IAM153- Relationship Coach, Published Author and International Speaker Supports Married Couples in Building Happy and Healthy Marriages

Monique Melton is a relationship coach, published author, and international speaker. The heart of her work is to support married couples in building happy and healthy marriages. She travels the world speaking at conferences and events on topics related to personal growth, marriage, and relationships. She’s been published in magazines, featured in blogs and podcasts and has touched the lives of people all over the world. She is a natural big-bold dreamer and a deeply rooted woman of faith. She is a proud Navy wife to her high-school sweetheart and she is a loving mother to two little ones.

• CEO Hack: Planning and sharing schedules as a family (2) Sharing notes on to-do lists through iPhone
• CEO Nugget: Growth hurts; it's uncomfortable and you have to be okay with it because the end results are amazing
• CEO Defined: A leader who is also willing to be led. One who is committed and bears the responsibility of giving the best to the community.  

Website: https://www.moniquemelton.com/

Book: EntrepreFriendships: Step by Step Guide to Make More Meaningful Connections, Earn Greater Business Opportunities, and Develop Real Business Relationships

Instagram: www.Instragram.com/moemotivate
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Moemotivate

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Transcription

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Intro 0:02

Do you want to learn effective ways to build relationships, generate sales and grow your business from successful entrepreneurs, startups, and CEOs without listening to a long, long, long interview? If so, you've come to the right place. Gresham Harkless values your time and is ready to share with you precisely the information you're in search of. This is the I AM CEO Podcast.

Gresham Harkless 0:27

Hello, hello, hello, this is Gresh from the I AM CEO podcast and I have a very special guest on the show today. I have Monique Melton of moniquemelton.com. Monique, it's awesome to have you on the show.

Monique Melton 0:36

Thank you for having me.

Gresham Harkless 0:37

No problem. Thanks for being here. And what I wanted to do was just read a little bit more about Monique so you can hear about all the awesome things that she's doing. Monique is a relationship coach published author and international speaker the heart of her work is to support people in building happy and healthy relationships. She travels the world speaking at conferences and events on topics related to personal growth, marriage, and relationships. She has been published in magazines featured in blogs and podcasts and it has touched the lives of people all over the world. See the natural big, bold dreamer and a deeply rooted woman of faith. She is a proud Navy wife to her high school sweetheart and she has a loving mother to two little ones. Monique, are you ready to speak to the I AM CEO community?

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Monique Melton 1:17

Hey, yeah.

Gresham Harkless 1:19

Let's do it. So the first question I had was just to hear a little bit more about your CEO story and what led you to start your business.

Monique Melton 1:25

Great. I feel like entrepreneurship has been you know, some people will say this, like you just made for this. I feel like that's what my story has been. Because even since I was a kid, I always had like a little hustle. But I started my entrepreneurial endeavors officially like LLC and all that kind of stuff. Right out of college, I was actually a professional makeup artist. And I did that for about a decade.

And after I had my daughter, she's my youngest, I just knew I wanted to do something different and do a lot of soul searching and really thought about the type of purpose that I wanted, or the type of legacy I want to build and the impact I want to have around me and all that. And so I started back in November 2014, doing business and relationship coaching. So I did a lot of business development for clients and help them with their marketing strategies. But what I found in doing that is that most of our conversations, if not almost all of our conversations with my clients involve some type of personal development relationship component. And my educational background is in psychology and counseling.

And so I yield very easily to that subject matter. And the more I work with clients, and the more I do that work, the more I decided that I want to focus on relationships, because I think ultimately, that's what life is about relationships, whether that be our relationship with God, well if you're not a person of faith, that's neither here nor there. But even just the relationship that you have with yourself and with others. And I think a lot of the challenges that we experienced in life can be rooted or directed right back to some type of relationship where there's unresolved pain.

And so we go throughout life, trying to interact with people to save ourselves, protect ourselves. And so if I can help people to have happier or healthy relationships, I think you can have a greater and a bigger impact on the world around us.

Gresham Harkless 3:12

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. And that's awesome that you've devoted your work toward that. Because I think a lot of times when you're talking about business, or you're talking about, marriage or friendships or whatever, you kind of forget that it's kind of people in the people's interactions and relationships with one another. But the fact that as you said, like he felt that was continuing to come up in the work that you were doing, so you decided to kind of devote your time to that and your business. So I know you touched on it a little bit, but I wanted to hear a little bit more about how you work with and serve the clients that you work with.

Monique Melton 3:40

Yeah, so now my focus is on relationships. I either have clients who are like I work with couples, but a lot of times I'm working with the individual, a woman who's coming in with to me who's struggling with maybe confidence, some mindset issues, anxiety, not clinical anxiety. I always recommend people to see a therapist for things like that, but kind of just things that are affecting the way that she is going about her everyday life. And then as far as our couples, often people come when things have completely fallen apart. I wish I could get people to look at their marriage, almost like a car, you don't drive it around.

