IAM113- Founder and Author Helps People Navigate the Online Dating World

Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating. Services include profile creation, photo selection and photography, message writing, date planning, and coaching. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site: Tips & Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern-Day Matchmaker and the co-host of the popular dating podcast So, We Met Online…

A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The Washington Post, NPR, Good Day Philadelphia, CBS, and Ask Men, and she currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column.

Erika Ettin studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 (after a seven-year career at as an economist). She has worked with nearly 1000 clients and is responsible for relationships, marriages, and the confidence some people simply need to “get out there.”

• CEO Hack: Followupthen and Boomerang for emails
• CEO Nugget: Working in a co-working space to save time
• CEO Defined: One who runs the business

Website: http://www.alittlenudge.com/

Facebook: A Little Nudge
Twitter: @ALittleNudge
Additional links: So, We Met Online Podcast
https://www.amazon.com/Love-First-Site-Modern-Day-Matchmaker/dp/163299013X

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Transcription:

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Intro 0:02

Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups, and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 0:27

Hello, hello, hello, this is Gresh from the I AM CEO Podcast and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Erika Ettin of A Little Nudge. Erika, it is awesome to have you on the show.

Erika Ettin 0:35

It's awesome to be here.

Gresham Harkless 0:37

Great, great. Well, what I want to do is just read a little bit more about Erika so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. And Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating. Services include profile creation, photo selection, photography, message writing, date, planning, and coaching. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site: Tips & Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern-Day Matchmaker and the co-host of the popular dating podcast So, We Met Online. A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The Washington Post, NPR, Good Day Philadelphia, CBS, and Ask Men.

She currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column. Erika Ettin studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown for your Saxa. She started A Little Nudge in 2011, after a seven-year career as an economist. She has worked with nearly 1000 clients and is responsible for relationships, marriages, and the confidence some people simply need to get out there. Erika, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

Erika Ettin 1:43

Oh, I was born ready.

Gresham Harkless 1:44

All right, let's do it. So, the first question I had was just to hear I guess a little bit more about your CEO story. And what led you to start your business?

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Erika Ettin 1:50

Okay, well, I think some people know they want to start a business and then backfill what they actually want to do. I was the opposite of that I had an idea. And the only way to do it was to start it myself. So, when I started me, I guess, post-college working career, it was never, I never thought to myself, I'm going to be a boss, I'm going to be CEO, and I have my own business. Because my parents always taught me to take a stable approach. You take the one that might not be as fun, but you make money, and we live a comfortable life.

So, I worked for seven and a half years at Fannie Mae. I know the listeners can't see me. But I am not meant to be in a cubicle. Let me just tell you that I'm wearing all kinds of funky stuff today that you can't see this would not have flown at Fannie Mae. So, I went to business school at night while I was there. And I still didn't even pay attention and entrepreneurship class at Georgia business school because I didn't think it was in the cards for me. But then, in 2011, or late 2010, I had an idea.

So, I had been doing online dating for a while I was a very early adopter. And because of my background in economics, I started a spreadsheet to track my own online dating experience, which is totally nerdy, but it works. So, I was tracking my response rate. If I wrote to someone, did he write back? My conversion rate, if he wrote back, are we going on a date, I got pretty good. And my friends started asking me for help. One thing led to another, I quit my job in a very abridged version, quit my job started the business A Little Nudge. And that was like seven and a half years ago.

So, it was really I had the idea of what I wanted to be doing helping people with online dating in some tangible way. That did not exist. So, it's not like I was going to go apply to a company, there wasn't one. So, I had to make one.

Gresham Harkless 3:46

That what you're saying is always love and like a true entrepreneurial firm, you kind of have an issue or something that you want to solve. And then rather than like if there was a job that obviously there wasn't at that time you decided to kind of build your own jobs, so to speak, it kind of sounds.

Erika Ettin 4:02

Yeah. And it's a much better fit for me because I love running a business, I still get to do the math and the tracking and the spreadsheets. Keep a spreadsheet for every client. But I also get to work with people. And I'm a night owl. And I think the corporate world favors morning people. I can work at night now. And that's fine. And so running my own business, just having that freedom to do things on my own time is also something I really enjoy.

Gresham Harkless 4:29

Yeah, it makes sense. You kind of build it around your strengths and how you work best, which is always important to do so. Now I wanted to kind of drill down a little bit deeper and hear how exactly you help these people that are looking for love and looking to kind of date online.

Erika Ettin 4:40

Oh, well. So, I work with individual clients. I don't care about males or females, I don't care about age orientation or anything. So, I don't have an online dating site. I help you succeed using the already existing online dating sites. So, for example, if you're a client, we wouldn't talk either in person or over the phone or FaceTime, or Skype, depending on where you're located. I meet clients in person in DC and New York, and then everyone else is remote.

