IAM1247 – CEO and Author Helps the Introverted People to Access More Opportunities

Nick Shelton is a speaker and coach for introverted career professionals as well as a best-selling author of the book An Introvert’s Guide To World Domination. He has been fine-tuning the craft of effective, high-level social strategy and networking for twenty years. Coupled with extensive research and sixteen years of experience in the oil and gas industry, Nick has successfully built a strong, international network of friends, colleagues, and associates. Now he teaches others how to do the same by navigating social events and situations with ease to upgrade their lives and lifestyles.

• CEO Story: Started as a shy, socially awkward, and introverted person. Realizing a lot of opportunities he missed. To learn from it, he did extensive research and built a network of friends covering up to 39 countries. People started inviting him to speak and kept growing.
• Business Service: His book gives a step-by-step guide on how to be known, have real connections, and maintain those connections. He does workshops as well.
• Secret Sauce: Understanding relationships and teaching from the actual scenario on the field, not just by theory.
• CEO Hack: Time management. The recommended book ’The Perfect Day Formula’ by Craig Ballantyne talks about how to structure your day.
• CEO Nugget: Maintain your relationships. Catching up with old friends sending them regards.
• CEO Defined: Being a good leader. Leading a good example.

Website: www.connectedintrovert.com

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00:02 – Intro

Are you ready to hear business stories and learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales, and level up your business from awesome CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresh values your time and is ready to share with you the valuable info you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO podcast.

00:42 – Gresham Harkless

Hello. Hello. Hello. this is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast. I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Nick Shelton of Connectedintrovert.com dot. Nick, it's great to have you on the show.

00:51 – Nick Shelton

Thanks for having me. Wonderful to be here.

00:54 – Gresham Harkless

Yes, wonderful to have you as well too. And super excited to hear about all the awesome things that you're doing. But before we do that, I want to read a little bit more about Nick so you can hear about some of those awesome things. Nick is a speaker and coach for introverted career professionals as well as a bestselling author of the book An Introvert's Guide to World Domination. He's been fine-tuning the craft of effective high-level social strategy and networking for 20 years.

Coupled with extensive research and 16 years of experience in the oil and gas industry, Nick has successfully built a strong international network of friends, colleagues, and associates. Now he teaches others how to do the same by navigating social events and situations with ease, to upgrade their lives and lifestyles. Nick, super excited to have you on the show. Are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

01:42 – Nick Shelton

I am ready to speak. It's going to be great.

01:44 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome. It's going to be awesome. So let's get it started then. So to kind of kick everything off, I wanted to rewind the clock a little bit and hear a little bit more about how you got started, what I call your CEO story.

01:53 – Nick Shelton

Okay. I got started by being shy, socially awkward, and introverted. Those are all separate things. But I was all of those. I found out that I was missing out on all kinds of opportunities and I wanted to be able to access those. I'd see people doing a lot of things that I wanted to do and having access to things I wanted to have access to. And I said, how do people do this? I don't know how it's done. So when I went out and looked for resources for this.

I found that most of the stuff out there was for regular people and not for people like me who had to overcome something so that they just say, oh, just go up and start talking to people. That's not going to happen. You can't do that. But then, so I said, what if I can't find that resource? I need to engage my superpower of observation, see what people are doing, and make notes of that. And not only what could I do, but what would I do? So learning the steps on what I could and would do and navigating the social scene in a way that I could do it.

By using myself as the lab rat and doing this through trial and error, I was able to have access to a lot of things, meet a lot of great people, be to 39 countries, and build networks in all those countries. And other people started asking me, how do you do that? Can you show me how to do that? And then I said, okay, well, there's something here. People started inviting me to speak. That's what brought me up to the current day.

It's just more and more people wanted, once they saw the results, they wanted to be able to do it themselves. And then, so I said, oh, other people could use this as well. That's the short version of that journey.

[00:03:34. – Gresham Harkless

Nice. Well, I appreciate you sharing that journey so much. And I think what was kind of coming to my mind is that I often say, like, if you run your race, she can't lose. And I think sometimes we get caught up in seeing like you said, like somebody's having, you know, success, however, we define it, and trying to figure out sometimes how we do that, how they did that, and forgetting that we're unique. We have our kind of way of doing things.

We have things that we might have to work through, you know, ourselves are things that we want to kind of get better at. But if we lean more into, like, who we are, we can observe, as you said, and leverage whatever our superpower might be. It becomes us getting that success, but getting it on our terms and running our race to do that. So I love that it sounds like you were able to do that.

04:13 – Nick Shelton

Yes, exactly. You summed it up perfectly.

04:17 – Gresham Harkless

Perfect, perfect, perfect. So I wanted to drill down a little bit more. I know you mentioned that you do a lot of speaking. You have a lot of opportunities. So I wanted to hear a little bit more about how you serve your clients, hear a little bit more about your book and all the awesome things that you're doing to kind of help people make that impact.