And then when all the gas is out, you're like, Oh man, I need to go to the gas station like that would be a huge inconvenience. There are signals and things that your car tells you that something is wrong and then you take it to go get it fixed. You don't wait to it's completely not even operable to go and repair it. It's a lot more work. It's a lot more time it's a lot more energy. And sometimes you are just right. This is a new car, and I just wish people will say, I want to put my marriage in as a priority and make it more let's maintain our relationship. Let's address issues that come up when they're small because if we don't address them when it's small, they're just gonna stay it's not gonna go away. It's gonna be one bigger issue.

So I do that for my one-on-one clients that do either couples or women. And then I also still have some business clients. But that's just because I'm currently rebranding, I do a lot of public speaking, I talk about personal growth, I talk about relationships, and also talk about diversity. And we're working on my second book right now. And I also have some resources like workbooks, guides, and things on business and relationships on my website, as well. So I have different ways to support people, depending on where you're coming from, that's pretty much what I have right now.

Gresham Harkless 5:33

And that's awesome. And I love the metaphor of the car, making sure that, okay, this engine has failed or something, for whatever reason, it means that's probably has built up over time. So you make sure that you take care of the things before it manifests themselves into what could be a bigger issue. So I love that you kind of focus on that and remind us of that, which is definitely important.

Monique Melton 5:52

Thank you. Yeah, absolutely.

Gresham Harkless 5:54

Yeah and now I wanted to ask you for what I call your secret sauce. And this could be like, what you feel kind of distinguishes you or your organization. But what do you feel could be your secret sauce?

Monique Melton 6:03

Okay, so I love cupcakes. And well, I love anything sweet, honestly. So I like to use the acronym sweet a lot. And so I use that even with my business clients. And it's the stuff for creating your brand story. Well, client experience, exceptional marketing, and team. And so I've kind of created a new approach to use, like taking a spin-off of that to work with couples and working with relationship coach. And I was, I would definitely say, like, my secret sauce is that I like to keep things very simple.

I think sometimes we overcomplicate things and like to throw in, all these different steps and tools, and I gotta have this, I gotta have that I gotta have this in order for your relationship to be healthy. But it really doesn't have to be that complicated, you can have some key components in your relationship, and you can build from there, so definitely, in my opinion, you want to have some level of spirituality, just recognizing that there's something that's bigger than you, it's not just, people out here just walking around willy nilly.

So that's a big thing. But I also think having a working commitment towards your own personal growth, and understanding that I am responsible for myself, I can't make my husband be responsible for my own happiness, because that's a hit that's a heavy responsibility is also impossible, you can certainly contribute to how someone feels and all those kinds of things.

But Ultimately, I'm the one who is responsible for my emotions, my decisions, and all that. And so that's, working towards your own personal growth, effective communication is hands down, probably one of the most important things for our relationship, if I'm saying things in a way that you don't understand, but you're taking them one way, and I'm taking in another, that's gonna cause so much friction and chaos.

And so instead of, letting that marinate and just turn into something else, let's communicate effectively. And there are all different ways to go about effective communication. And that's one of the big things that I do when I am working with couples, but even just working with my one on one clients, because of the way they're communicating with themselves, how are you talking to yourself? Are you engaging in negative self-talk? Or are you saying things to yourself that are more positive and aligned with who you really are and what you want to accomplish?

And so that's the first effective communication, and then enjoying each other, having fun doing things outside of just the day to day to day, hustle and bustle, I have two kids, and we have so many things going on all the time.

And so we have to create that time to make sure that we are investing in ourselves as a unit, not just what you have going on what I have us together, so join each other laughing, growing together. And then the tea, the last letter for sleep is Team remembering that you're on the same team. So I kept the team from the original acronym or did it originally because a lot of times in a relationship, if you feel like the person is against you, you're everything that they do, you're gonna see it through that lens.

But if we're working on the same team, that means that if you make a mistake, or if you think about like a football team, and you bump into your teammate, if I know we're on the same team, I'm not going to take that as if you're the opponent trying to knock me down it was an accidental mistake.

And so when you think about, Okay, we're on the same team, that means that I need to give you grace, I need to communicate with you. I need to make sure that I support you, I encourage you, I'm rooting for you, and I want you to win because you win I win.

So I will say those all together as my secret sauce to helping people remember some of the components there's more to having a healthy relationship but those are some of the like main components when it comes to marriage, but even just friendships, if you have a friend and you know that to be on the same team, that means that you're rooting for each other, you want each other to succeed. So that was a long answer. But that's pretty much what it is.

Gresham Harkless 10:10

No, I appreciate you for sharing that. And I had to have a sweet tooth. So that definitely resonated with me. So I appreciate you. And now I wanted to switch gears a little bit and ask you for what I call a CEO hack. And this might be an app or book or habit that you have, but it's something that makes you more effective and efficient as a business owner.