And I get to know you get to know what you're looking for, we discuss what online dating sites you might want to try. I then write your profile from scratch for whichever site or sites we decide on, I also look at your pictures, because it is extremely hard to evaluate yourself when you look at your pictures. So, I am really blunt about what works and what doesn't, and why.

So, once we finalize the pictures in the profile, for some people that's all they need. Most people need a little bit more than that. So, for some people, I'll actually log into the sites suggest people they may want to reach out to, and then write their first message to get their foot in the door, then it's up to them, to follow through. And then for some people, I do everything, they just show up on their date.

So, I actually do manage their accounts for them. I send messages to people I reply, I have to embody this person, it sounds crazy. And when I started the business, I didn't know if anyone would want that. It's my most popular because people love not doing work.

Gresham Harkless 6:09

Delegate everything, right?

Erika Ettin 6:11

So, that's what I do. And then I added within the last few years a kind of very low-level package where I'll write you a dating app profile for like Tinder or Bumble or hand you're one of those. And that's just less labor-intensive for me.

Gresham Harkless 6:24

Okay, that makes sense. Well, it sounds like your kind of cover the gamut of everything. And it is great because you have some people that just might want the profile written or some people that are like, can you just help me to kind of reach out to that person?

Erika Ettin 6:35

Exactly. Because like, some might lack the motivation. And some might lack just then they might just have writer's block and are plenty motivated. So, some might just be so busy that they know they're not going to do it on their own.

Gresham Harkless 6:50

Right. And do you think fear also plays a big part as well?

Erika Ettin 6:53

Absolutely. But most people have at least gotten past their fear of trying online dating once they've reached out to me.

Gresham Harkless 7:01

That makes perfect sense. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So, number one, it asks you for what I call your secret sauce. And this is something that you feel kind of distinguishes you and sets you apart, what would you say your secret sauce might be?

Erika Ettin 7:14

Well, this is something I struggle with because I am my business. When you go to my website, you scroll down, it's a picture of me. People have usually seen me when they hire me either to give a presentation, or their friend has worked with me. So, maybe this sounds conceited. But the secret sauce right now is me and the reason I say I struggle with that is I can't replicate myself.

So, I think it's that I am equally left and right-brained. So, I can think of things in an analytical way. I can give you advice based on actual data. But then I like to relate to people when I like to write. So, while I think it's great that the secret sauce is that I have that combination of skills, it's also not because it's not replicable. Or maybe it is and I haven't found that person yet.

Gresham Harkless 8:02

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. But I know I do think and when I was reading your bio, and listening to know how you got started, I was like, that's really rare to have somebody that is such a great people person but also can really look at the numbers.

Erika Ettin 8:13

Yeah, so I had an employee for three years. And she was all only about the writing, which is what I've hired her for, but to find someone who can be client-facing and do the writing, it's just, it's different. Also, I guess part of my secret sauce is I'm uncannily organized.

Gresham Harkless 8:32

Okay.

Erika Ettin 8:32

So, if I'm managing 10, people's online dating accounts, like actually logging in, I don't remember a zillion passwords, and make sure I'm assigning the right name every time and remember who their dates are with, so that when they call me after I could be like, Oh, how was the date with Joel? Somehow I keep that all straight?

Gresham Harkless 8:52

Well, no, that's certainly hard to do. And definitely, you don't want to say the wrong thing on their own profile or anything like that. Exactly. Awesome. So, now I wanted to switch gears a little bit and ask you for what I call a CEO hack. And this might mean an app or a book. Something that makes you more effective and efficient.

Erika Ettin 9:11

Oh, well, this one's easy. And I tell everyone, but I kind of don't even want to because then you're all gonna use it. It's not special anymore. But it's a free service called Followupthen do you use follow? Like every email, I send I blind carbon copy. So, basically, I use it so that I can blind carbon copy. You can use it in a few different ways. But I've learned carbon copy a time at which I want to see that email again.

So, basically, it's something I want to remember to do. So, let's say I say to you, I'm going to follow up with you in a week on that message, a blind carbon copy one week at followupthen.com And it'll send me that email back in one week. So, that way, I don't have to look at it for the week because I also enjoy a nice clean inbox. So, Followupthen is a savior. I also use Boomerang for Gmail. Boomerang, you can send messages later. So, I do a lot of work really late at night. I don't necessarily want my clients to think I'm going to answer in the morning. So, I program it to go out before I woke up the next day.

Gresham Harkless 10:14

Right. Yeah, I love those two hacks. And this is definitely a way that you can leverage your best time a day that you weren't and still be super efficient and not have to keep everything in your head because it's in your email.

Erika Ettin 10:25

Exactly. I just like unclogging the email. I also don't like putting reminders in my calendar for things that are just like, I need to email someone. So, if I use Followupthen it just comes back to me.

Gresham Harkless 10:35

Exactly, exactly. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Now I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO nugget. And this is like a word of wisdom. Yeah, word of wisdom or a piece of advice. So, imagine, if you can jump into a time machine and talk to your younger business self, what would you tell yourself?