04:30 – Nick Shelton

Right.

04:30 – Gresham Harkless

So I have the book, as you.

04:31 – Nick Shelton

Mentioned, an introvert's guide to world domination right there, available on Amazon. And that is pretty much the stepping-off point where people can learn some actual real steps that they can use to tell people to get known, make real connections, and then maintain those connections. And so that gives you the groundwork of that. And then I also, so I serve people through the book. I also do workshops. It's not just for shy, introverted, and socially awkward people.

I do a lot of workshops, say, for real estate folks, because real estate is a business that's about relationships. And so, however, if you can make real relationships and connect with people, then you are going to get those referrals. You are going to get people coming to you when they're ready to buy and sell. So, you know, they always want that edge. So I do workshops for them. I do workshops for financial advisors because once again, it's about relationships. You can't say, hey, give me your money, I will handle it for you.

I know you don't feel you just met me. You want to, you have to connect with people. And so I also do workshops for, you know, introverts as well, and shy and socially awkward people. But I'd say the majority are in the industries that revolve around relationships. I do a lot of workshops, and I also do a lot of speaking for those industries. So that's how I pretty much serve my client base, is through speaking workshops. And the book.

05:55 – Gresham Harkless

Yeah, absolutely. I love that. I wanted to ask you, is that what you consider to be what I like to call your secret sauce, the thing you feel kind of sets you apart and makes you unique? Is it your ability to be able to kind of translate that and help people to kind of understand? Like, how does it sound like, to go deep instead of just going wide in their relationships?

06:11 – Nick Shelton

Yes. So I'd say that. And also, all of these things that I teach, I've done. It wasn't theory. There are a lot of people who teach theory and say, well, scientists say that this part of your brain lights up when you smile at someone and say this. I'm out there in the field. I still do this. I do this daily. I go out, put myself out there, put myself in all kinds of out-of-my-comfort zone situations, and say, let's figure this out. How's this going to work?

So everything that I teach people, it's from actually being out there in the field, you know, the battle-tested, you can read a book, book about war, or you can be in the trenches and you want to learn from someone that's in the trenches, not that, just studied it. So what sets me apart, I would say a lot of people, you know, they'll have some mild things. They just did a lot of research, and they'll say, well, this is what lab rat b did to lab rat a.

But no, I'm out there, and I'm seeing this. Whenever there's new information or someone has a new scenario, I say, can I recreate that scenario? And then I'll go out and try to put myself in that scenario to see how would I figure this out. What would I do in this scenario if I hadn't already experienced it? So everything that I'm teaching comes from that. In the trenches, real world, doing it.

07:24 – Gresham Harkless

Nice. Well, I love that. I wanted to ask. Switch gears a little bit. And I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO hack. So this could be like an app, a book, or a habit that you have, but what's something that makes you more effective and efficient?

07:36 – Nick Shelton

So, for me, time management is a big deal because I was just kind of winging it every day. What made a huge difference in my life was a book called The Perfect Day Formula by Craig Ballantine. That book shows you a wonderful way how to structure your day. And really, you begin the day the night before, so you set up for the next day. So when you wake up, you don't have to say, okay, what am I?

08:03 – Gresham Harkless

Going to do today?

08:03 – Nick Shelton

You already planned it out the night before. And so when you wake up, you can hit the ground running. It has this wonderful method on how to structure your day so you can get the most amount done and still have time for your family, your friends, and hobbies and things like that. So I would say time management and that book, the perfect day formula, have been a game changer for me personally.

08:27 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome, awesome, awesome. So I wanted to ask you now for what I call a CEO nugget. So this is a little bit more of a word of wisdom or piece of advice and might be something you would tell your favorite client, or if you happen to be a time machine, you might tell your younger business self.

08:40 – Nick Shelton

So I would say the most important thing that I would tell someone is to follow up to maintain your relationships because so many people are horrible, horrible at maintaining their relationships. And it can be so easy to do, and people just slip up and so much can be gained by it. So, for example, what I do is quarterly, I will go through my contacts. So every three months, I'll go through all my phone contacts and email contacts, and I'll make a list of people that I should have talked to in the last three months that I didn't talk to, and then I'll just start chipping away at that list so I don't have to do it all in one day.

But every day, I will get my phone, and I'll make a little video, and I just say, hey, I haven't talked to you for a while. Just seeing what's going on. This is the latest with me, you know, what's the latest with you? How's the knee? How's the new baby? You know, all that sort of thing, and then send it off. And what that does is it keeps me top of mind for that other person. So then that way, they know what I'm doing, and what my latest project is, and I'll find out what they're doing.

So that way it's not like one of these things where, say, if I had a son that was about to go to college, and one of these people works at the admissions board of that school, and then I haven't talked to them for six years, and I say, hey, what's going on? Get my son. Get in that school. And they say you haven't talked to me for six years. But if I've been constantly keeping up with people, then they would know that I had a son who was about to go to college, and they would probably reach out and say, hey, did he consider coming to this school?

