard. Hard because you have the sense of completion. So what I always do is once I get close to finishing the first chapter, it could be anything, right?

Could be a podcast, could be just anything you prepare. I always, even if it's only like the first word of the second chapter, I always do a little bit more.

Gresham Harkless 11:16

Awesome. Now I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO nugget. So this could be a word of wisdom or a piece of advice. It might be something you would tell a client, or if you hopped into a time machine, you might tell your younger business self.

Joe Kwon 11:27

All right. We've touched upon this a little bit before, but I'll put a finer point on it. I can't claim credit for this one. I originally heard of it from a quote by a Scottish chess champion in a book that I was reading. His name is I think Jonathan Rouse, and he's like a Scottish chess grandmaster. And what he said, and I'm paraphrasing here is if you want to be a chess champion, a chess grandmaster, you will never succeed. You have to choose to be a grandmaster. You're not yet, right? Obviously, you haven't gotten there yet. But when you choose that as your identity, then everything you do, every action, every decision is informed by your identity.

Whereas when you just say you want to do something, there are all the gaps and the things that you don't have yet because people often think that our choices make us who we are. And our choices are important, right? Because they show who we are. But really, we do the things because we've already decided who we are, and all our actions flow from that, right? So, to me, that's a very powerful principle. When you choose to be a podcaster, and then you're off to the races, and every call you took, every conversation you had, probably, nudged and informed what you did versus, you know what, this is a hobby of mine.

You never would have had the success you had, Gresh, if you hadn't chosen that identity for yourself from the get go.

Gresham Harkless12:56

Absolutely love that Joe. Now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. We're hoping to have different quote and quote CEOs on the show.

So Joe, what does being a CEO mean to you?

Joe Kwon 13:06

Yeah, to me, it's pretty simple and straightforward. I'm in charge of serving others. Each organization has a different purpose in terms of how they serve, but the organization only exists to serve others, right? Without serving others, there's no reason for the organization and it won't be sustainable. My specific service that I provide is unlocking people's full potential by helping them understand better how to connect to themselves.

We've talked about this, right? Like your identity, what you're meant to do, the alignment, and also how to connect to others. So that's the charisma, the executive presence, and, the other things that I teach. When you have those two, when you understand let me connect to the best version of myself and let me understand how to connect that and communicate that and deliver that best to other people, then,  I'm not going to say you're going to become a CEO, but what I am going to say is you will fulfill your greatest potential, whether it means you go here halfway or way above. That's not important.

Wherever you were meant to go, you have a better chance of getting there by doing that than by not being connected and living someone else's life or thinking you're so great. But you can't connect to anyone else. So no one knows who you are.

Gresham Harkless 14:20

Truly appreciate, that definition. I appreciate your time even more. What I want us to do is pass you the mic, so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional you can let our readers and listeners know. And of course, how best we can get a hold of you find out about your book and all the awesome things and podcasts that you have as well, too.

Joe Kwon 14:36

Sure. Absolutely. So I have two podcasts. One is called Why It Works, it explores hidden principles about why things work, and it could be any topic. I've done stuff that's obvious, like sales performance management. I've done stuff that's not obvious, like heartbreak and anger.

My other podcast is called The Big Lie, and you'll like this Gresh, what is the lie that you've believed for so long, and then when you realized it was a lie, everything changed. So that's my newest podcast. I have a guest coming up. She's a co-worker that I worked with. Then we may do something on Black Lives Matter, which I'm very excited about.

In terms of my books, you can find them on Amazon. It's the Unlock Your series. You can just Google my name, Joseph Kwon, Unlock Your Charisma, Unlock Your Executive Presence. The easiest way to get in touch with me and learn more about what I do is just my website www.connectioncounselor.com. From there, you can get to all my, various socials, LinkedIn, Twitter they'll be on there, or email me. And yeah, I would love to hear from your listeners and just continue the conversation.

Gresham Harkless 15:40

Yeah, absolutely. I truly appreciate that. We will have the links and information in the show notes for your books, podcasts and everything as well too so that it's super easy to be able to find that.

I love that podcast. You're absolutely right at the nail on the head. I love that kind of concept because I think so many times we forget that we can sometimes create our reality and that lie that we tell ourselves that may not actually be true, might be holding us back and it might not allow us to reach our full potential.

So I love that you're having conversation obviously on the podcast, but in so many different ways around that and how we can unleash our best selves and really take things to another level. So Joe, truly appreciate you again, my friend, and I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the day.

Outro 16:17

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co. I AM CEO is not just a phrase. It's a community.

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This has been the I AM CEO podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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