Monique Melton 10:26

Definitely planning, my schedule, my husband, and I share our schedules with one another. And so that way, he knows what I have going on. I know he has going on, although he doesn't have much going on outside of what we do as a family. So I'm usually the one who has a meeting here and event here, all that. so I definitely think planning ahead, we have certain days where we designate to, you know, go over our budget and go over our appointments and things that we have going on. But with so many moving pieces, and so many things to do and accomplish sitting down and having a plan included in the calendar was probably the best thing for sure.

What I would add to that is we share a note on our iPhones that this is just such a simple, very practical thing. But it just helps us stay organized. That's our grocery list. And it's categorized by store and by section in the store. So if my husband I'm like, Hey, can you go to the grocery store today, he doesn't have to come home and get the list or I don't have to take a picture of the list that I wrote down. So used to do that, you know, it's already on the phone. So it's just a way for us to be efficient. And for us to keep communication with one another really smooth and effective.

Gresham Harkless 11:40

It makes perfect sense. Yeah, definitely leverage all this technology that we have out there. So it's good to hear that you guys are doing that to be effective and efficient. And now I wanted to ask you for what I call a CEO nugget. And this is a word of wisdom or piece of advice. You might have already touched on this, but what would you tell your younger business self?

Monique Melton 11:54

My younger business out, I would tell my younger business self that growth hurts, it's uncomfortable. And it's part of the process. I think initially when I started my business, I was really surprised by some of the growing pains and had I just kind of anticipated that like becoming a mom, you know that you're gonna have to change diapers, like you know that it's part of the process, you're not shocked that you have to do that. It still stings, like there's nothing pleasant about it. But at least you know that's part of the worst. Me, I didn't really anticipate that I didn't anticipate some of the growing pains of building a team or dealing with it. Unfortunately, I hate to say it like this, but there were definitely people who just wanted to sabotage you and didn't want to see you dealing with that.

So I would definitely tell my younger self, that it's okay to be uncomfortable with the growing pains because they're not supposed to feel good. But the growth that comes after that is what is rewarding. And so just push through it, don't give up. Don't be discouraged, go to the people who love you and let them encourage you and help you feel better. But keep going when it's all said and done.

Gresham Harkless 13:02

Makes perfect sense. Yeah, especially when you're getting out of your comfort zone, you have to be able to kind of understand that that's what'll make you uncomfortable. And then in order to grow, you have to kind of have a little bit of pain to do that. So I think that was a great CEO nugget. And now I wanted to ask you my absolute favorite question, which is the definition of being a CEO, and we're hoping to have different, quote-unquote, CEOs on the show. So what does being a CEO mean to you?

Monique Melton 13:22

I believe being a CEO, to me, is someone who is a leader and is willing to also be led by someone who is constantly committed to their own learning their own development journey, I think CEO, sometimes gives the idea that, Oh, I'm the one in charge. But with that comes a lot of responsibility to maintain good relationships to have harmony in your life.

So I think being a CEO comes with a responsibility towards my business and what I'm doing, I need to make sure that I'm taking care of myself so that I can show up in the world and give my best. I think also, being a CEO means that I need to be very aware of the needs of the people in my community so that I can innovate and pivot when necessary.

So keeping that communication open is important. So ultimately, it's just being a person who's committed to being a leader in the cut and leading and serving the community that they are assigned to.

Gresham Harkless 14:26

That makes perfect sense. And I think that's an incredible definition, Monique. I truly appreciate you for taking some time out of your schedule. What I wanted to do is pass you the mic so to speak, just to see if there's anything additional you want to let our readers and our listeners know and how best they can get a hold of you.

Monique Melton 14:39

Well, the easiest way to get a hold of me, is I'm not on Instagram all the time. So find me @moemotivate. And I would just also like to add for anyone who's listening and maybe they're in a place where business isn't going the way that you hope or maybe even you're thinking about starting a business but you're afraid of some of the ups and downs that come along with it. I was just encouraging. Let's just remember that, you know, life is so precious, and we don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring.

So if we can just be intentional with the time that we do have and live it in a way that we can look back and be proud of the decisions that we are making, then I think that's what our service to eat ourselves and to one another. And so that means for me, I'm being intentional with my time and what I'm doing is that I don't allow fear to dictate my choices, but that I instead say, You know what, Okay, fear I see you, but I'm going to do this anyway. Because I know it's what's best for me and what I'm working towards and the people that I serve, that's where I would add.

Gresham Harkless 15:40

I love it. I love it. Yeah, that's an awesome reminder and parting word of wisdom, but money. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the day.

Monique Melton 15:48

Thank you so much.

Outro 15:49

Thank you for listening to the I AM CEO Podcast powered by Blue 16 Media. Tune in next time and visit us at iamceo.co

I AM CEO is not just a phrase, it's a community. Be sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes Google Play and everywhere you listen to podcasts, SUBSCRIBE, and leave us a five-star rating grab CEO gear at www.ceogear.co. This has been the I AM CEO Podcast with Gresham Harkless. Thank you for listening.

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