If you can constantly stay on top of people's minds and so you know what they're doing. So then if there's some value you can add to them, you can say, oh, so and so is working on that project, and this person's working on something similar. Maybe I should introduce them. Or if somebody knows that I'm trying to, like, get a speaking gig or something, and they know that that's what I'm working on lately, they say, oh, these people need someone to speak. Hey, Nick said he's looking to speak. Maybe I'll make that so it just makes everything so much better.

So that little nugget would always follow up and just see who you should have talked to that you didn't. And it only takes a few moments, just a few moments to send a quick video or a voice message or something much better than a text or an email, more personal if you can. I like the video. So you can see the person they can see or they can see you, your gestures and they can hear you, and it's just more personable. If you do that, it pays off really, really well. So that would be the main thing that I would really express that people try to add to their lives.

11:02 – Gresham Harkless

Nice. I absolutely love that nugget. And I think, obviously, the practicality of it of, like you said, you know, sometimes we overthink it when all it takes is maybe a few minutes to say, hey, you know, how are you doing? What are you working on? Working on X, y, and Zenith. Doing that on a consistent basis is huge because I often think we forget that in terms of building relationships, it's not something that happens, oh, I met you, you met me, and then it's over.

We were friends for life. It's something you kind of have to cultivate and continue to kind of work at. And I think when you have that consistency kind of built-in, that helps you to kind of deepen those relationships and those connections, as I know you cover in a lot of the work that you do.

11:36 – Nick Shelton

Yes, absolutely. It's very important.

11:39 – Gresham Harkless

Yes, it's huge. And I wanted to ask you now my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of what it means to be a CEO, and we're hoping to have different, quote-unquote, CEO's on this show. So, Nick, what does being a CEO mean to you?

11:51 – Nick Shelton

To me, it means being a good leader, having that leadership, and leading by example, because, you know, everything in your organization is going to pretty much model what you're doing. And so if, like we talked about earlier, that time management, so if I have good time management and I'm displaying that, then everybody in my organization should be at least be aware of it and, you know, try to kind of fall in line around that same structure.

And so if I can be a good model of what I'm trying to see and be a good leader and be a good example, then I think that that helps the rest of it fall into place. Because if I am sloppy and don't have integrity and I'm not a good leader or I'm treating everybody badly, they're not going to give me their best performance. That's not going to be a team.

It's just going to be me yelling at people or whatever. If we can make it more of a community, have a good culture, and all through the leadership, I think that makes it all come together. So the answer is being a good leader. Being a good example.

13:02 – Gresham Harkless

Nice. I absolutely love that. And we often forget too that, especially if you are mistreating or not treating your team with care. A lot of times they won't treat your clients and customers with care either. So it's so important to realize that the trickle-down effect, and it's definitely not a case where it's done as I say, not as I do, that doesn't happen, I think, to really good leaders. It's so important to make sure that you're emulating and showcasing that strong leadership.

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome. Well, Nick, truly appreciate that definition and of course, I appreciate your time even more. What I wanted to do now was pass you the mic, so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional that you can let our readers and listeners know. And of course, how best people get a hold of you. Get a copy of the book, and find out about all the awesome things that you're working on.

13:42 – Nick Shelton

All right. Well, I would say the little tip that I have is to show up. Nothing happens until you show up. You can sit around daydreaming all day, but when you show up, that's when things happen. And even if you show up and don't like it. So I tell people at events, if you say, well, I don't know how to navigate this event, but you got to show up first. So if you don't go to the event, then nothing's going to happen. You can show up. And even if you do nothing, at least you are there.

So there's a chance that something might happen just by you showing up. But if you don't show up, nothing's going to happen. So show up. Show up every day is the key. And then my website is connectedintrovert.com and find out all the good stuff on there. And then also the book, An Introvert's Guide to World Domination, is also available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. And that's it.

14:33 – Gresham Harkless

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Well, Nick, truly appreciate that. To make it even easier, we're going to have the links and information in the show notes too so that everybody can follow up, get a copy of the book, and hear about all the awesome things that you're doing. But I absolutely love, love, love that last kind of tidbit, that last nugget as well too, because so much happens from just showing up. And so few people often show up and show up consistently.

And I think even if you feel the uncomfortableness, the fear, or whatever it might be, but you show up anyway, sometimes there are phenomenal opportunities that come as a result of that. So truly appreciate that message. Of course, emulating and showcasing us how to be better leaders in so many different forms, shapes, or fashions and of course building those relationships. So truly appreciate you my friend, and I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the day.

15:14 – Outro

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes Google Play and everywhere you listen to podcasts, SUBSCRIBE, and leave us a five-star rating grab CEO gear at www.ceogear.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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