Erika Ettin 10:48

Oh, my goodness, Gresham. That's a good question. I wish I had thought. Ah, I wish I had worked out of a co-working space sooner. To be honest. I used to meet all my clients at coffee shops, and I found myself traveling to them, which was extremely time-consuming. If I had had an office sooner to just tell people, here's where to meet me, it would have saved me a lot of time. So, I think that's one.

Gresham Harkless 11:12

That's a huge one. Just because I think especially as a CEO, entrepreneur, and business owner, you're probably the most valuable resource if not for everybody. It's your time.

Erika Ettin 11:20

Exactly. You're trading time for money. And if I'm driving somewhere for half an hour, I'm losing that. So, I really liked the co-working space environment that's good for my business.

Gresham Harkless 11:31

Yeah, makes perfect sense. And definitely have an opportunity to kind of also connect and collaborate with other people that are running businesses.

Erika Ettin 11:37

Oh, yeah. I love that I hire people who work here all the time for various things. I mean, one company shot some video for me another not to be morbid. A lawyer wrote my will.

Gresham Harkless 11:52

Yeah, well, we all begin within because we all have the same thing. So, it's important to kind of take advantage of that. It's a great reminder as well. So, now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO. And we have different quote-unquote, CEOs on the show. So, I want to ask you, what does being a CEO mean to you?

Erika Ettin 12:14

What does it mean to me? Or what's the definition to me? I guess both. Just mean it to me, I haven't really thought about it, I've thought about what it means to be an entrepreneur. But I haven't really thought about What does it mean to be a CEO? I mean, it's simplest, I just consider a CEO, someone who runs the business or someone who the top level of the business. Now for me, I'm the CEO. Yeah, I'm also the copywriter, also the trash person. So, I haven't given that a lot of thought, because if you asked me what I am, I would say an entrepreneur, a founder, and well, I am a CEO. And it says that in my email signature, that's not necessarily how I would first identify myself. I think that's kind of a non-answer.

Gresham Harkless 13:00

No, it makes perfect sense. Because what we're really trying to do is kind of look at these words entrepreneur, business owner, CEO, and I'm looking at what that means and what that doesn't mean.

Erika Ettin 13:09

Technically, I am all of those, but I don't really identify, to be perfectly honest, if I were at a cocktail party, and someone asked what I do, I would much rather say business owner or entrepreneur than CEO, just because I'm one person. That sounds a little pretentious, no?

Gresham Harkless 13:23

No, it makes perfect sense that a lot of people would definitely believe that. But I think it's definitely an opportunity to have that conversation around like, what is being a business owner? What is actually being an entrepreneur?

Erika Ettin 13:33

What do every business owner, and entrepreneur do? I don't know. So, things to think about.

Gresham Harkless 13:38

Exactly, exactly. Well, I truly appreciate you taking some time out of your schedule.

Erika Ettin 13:42

Thanks for having.

Gresham Harkless 13:43

Yes. What I wanted to do was passionate the mic just to see if there's anything additional, you want to let our readers and our listeners know. And then of course, how best people can hold off you.

Erika Ettin 13:50

Oh, boy. Well, I have two things to say to listeners. One. Obviously, if you need some help with online dating, contact me. But two, if you're complacent in your job, and dread getting up on Monday morning, it's time to think about whether you should continue in that job or try something else. Maybe it's another job. Not everyone is meant to start a business. But think about if you're passionate about something and if it's worth really pursuing that because it's a much more rewarding life. When you do what you love.

Gresham Harkless 14:19

I definitely agree with that. And it's a good reminder, just because everybody's not necessarily going to start a business again, try to follow your passion and enjoy as much work as you're doing.

Erika Ettin 14:29

Yeah, because even if you work more, I work much more than I used to at Fannie Mae, but at least I like what I'm doing right the day flies I can use a 30-hour day.

Gresham Harkless 14:37

Exactly. A cubicle right?

Erika Ettin 14:44

I can't even like it was funny. My mom reminded me that when I started at Fannie Mae, I apparently said to her criminalizing I can do this. And then I said once and I am a very happy person, so please don't take this literally I tell once I was going to jump out a window if I had to work in the basement of Fannie Mae because there is no way.

Gresham Harkless 15:07

That would have been interesting. Well, awesome if people want to reach out to you what's the best way for them to do that?

Erika Ettin 15:13

Can go to my website, alittlenudge.com. You can email me at info@alittlenudge. Those are the best ways to reach me.

Gresham Harkless 15:21

Okay, awesome, awesome, awesome. What we'll do is we'll have those links and information in the show notes. So, anybody can follow up with you. But again, I truly appreciate you for taking some time out of your schedule.

Erika Ettin 15:29

My pleasure.

Gresham Harkless 15:30

Awesome.

Outro 15:32

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co

I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes Google Play and everywhere you listen to podcasts, SUBSCRIBE, and leave us a five-star rating grab CEO gear at www.ceogear.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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